food bike cart

Sometimes I just don't get it if the universe is trying to give me a message.   Recently, my food donation partner has been inviting someone else (who has a station wagon) along because there's enough food and she has a family to feed.  Also, I've given up doing the clothing donations because of school obligations.  And I'm in the process of getting rid of my car.  The main thing holding me back is the food donations.  Today, the rest of my house needed the car so I didn't have access to the car at the time I needed it.  All of this should have made me realize that it wasn't meant to be anymore and I should just give up the food donations.  I'm not saying I'm rich or anything but I do have the money to buy groceries now.  When I started doing the food donations, it was because I took a job that paid a lot less and I was determined to make it work.  Well, it did and I should move on.  But no, I did it on bike.

The bike cart hasn't fulfilled it's function of being a form of transport for Dean.  Dean's actually gotten better and doesn't really need to be pulled around in a cart.  So I used it today for food.  We still used my partner's friend's station wagon but I hauled my own personal box in my bike cart.  I don't know if that's what we'll be doing from now on but it worked for today.  Plus it was a beautiful sunny day out.  Maybe, in that respect, the universe was telling me to go for it but to go by bike.

What else?

After 16 years, It's a Beautiful Pizza had it's last day today.  A crowd of us went there tonite for one last slice.  I have a lot of good memories from the place and it's been an active activist place for many years, hosting shows, speaking engagements, meetings and video showings.  Their atmosphere was great, the location was ideal, the pizza could be good (especially when you special ordered a slice or pizza) but I guess it just wasn't making money.  It's been a food staple of mine for a while now, an option that's always out there.  It'll be missed.

portland's first annual tweed ride

(This is one of my favorite photos ever.)

Tally ho!  T'was a delightful day for a ride on the bicycle, I do say.

The winter here seems so long.  It was wonderful today to have a bike ride to help break it up and to get the bike crowd together.  Other cities have started doing tweed rides where people dress up in tweed suits and look like their either come from the BBC or Mary Poppins.  It's surprising that it took Portland this long to have a tweed ride but we pulled it off in style with around 120 participants.

I love cyclists.  My tire started losing air after we biked up all the way north and I had to shout out for a bike pump on three separate points in the ride and I had no trouble finding one and someone who would wait with me while I filled it up.

At the end of the ride, there was a fashion contest.  I thought I was in good running since I had someone ask me earlier to pose for the camera.  I didn't end up winning but I did have a fabulous time.  And I made it to Seven Corners before my tire was completely useless.  I luv that shop!  I got a new tube and he changed it for me in a matter of minutes and I paid less than $10 (because I bought a bell too).

Here are some more pics from the ride:

What else?

I decided to be social after the ride as well and went to a Riot Cop show at the feminist bookstore In Other Words.  They used to have a location on Hawthorne and I would do there all the time but they moved up to north a few years ago and today was my first visit.

We ended the night with karaoke at the Galaxy.  There were seven of us there.  One guy (not with us) got up to sing a country song about loving the USA and ended up adding, "And I'm afraid of fucking faggots" in between lyrics.  The KJ didn't cut him off which pissed me off.  Later, when I got up to sing, I used the mic to tell the guy that he should be afraid because we're everywhere.  Then I blew him a kiss.  I was really hoping that he would come up to start a fight because I could have beaten him up but he didn't hear me or at least didn't acknowledge me.

The TV show Dollhouse ran its abrupt series finale last night which blew me away this afternoon when I watched it.  I <3 Joss Whedon and almost everything he does.  The show started off rough but got a lot better, especially when they had to pick up the pace because they found out they were cancelled.  Oh well, it's one less distraction for me...and Lost begins its last season next week anyway.

portlanders

I met my friend Jess today for happy hour at Hungry Tiger Too today.  I've been there a few times before but this was my first extended stay there where multiple drinks were bought.  Also, I realized that Spanish Coffees with whipped cream do not mix with mustaches very well.

I also realized (or more likely reaffirmed) that this is my home.  I am a Portlander.  I may have grew up somewhere else but I've been here for over seven years now.  Jess is newer to Portland but she's spent a good amount of time in the Northwest.  However, since we're both born in the Great Plains, we can catch the apparent differences and greatly appreciate them.  Jess also works with people with developmental disabilities in a fine arts setting so we have a lot to talk about in the work realm too.  Overall, it was a great time and cheap too.  I had two rum and cokes and my Spanish Coffee and Jess had two gin and tonics and it only cost us $13.50.  I love this city.

What else?
With the money I saved I drinks, I went to cartopia and bought a fried pie.  I was talking to a co-worker earlier about the peanut butter fried pie and I began craving that.  However, when I went to order, I ended up choosing the savory Vegan Empanada.  It was okay but I should've got something sweet instead.

leaders, advisers, clients and dependents

I met with my college adviser for the first time today.  Next week we have a placement fair which will determine where I do my internship next year so I had some questions for him like, "How the hell is this gonna work?"  He told me that it's 16 hours a week during the weekdays.  Maybe it could be only 10 hours a week but that would mean that I would have to work at the internship over breaks and summer and it would be up to the site to determine.

I was really nervous about discussing this with my boss and my supervisor so I did it as soon as I could in order to get it over with.  They first asked if I could do the internship at my place of work and I informed them of the prerequisites for placement agencies which my workplace didn't meet.  So they said, "Well, we'll work with it then."  They weren't upset and they weren't going to make me work overtime or weekends.  We discussed how I could reduce my caseload to make it easier on me even.  I have the best bosses anywhere.  I also decided that I would have to stick with the four-year program instead of getting this done in three years.  Doing it in three years would mean 16 hours of internship my last two years along with at least two classes each quarter.  Add CARF (work's every 3 year accreditation) on top of all that my third year and I would lose my mind.  Four is definitely better.

What else?
Part of making my job easier is shifting around a number of my clients so we can all get what we want.  They'll be in stores that better fit their needs and I'll ultimately end up with less people.  I toured with my client and their guardian through a different store today.  Fortunately, it's not my store. :)

I walked Dean down to the vet clinic to weigh in.  He's been dieting since we last went to the vet clinic and they told us to not constantly keep his food bowl full.  He's lost only a few pounds but it's enough to drop him under what qualifies as "obese."

running to the sun

Every day start as wonderful as today did.  I feel bad saying that considering an acquaintance of mine just killed herself.  I am sad that she's gone.  She was an incredibly vibrant person that appeared to be so strong on certain levels.  I'm really surprised that she did it.  However, I'm also really disappointed in her for doing it.  A mutual friend is going through a lot of shit right now and this just makes it so much worse.  Really, the person that kills themselves takes the easy route out and the people they leave behind are left to pick up the pieces.

I realized that life does go on.  That's one of the many reasons why I would never off myself.  People will mourn you.  Hell, maybe even loved one who can't live without you will follow you but life still ticks on after you're gone so why miss out on it?

This morning, I was determined to get to the PSU gym and go to the hot tub.  I thought it'd be a fine way to start off the morning but when I got there, it was closed.  However, the elliptical machines on the top floor face the east wall which is basically a big window.  The people that were running on these machines were bathed in the sunrise and it was too inviting to pass up.  I went up there and ran my first full workout on those machines.  I was also fortunate enough to find Shaun the Sheep on TV which is stop motion animation ala Wallace and Gromit so I was laughing out loud while running.

The sun stayed out pretty much the entire day.  I didn't actually go to work-work until the end of the work day.  After class, I took the bus out to my Powell store and had a "words not fists" meeting with one of my clients.  By the time I bussed back to the office, I had to sit through one class and then it was time to go home.  I can't believe I got paid for the whole day.  I love my job.

What else?
I went to Crush and had chocolate martinis while I talked to Arturo after work because it was the perfect way to end a perfectly satisfying day.

a d'oh moment

This has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever done.  So, I was pulling my bike out of the trunk today at work.  The window next to my car in the picture above is my boss's office.  A part of my bike got caught on the fire extinguisher that I have in the trunk.  It starts spraying and my trunk is in an instant fog.  I reach in and grab the thing and it still won't stop.  The pin isn't removed and the handle doesn't seem to be depressed so I don't know what the hell is happening.  In desperation to move away from my boss's and the business office's window, I haul it and half of my bike across the street while the thing is still spraying.  I end up jamming it nozzle-down into the bark dust.  It was extremely embarrassing but I'm sure that I would've been laughing my ass off if I had been watching it from the window.

What else?
I used the lifting equipment at the PSU gym and increased the weights I curl.  I'm realizing that the apartment complex gym is really ghetto because it's a relief to have equipment that's not cracked, weights in decent increments and staff on hand to help with the equipment.  I still haven't used the pool or hot tub yet.  I'm pretty sure that will be tomorrow's new thing.

I also found out that a friend of a friend, a former co-worker killed herself earlier this week.  I'm really nervous about how my friend will handle the news.  Fuck.

it's seattle!

If I had to move from Portland today, I would probably go to Seattle.  Despite it's lack of parking and crazy hills for biking, it's a pretty fabulous city.

It's a relatively new city for me that I've only visited three times previously (and only stayed overnight in once) so there were plenty of new things for me to do.  I started off the day with the most obvious new thing, go up the Space Needle.  It's great to be able to see the city at 520 feet.  It probably would have been better if it wasn't cloudy out but it is Seattle.

After paying for a hotel room, I decided to get all of my money's worth and indulge in their continental breakfast.  However, I was the only one up at the time so we had to go somewhere else for food afterwards.  Food has been difficult for us with the dietary restrictions/preferences within our household and going to a different city didn't make it any easier last night.  We drove around a lot trying to find food and ended up having to hit numerous places and putting together a half-ass meal.  Breakfast made up for it though at the Wayward Cafe.  Their biscuits and gravy beat any Portland b&g.

It was also Raven's first time in Seattle.  His enthusiasm and awe were contagious.  In order for him to see some of the sites quickly, we went to Pikes Place Market and walked around.  At work, there's a video that we've had to watch in trainings all about the Fish Market at Pikes Place and about how these guys make a shitty job fun.  While everyone else was in a fragrance store, I went to watch them.  They are probably the most entertaining fish mongers anywhere.

And then there was the baby shower.  I adore Josie and I think Micheal's great so I couldn't be happier for them.  Damn, they're gonna be awesome parents together!  It was so wonderful traveling to see Josie with the Portland crew.  I love that so many people came up for the shower.  It was crazy watching the baby dance around in Josie though.

After the baby comes, I'm going to come back and visit.  Maybe I'll just take the train up here.  Josie and I keep trying to make plans for a walking tour of Seattle.  Knowing that there's gonna be a baby here too in the very near future just makes the city that much more attractive.

What else?

Dean was over-excited when we got back.  A friend was looking after him but he still missed us so I took him out to Potato Champion's where we met some fellow travelers when we got back.  I am definitely going back to Cartopia but not for the fries, for the fried pies!

toys for tots

Buying for babies is infinitely more fun than buying gifts for anybody else. Josie's baby shower is tomorrow so Ashes and I went to The Village Merchant today for the first time to buy some gifts. I picked up this monkey and I had a hard time putting it down so I had to buy it.

I'm really looking forward to this trip. It's made me realize that I need to get out of town more often. I think I'll be taking a trip on my birthday or over spring break...

reservations without reservations

The Long Haus is going to Seattle!

Our friend Josie is having a baby so we're going to her shower.  Although we know a spattering of people in Seattle, a lot of us are headed up there for the shower so space might be limited.  We decided that we didn't want to just do a day-trip so it'd just be easier if we booked a hotel room.  To help with my air mileage on my Frontier card, I booked the room.  I can't wait to get out of town!

recs in effect

Today I found one of the best student benefits other than the education I am receiving.  The new student rec center takes up the first four floors of the new building which houses the social work program offices.  They have a pool, hot tub(!), rock wall (!!), elevated track (pictured above) and a whole lot more.  All of their running/climbing machines have a small TV mounted to it like the screens of travel DVD players.  I can tell where my tuition dollars went.

I left work a tad early to get to campus before class so I had time to explore the rec center.  I bought a padlock, changed into my workout gear and ran on a treadmill for a bit while I watched a bad FX movie with no sound or closed captioning.  I thought that was sort of silly (I like closed captioning) but I will definitely be going there more often.  The hot tub was closed today but I am sure that it will be my new thing before too long.

write on

Today, I saw someone I know live one of my dreams and I'm kind of glad that it was him and not me.

From an early age, I believed I wanted to be a writer.  I was an avid reader as a kid and I had an overactive imagination so I thought that would easily translate into writing.  I took creative writing classes in high school and majored in English in college.  I took poetry classes, advanced writing classes, served on the editorial board of the University's literary journal (which I did poorly) and even submitted some of my stories to magazines for publication.  Nothing was ever published and I never really found the ability to complete even a short story outside of college.  I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Magpie is touring with his book on the history of anarchism.  Personally, it's not my bag.  I'm not a history buff.  However, I thought his presentation at Powells Bookstore tonight was well done and well received by the absolutely full reading room.  It was a bit too full so I took Raven to another room so we could read comic books.

I really think that I'm happy with the path I've chosen.  Maybe if I'd pursued writing more and fought to make it into the business, I'd be happy there too.  I just feel that I'm doing something more substantial here.

What else?
Before the presentation, we went to the Vegetarian House and I got "Ham"-fried rice for the first time.  Classy as I am, I ate half of it during the presentation.  While leaving, a guy on the street corner tried to sell us a plastic rose or something like that for a dollar.  When we said no thanks, he asked if I could spare my supper.  It was good but I think that I ate my money's worth out of it so I gave him the other half.  I hope he enjoyed it.

dumb

I'm not going to say what my new thing was today because this isn't the place.  However, I will say that it was incredibly stupid and I won't be doing it again anytime soon.

on the mend

Yesterday, the doctor not only told me that I wasn't really sick but she said I should exercise more.  She wasn't implying that I'm not healthy but she said that a lack of exercise can make you feel a lot more sick than you actually are.  That makes sense so today, I rode my bike to work, went to the gym and did a better workout than I've done in months and walked Dean up to Trader Joe's where I bought a Italian bean salad.  It was damn good and I feel great.  I'm usually afraid that I'll push myself too hard and leave my body vulnerable but I think I did it some good today.

group dynamics

I think of myself as a lone wolf.  I'm not being romantic or a tough guy.  I just think that I work better when I don't have to rely on anyone else and I can go about my day knowing that nobody else is really relying on me, obviously except for my clients and Dean.  Being on my own is something that I have grown accustomed to and fond of.  Therefore, when I started this quarter and saw that there would be group assignments in each class, I cringed.

I have PTSD from elementary school gym class when it comes to splitting into groups.  I always fear that I'm going to be left without a group and I'll have to partner with the teacher or something like that.  In my class yesterday, it worked out nicely though because the teacher split us up according to fields of interest.  I'm the only person in my classes who is interested in working with adults with DD but there were two other people interested in working with adults with mental health issues so we got partnered up.

In today's class, I sat by Allyn (from my culture class last quarter) and we agreed that we would be in a group together but the teacher was splitting the class of 26 people into six groups.  She didn't want more than five to any one group.  It turns out that we waited until everyone else had split up into groups of four and we were going to have to get split up ourselves.  We must have looked pathetic because everyone let out a collective, "Awwww," when Allyn asked if we had to be in different groups then.  However, she ended up letting us work in together in a group with four other people so yay.  Even though the process of breaking into groups was upsetting, we still got what we wanted.

The story doesn't translate well into written form but it was actually a nice moment, especially for a 'dividing up' moment.  It was cool that Allyn wanted to work with me, even though we had no idea what we wanted to work on.  Also, it's cool that we found a group with a handful of other people from our culture class.  I like these people and I think that, ultimately, we will be stronger as a group than I could be alone.  I can work with that.

What else?
Hypochondria set in with Victory getting pneumonia.  I ran to the bus this morning and I realized my lungs felt like they were full of crud.  I was worried about the onset of pneumonia so I went to a new doctor (my new thing).  She said that I was healing and there was really nothing she could do for me...besides give me codeine.  Yay, I love the Kaiser Drug Dispensary.  I'm gonna sleep well tonight.

one of those moments

January sucks and this one sucks particularly bad.  Every January, I have to re-time my clients at each job they do to measure their progress.  That means a whole lot of work for me.  It's also my first winter term and classes are a bit more challenging than they were last term.  To top it all off, I'm fighting nasty cough.

All of this was beginning to bog me down.  I thought I could just turn all emotions off and just plow through the month (and the quarter) with my head held low and persevere.  Yet, today, I had a few moments of sunshine.

I got to watch Spiderman 3 with some of the ATE clients and my favorite guy, M.S., in particular.  This guy is usually a reminder of how much I mean to the clients at work.  I was hardly in yesterday due to timings and today I had a last-minute training so I came in just an hour and a half before M.S. was due to leave.  He was in tears, wondering where I had been.  I got him to quickly turn it around and we actually had a decent conversation afterwards.  Usually, our conversations are about me being a hot-headed woman or him saying he's going to cut my throat.  But today was different.  Then I brought out Spiderman 3 which I got from the library specifically for him (he loves Peter Parker).  He sat right next to me and tried to hide every time the phone rang because he thought it was his ride to go home.  He asked if he could spend the night here and he asked if I was going to spend the night.  It's hard to describe that level of trust and confidence he was placing in me and how damn rewarding it felt.  Anyway, it was the highlight of my year so far and that's even with Spiderman 3, the most inferior of the three Spiderman movies.

What else?
I had my second research class.  After struggling with my readings this past weekend, I finally got what it was saying today.  It felt good to realize that it wasn't me, it was the way the text was written.  The teacher is also very good at conveying the information and making it obtainable.  He also has the most expressive hand gestures.  At one point, he did this funky gesture when saying "radical."  I loved it so much I imitated it in my chair without thinking about it.  He gave me a real quizzical look and I felt like apologizing but that's really hard to apologize for without making it more of an issue.

I attended a work training on Rules and Rights.  It was supposed to last two hours.  However, after 45 minutes, the instructor said, "Well, I thought there would be a lot more audience participation.  That's pretty much all I have."  We spent the next 45 minutes in an agonizing Q&A.  There was a lady beating an easy topic into the ground with a defeatist attitude.  It was a relatively minor problem and this lady would not accept any solution offered by the teacher.  "I've tried that," "My supervisors won't change their schedule," "She won't listen", etc.  This lady had tried nothing and she was all out of ideas.  After enduring as much as we could, we left early.

Still, it was a good day.

standing up the bride

There's a guy in a wedding dress and stiletto heels in here waiting to see me and my housemate.

Last week, a co-worker heard about a drag show going on for people with developmental disabilities.  While it may offend some people's sensibilities, I think that it's about time something like this happened.  I work for a relatively Christian-based organization and I still have two openly queer clients who happened each be interested in pushing the gender-envelope.  One of the clients is male-born and female identified.  The other client is just coming out of the closet and is interested more in drag.  The first client has some support structures in place but the second client seems to be left out in the world without any guidance so a few co-workers and I have rallied around him.  When we found out about this drag show, we called him about it immediately and he was sooooo damn excited!

This event actually came up at a good time for me academically because I've been looking for a point of human development to write about for my theory class.  I started off writing about coming out.  Then I changed my paper to how the media has impacted LGBTQ youth, specifically in rural areas.  However, it all felt a little juvenile to me.  This is the first paper for a professor who frankly intimidates me and who I want to impress.  After tonight though, I was inspired to write about the lack of sexual development (queer or straight) in people with developmental disabilities.

Even though we're a vocational site, we've held a sex education class before, complete with bananas and condoms which I thankfully did not have to teach.  However, it's more common that people with DD are seen as neutered.  For a large part of the general population, it's unfathomable to imagine people with DD in a healthy, consensual sexual relationship.  Still, at least half of the people I serve have a significant other.  While I am not up for teaching sex ed, I do think that it's important that their questions are answered and their identities get to be explored.  Completely forgoing sexual education doesn't teach appropriate or inappropriate sexual conduct so the people with DD are left to their own to determine what is and isn't right.  This is easy for some and extremely difficult for many others.

Well, that's my soapbox issue.  It worked well for my paper hopefully.  Anyway, we were on our way to see a client of ours in what would be his 'coming-out' party but we were turned away.  They sold out!   I was disappointed I couldn't make it in but I have to say that it speaks volumes as to how much this event was needed.  I just hope they have another one soon!

in my top five

When 'Run Lola Run' came to video in late 99 or early 2000, the preview for it played on our promo reel at the video store enough times that I decided I had to give it a shot.  Within the first five minutes, my roommate Brian asked me what the hell I just rented.  By the end, we were each blown away and I was racing to the store to buy the soundtrack which I would have worn out had it been a cassette tape.

Favorites are a peculiar thing.  It's odd what resonates with us and what doesn't resonate with others.  It might have been the time and place I was in when I watched it but I was in love with this movie.  I bought the English dubbed video (foolishly), then the English subtitled version and finally the DVD.  I also have the movie poster hanging in my room.  I realize that it's not one of the best movies ever made but it's one of my favorite and it's a damn good movie.

I think that it's one concepts in Run Lola Run that sells me on the movie; everything we do has an impact on our surroundings in some way, shape or form.  I used to see children as the only way your everyday person could have a lasting effect on the world that went beyond their lifetime.  However, Run Lola Run really brings home the point that whether we are conscious of it or not, we impact people all of the time and that sets off a ripple of how they impact others in their surroundings and so on and so forth.  In other words, what we do in this life does indeed make a difference.  Well, it's that concept and the kick-ass original soundtrack.

The Laurelhurst, one of my favorite theaters, is playing Run Lola Run this week.  Dominic went to see it with me today and we pointed out scenery that we saw when we were in Berlin.  While I would count this movie as a new thing since it does have such an impact on my life, I could also say that not drinking beer and instead trying lemonade at the Laurelhurst is my new thing for the day.

test drive dog

Tonight, I met Scout, a mixed-breed dog that looks like a large beagle.  She has a lot of hound in her and hardly barks.  She's about 5 years old and really sweet.  I think 5 years old is close the perfect dog age because they still have a lot of energy but they have the brains to know what to do with it.

Sophia is considering getting a dog and Scout's owner is looking to get rid of her because they never bonded.  Dogs are a lot of responsibility so I can see not wanting to take all of that on if you really don't feel attached to the dog.  At the same time though, Scout has been through three other human, all of which have gotten rid of her for the same reason.  This dog is not unlovable.  I just do think that she's had the time to grow on anybody.

Dean didn't attach himself instantly to my heart either.  After he tore a four foot hole in my kitchen carpet, I had flyer made up to give him away and I had a co-worker Peggy that was willing to take him.  I was so close to getting rid of him but my co-worker Chele said that it would be like giving away a kid.  Still, the dog really pissed me off but his big brown eyes won out in the long run and I have never regretted keeping him.

Poor Scout.  If we had more room, I'd take her in too.  If I had more room though, I'd take a lot more animals in.  I guess it's because I'm a softy and attach to animals quickly.

What else?
I spent most of the day worrying about a test that I was supposed to have for my 550 research class.  However, I couldn't find the test on-line so i e-mailed the professor.  It turns out that the test isn't available until next week.  Woo-hoo.  I feel like I was just given a reprieve.  I'm not feeling well so I don't want to go out but I find it hard to study in my house with so many distractions.  I'll just put off my reading until next week when I'm feeling better.

Funky Door closed down.  Sad.  I highly value coffee places within walking distance that have couches.  Hopefully another one will spring up in that location soon.

i've got a theory

I don't like talking in abstracts, what-ifs or over-generalizations so I've got to wonder what I'm doing in a theory class.  My only hope(s) is that my classes are going to surprise me this quarter by being fascinating or that the quarter will at least go by quickly.

Today was my second class.  Fortunately, I have several people from my last quarter (and people I really liked) in this class and actually a good number of people that were in my research class yesterday too.  Unfortunately, the teacher seems to be really by-the-book and speaks like she's coughing up a social work glossary.  I haven't taken a theories class before and this is only my second term as a social work student so there's a whole lot of the terminology that is completely foreign to me.

I also find that it's interesting that I've now attended four classes with approximately 65 different students (which I think is close to half of all the admitted 1st years) and I am still the only person I know that is working or interested in working with people with developmental disabilities.  Am I in the wrong place?  A personal agent for one of our clients told a co-worker that she went through this exact same program and was disappointed because she wanted to learn more about people with DD and ended up just getting overeducated about LGBTQ people.  That'd be fine but that's not what I'm aiming for professionally.

What else?
To add to my disappointment, I went to Fernando's Mundo Fiesta which proudly advertises vegan and veggie food.  I ordered the Rip City Garden Burger.  It wasn't bad but it was absolutely nothing special.  They do have other veggie options, some of which have to have a personal touch so maybe I'll go back.

Also, I hurt today.  I played the Wii with Ashes a lot yesterday when I was sick and he was taking a vacation day.  We wakeboarded for quite a while and now it hurts to open a car door.

a new quarter

I'm not ready for this.

Winter break was too long and not long enough all at the same time.  It was too long because it allowed me to break all of my habits of focusing on reading and allowed me to get hooked on a new Wii game.  It was too short after all of that happened.  When is it all just going to be fun again?

After leaving work yesterday, I felt like ass.  I went home, got into my PJs and watched several episodes of Golden Girls.  I had bizarre dreams all night about how balancing a yellow bowl of porridge on my head meant that it was going to disappear, I would end up with cold porridge all over my face and I wouldn't be able to go to class.  However if I balanced a red bowl, it would hold and all be okay.  I would skip work but be okay with going to class.  In my dream, I must have balanced a sturdy red bowl of porridge on my head because I ended up calling in sick to work but feeling well enough by the end of the day to make it to class.  That's a weird sentence.

My first class of the winter term was held in the new social work building, the student rec center.  After work calms down at the end of January, I'm gonna take advantage of the center and go exercising or at least use their sauna/hot tubs/pool.  My new instructor seems like a nice guy.  There were about 25 people in class and I only had class with 6 of them last quarter.  It's a whole new world with a very familiar dark cloud above my free time.

my way

I do my worst thinking at 5am with no sleep.

When I was going to Kearney, I lived in a basement apartment of a house with my housemate Nate and Brian crashed there too.  Above us, there lived a rotating group of guys that liked to throw parties and secure their amateur status as drummers.  I also had a job for a while that started at 5 am.  Needless to say, there two parts did not mix well.  As I would lay awake at night, I would think of wondrous things like power outages, fires or better parties that could possibly end the night or at least get the stereo to stop.  I recalled those nights last night.

My new thing was going to Burger King off Hawthorne and MLK...at 5 am...with Dean.  Before 5am, DJ Herbal Tea played "The Last Dance" but I knew it wasn't going to be literal.  Afterwards, he played the Star Wars disco version and I had enough.  Our walls and my door is not that thick and my patience was that thin.  Instead of running into the garage and flipping the breakers, I grabbed Dean and left the house.  My lack of sleep had depleted my energy and I needed more food.  Our house was dry of food and I didn't want to be around anyone anyway so I left.

Contrary to how I may sound, I do like parties.  I like parties that I can leave when I'm ready to go (or just choose not to attend in the first place).  Parties at our house don't allow me to do so, not if I want to go anywhere where I can sleep.

I did realize that my emotions were running high and I wasn't thinking rationally though so I avoided everyone until I got some sleep and even then I kept my distance until I could get home (from food donations), walk Dean, clean my tub and take an aromatherapy-salts bath while reading a Buffy comic book anthology and listen to some Bonobo.  That's how I like to party. :)

the capicorn party

I wish I knew more about music but all I can say is that I'm learning.

Today, at the Victory, Wendy and M2's Capicorn birthday party, I DJ'ed in the living room (for the first time).  I did the early set so I could get away from people when they got too drunk and I got tired of it all.  I figured out that, with my new DJ program, it counts the beats per minute which helps a lot when trying to mix them up.  I need to start recording my sessions because I had some real great transitions.  The problem is that I got busy talking to people and missed a few as well.

Someone did chat up me about Bonobo though.  I don't DJ lounge or ambient music.  I do mostly electronic dance and retro stuff but maybe I should expand my horizons.  I like Lemon Jelly, Thievery Corporation and Niyaz but I don't have a lot of chill music.  However, I totally lover Bonobo now and maybe I'll have to find more of him and like him.

I also did my best singing in Kareoke at the house and maybe ever.  I've had some fun performances but the songs are never that challenging.  I actually credit Wii Rock Band for helping me stretch out my vocal chords.  I believe that I pulled out a damn good-for-me Tiny Dancer last night with Ashes.  It was probably one of the best times I've had singing in recent memory.

And finally Dean attended his first concert that I can remember.  The Eclectic Bastards held their reunion in our garage.  It was a fabulous night for music...although the music may have played on too long...

anew

I woke up after roughly six hours of sleep to a sunny morning and an eager-to-walk dog.  I took Dean to Reed so he could run around (and roll in wet shit in the meantime) and I could try out their new pull up bars just off the sports field.  What a nice way to start the new year and the new decade.

I know it was almost a third of my life (so it stands that it would be momentous) but it was especially critical.  I got a dog, went vegetarian, moved, came out, found some amazing friends, discovered my vocational calling, got laser eye surgery, tried a helluva lot of new things (some stuck and some didn't) and started school again.  It's crazy how much my life and I have changed.  In 2000, I was living on my own in a small apartment in the Midwest by myself, working at Hastings Book, Music and Video and was generally lost and confused.  I didn't know what to do but I knew I wasn't happy.

I'm not sure if it is become I'm older and wiser or if it's because I'm actually in a better space.  I'd think that it's the latter because I can be incredibly immature and not too wise.  It's a good time to reflect and I'm happy to report that I'm happy.  I am definitely not where I planned to be ten years ago but I don't think that I could have foreseen this.  I'm glad it's gotten me to here and now though.

What else?
We sat inside most of the day, recovering from last night and resting up for tomorrow's party.  We watched a marathon of Three's Company.  Jack Tripper condones rape, neighbor Larry is a pimp and Janet wears pantyhouse with short shorts when she exercises.  Say what you want about the 2000s but it doesn't compare to the tragedy of the late seventies and early eighties.

I changed the blog template. Whaddya think?