epitaph

Today, at 8am, I had to decide what I want written on my tombstone.

A lot of co-workers have recently had relatives die so for some morbid reason, my boss asked a work trainer to give a training on living your life to the fullest.  He decided to make the audience participation portion be us writing out what we would want to be remembered for.

It was difficult to think about.  I know I want to be cremated.  I think I would like to have Madonna's "I'll Remember" played by orchestral music at my wake but I have never really thought about my tombstone.  This is what I came up with:

I sit beside the fire and think...

by J. R. R. Tolkien

---

I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
In summers that have been;

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall ever see.

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.

It's a song from the Fellowship of the Ring and I have loved it since I was sixteen.  I would like to have this written on my tombstone or my plaque or underneath the 20 foot golden statue of me that will be resurrected in my honor.

getting greasy

There is some bizarre vortex in the Eugene area which opposes vehicles from our house.  Today, it zapped our car when we were coming back from our second OCF work-party day.  We pulled over in Eugene at the Fred Meyer, went to leave and the starter wouldn't stop firing.

After a bit, Ashes figured out what we needed to do and came back to Victory and me all motivational, saying this was going to be a group effort.  I ended up jacking up the car, crawling underneath and unscrewing a bolt from the starter.  This shouldn't be hard but Ashes' car's starter is very difficult to get to.  We did some more work and I emerged absolutely covered in grease.  My old roomie Brian used to work in Wal-Mart's Tire Lube Express and always complained about how dirty he would get.  Today was the first time I was truly able to sympathize with his level of dirtiness.

After all of the working underneath it, it finally stopped firing...for a minute.  Ashes then pulled over, popped the hood, grabbed a crowbar and hit the thing, knocking the pin back in place so it finally stopped.  I guess a success is a success.  I complain but it was actually fun since it resulted in the thing eventually working.

working to prepare the fair

It's coming!

Last year, when we went down to the Oregon Country Fair for a work party, I was sort of at a loss for what to do.  I knew stuff needed to be done but I didn't know who to ask to get started so I just hauled bamboo for two days straight.

This year, I had more insight into how things work and I jumped right in.  I helped Tim build a bench and I spread dirt around as they rebuilt the stage.  It felt a lot more organic this year and I was a lot more comfortable.  I cannot wait for it to begin.

What else?
We had a show at Autonomy and I worked the door with a young punk kid named Eli who unintentionally made me feel older but that's not a bad thing.  I also met a cool person with an awesome accent from the UK who was thinking of moving her.  I talked to her so long that my friend BHT felt the need to come over and remind me that I'm gay.  Ha ha.

the end of 2010 pedalpalooza

Sigh.  I'm gonna miss this.  As much as it can be stressful to try to plan so many different costumes, there's nothing quite like riding alongside a crowd of other dressed-up cyclists while wearing a cape and getting applause from pedestrians.  I can't go on any rides this weekend since I will be doing OCF prep in Eugene so this is my last night to ride.

I took my Robin costume back out today after an unsuccessful attempt at other costumes earlier in the week (I didn't post about my trip down to Joanne's Fabrics on Wednesday because it was such a disaster).  I was afraid that I wouldn't be up to par with the other costumes.  However, some others just went as a generic superhero.  The tumbling guy from the Gayest Ride of the Year came as Duff Man from the Simpsons which was AWESOME.  Other than that, I really liked the old-school Rogue costume and a Maxx which I didn't get a picture of.

The ride was great.  It was very well planned out, having four stops at four different parks with a supervillian to defeat at each park.  BP was the first villian (pictured above) as they covered stuffed animals in black-dyed water and chucked them at us.  That was my favorite supervillian.  On the ride itself, I got lots of shout-outs from the crowds as I was a recognizable character.  One guy on Hawthorne yelled out, "Atta boy, Robin!  I always knew you'd make it on your own!

I love this city.

What else?
After the superhero ride, Sophia and I continued onto the Lit and Loud ride which was also the drunkest ride I have seen.  We found out the ride route wasn't long and they took a 45 minutes beer stop so we bailed early.  I will definitely be planning costumes early for next year's rides and may even organize a ride myself.

interstate bike path

Years ago, when I worked in Clackamas, my then-friend and current-housemate called me on my day off and asked if I wanted to go out to eat with him and our boss.  I was just browsing books at Powells downtown at the time so I jumped on my bike and made it to the Clackamas Town Center in 45 minutes.  I was proud of the time and it was a memorable ride but it was exhausting.

That was the last time I biked all the way into Clackamas until today.  Since that time, they have established the I-205 bike path which makes it so much easier.  I just bike all the way up Division and then head south alongside I-205.  I didn't even have to wear my helmet as I was on an exclusively bike and pedestrian path.  It's tempting to one day ride further than the Clackamas Town Center to Oregon City but I'll have to wait and do that some other day.  I was on the clock today so I had to make it quick.

I love biking anyway (duh) but I fought the urge to use a car instead because of the BP oil spill.  It's so disheartening.  I know that cars aren't the only usage of oil but if more people would walk, bike or take mass transit, then there would be less demand for oil and less drilling and destruction done.

What else?

I went to the Clinton Corner today which is caddy-corner from Nite Lite.  I bike by it all the time but today was my first time there.  It wasn't nearly as hipster as I thought it was going to be.  I will probably be going back there more often. 

stonewall uprising

I think I know a lot about radical queer history but there's always something more to learn.

Tonight, I went to a new documentary, Stonewall Uprising which is based upon the book I read a few years ago, "Stonewall" by David Carter.  It was an excellent documentary (and an excellent book) that added on to the book nicely.

It was awesome seeing it with Dominic who is also an expert on radical uprisings and has read the book.  For my new thing, we watched the film from the balcony of Cinema 21 which made the experience all the better.

walking with pride

(picture from Just Out but I'm totally using it because I'm in it.)

Since I've lived here, I have biked into Pride three times and only watched the parade once.  Today was my first time walking in it.  I was hoping for more of a solid Q Patrol presence but maybe it'll happen next year.  I was so beat today after the WNBR yesterday that I went home and crashed.  I took a 3 hour nap at 3pm, woke back up, ate and went to bed early.  It was a pitiful pride but I made it through!

 

26,000 bare butt cheeks

It's crazy that Portland's World Naked Bike Ride doubles every year.  Last year, there was around 5,500 people on the ride so I thought, there's no way they can double it this year.  But they did.  There was around 13,000 people on the ride.  That's 26,000 bare butt cheeks (of course, not everyone was bare-assed though.

As much I enjoyed the ride last year, this year was so much better!  I thought that the route was better planned, the bottle-necking in the bar crowds didn't happen (YAY!) and we spent a lot more time on the eastside.  Plus, this year I had three buddies with me.

It's difficult to write about the ride because it truly is one of those had-to-be-there moments.  Also, out of the three WNBR's that I've been on, the two that I have been completely naked for completely outshined the one I left my boxers on for so I think it's also one of those had-to-be-naked things too.  It's exhilarating, fun, crazy and liberating.  I absolutely love that I live in Portland and get to experience the biggest WNBR in the whole known universe.

What else?
After this year's ride, the four of us went to Blowpony and danced a helluva lot!  My favorite part of Blowpony was the times where they would play, "Don't Stop Believing," and all us gays would belt it out.  Props to Glee.

Who would have figured though, with over 13,000 people on the ride, I would end up on the Oregonian's website?  I'm hiding behind the pole in the third picture down.

gayest ride of the year

For the gayest ride of the year, this ride was pretty tame.  In the Pedalpalooza guide in the Mercury, they said that one of the rules for Pedalpalooza rides was not to expect a lot.  I was expecting an extravaganza for this ride because it was hyped up a lot.  It was nice.  I went on the ride with Tim and the ride stopped for a tumbling act intermission in the park.  However, I was expecting flaming gayity.  Oh well, I'm sure the World Naked Bike Ride later on tonight won't disappoint.

the weekend is here!

I haven't looked forward to a weekend this badly in ages.  Pride! World Naked Bike Ride! Blow Pony! It's just tooooo much!

I started off today early.  I was up by 5am and out of my house by 5:30am so I could get down to the PSU gym before work.  If I'm gonna be naked in front of thousands of people, I'm gonna work out first.  Then, after working out, I hit Breakfast on the Bridges on my way to work.  How awesome is Portland that people will just give you pastries for riding your bike in the morning?!

Work was okay but it couldn't get over soon enough.  Right afterward, I headed home quick to change and then meet Tim at the Pride Kick-off ride.  It was disappointing but I did get to meet some other nice people on the ride and five of us (Martin, Tim, Wyatt, Zach and I) went to Hungry Tiger Too for lunch.

All and all, it was a pleasant way to prep for what promises to be a pretty impressive weekend.

What else?
When I put on my helmet this morning, I felt a sharp pain in my left temple.  I took off the helmet to find a wasp had just fallen out.  It bit me on the side of the head.  Luckily, it didn't swell up (my head, not the wasp).

foundation work

Today was a good start.

Q Patrol, our community answer to the bashings that happened, met for the first time today.  There was a large turnout for the meetings and I'm skeptical about how many people are going to stick around, especially when we start talking tactics, but it was promising.

I really like the radical queer community in Portland right now.  It seems like there's a lot more people ready to get involved than there were back in the days of Queer Revolution.  Of course, we weren't constantly recruiting people into QR so that may have explained the lack of interest.  I'm glad to see it now anyway.

The meeting was a good intial meeting as far as initial meetings go.  It could have been more focused but then again, it could have ended up less focused so I'll just be grateful that we got anything done with the amount of diverse opinions we had there.  I'm really liking seeing some of the same people at all of these events too.  Some of the same people who were at the forum or at the self defense class were there.

I am getting tired of biking up north though.  Maybe I just need to move further north and then the ride won't be so bad.

What else?
It was also my first trip to Sock Dreams.  I do not buy new clothes as a general rule but I do go for new socks and underwear.  I could see myself spending way too much money at Sock Dreams now that I know where it is.

stood up

Grrrr.  I hate dating.  First dates are (almost always) akward.  I (almost) never look forward to them.  Today, I was supposed to have a tea date with a guy and, while I was in the bathroom before our date (painted awesomely as illustrated in the picture above), I kind of just wanted to stay in there and not go out and meet the guy.  Almost fortunately, he didn't show up anyway.

I like older guys generally but 50 is a bit old for me.  Plus he seems kind of woo-woo, all crazy into harmony and tapping into the spirit of the universe and shit.  I'm kind of over that and much more jaded.  However, this was the first time I had been stood up and I was probably more pissed about the time I waited at a coffee shop on stupid hipster Alberta and the fact that I paid for a damn bus pass to get up there.  Alright, maybe I am a little bitter about getting stood up but I just know that I am better for it.

the right to be fierce

I've been in numerous situations where I've had to turn straight for safety purposes.  I've been trotting down the street at night, see a group of dudes that I'm unsure of and I will act as butch as possible.  It's a natural defense learned by most gay men.  Either we butch up or we try to shrink away and appear invisible.  However, class tonight taught me that I have the right to be fierce.

I went to a self-defense class at the Q-Center, put on as a response to the recent attacks.  At the class, our instructor said that if a girl at a party chooses to drink a gallon of vodka, get naked and start dancing on the table, the guys at the party have a choice.  They can choose to help her, choose to ignore her or choose to take advantage of the situation and assault her.  A person has the right to be who they want to be and to make choices that may not be socially acceptable.  That doesn't mean the attacker has the right to victimize them.

Along with that, I also learned how to disarm with a stare & a simple command and how to knock an attacker down.  While the physical part was fun, I have done things very similar to that before in other self-defense classes over the years.  The difference with this class was that it was setup around helping people who are sexual minorities.  Often in other classes, we have glossed over issues that the GLBTQQ community may face and we, as GLBTQQ people, think, "Well, that's great for them but it really doesn't apply to me and my situation."  In this class today, we brought up our issues.  We had gays, lesbians, transexuals and other queer folk of various genders and races and ability status.  And we discussed all of these issues and how they affect us.  It was really empowering.

One of the people that had been attacked recently was also at the training.  This person said that the class provided a lot of reassurance, not just in the skills that they learned but also in just seeing a room full of queer people with power.

I'll admit, I was hesitant to go.  I hate having to partner up with people.  I also thought that I've had trainings before so I wasn't going to learn anything new.  I was glad that I changed my mind (due to a coin flip) and went.  Not only did I learn some awesome stuff but I also felt more a part of the community.

a daily dose of cute

With school done, I have more time at work.  I remember what this was like.  My job used to be a lot more joyful.  My plan for this summer is to make the most out of the privileges of work for me and my clients.  Today, that privilege was playing with kittens.

One of my clients really really wants to volunteer at an animal shelter.  For the longest time, her home providers have been saying that they will take her to check out a shelter for volunteering opportunities but they have yet to do so.  I had time today so I found a shelter, Animal Aid, near her house and drove her there to check the place out.

It was a big house converted to a animal shelter where cats were able to roam free (within the building) except for those with illnesses, bad tempers or kittens.  The kittens had their own room and a whole lot of fun things to play with and climb on.  The place only had a few other visitors there so my client and I had the whole kitten room to ourselves for a while.  I was in no hurry and she was in heaven so we each played with the kittens for about a half an hour.  And I got paid for it!!!  It's nice to remember just why I love this job so much!

star wars vs star trek

I love Pedalpalooza.  I was not intending to go on this ride up until about 1pm today when BikePortland twittered out the above picture of the Enterprise.  Then I quickly went to Goodwill, bought a red shirt and became an expendable.  For those of you who don't know, the Red Shirts in Star Trek are crew members who are often sent on expedition teams so somebody can die.  It's usually, "Kirk, McCoy, Spock and Ensign Ricky." Guess who's not coming back...  My name today was Ensign Zach Rafice. 

It was an awesome ride just to see everyone.  I could totally get into Sci Fi convention stuff because where else can you see Darth Vader and a Cantina Dancer living it up or members of the Star Fleet sharing a pizza while they get drunk.  Too fun!

What else?
Oh, my night didn't stop there though.  Sophia and I finished the ride which ended up at the Rock Climbing Gym on Burnside and a Bike-In Movie showing of Pee Wee's Big Adventure.  It's been far too long since I've seen that movie!

building walls

Since I have free time now, I decided to help out Autonomy tonight.  Actually, I was kind of bored and didn't know what to do with myself.

The place is coming along nicely.  It's all framed up, there's a huge stage and walls now.  I helped drywall today for the first time.  I'm sure there's tricks to the trade but it's really not as hard as you'd think building walls would be.

What else?
We went to some big Hipster bar on Burnside just east of the Plaid Pantry on MLK.  It was nice.  I still don't know the name of the place but I would head back if I knew the name of the place.

pedalpalooza 2010

With the weather being the way it is, Pedalpalooza really creeped up on me this year.  Still, even if it was going to rain, I was going to ride.  I shrinkwrapped the top of my helmet at work as a ghetto version of rain-proofing it.  However, because I went through the effort, it didn't rain.

There are so many events that I want to attend this year.  The kickoff ride is such a good way to get people excited about the two-week event.  Expect many pedalpalooza posts in the near future.

What else?
After the ride, we went to Mississippi Pizza.  If you had asked me earlier, I could have sworn I had been there but, nope, today was my first time.  While the vegan pizza with no fake cheese wasn't the best, I think I'll give the place another shot.

destination unknown

Inspired by my new-found time and my friend Jen's bike ride to the airport a few weeks ago, I decided to get on my bike and ride.  I ended up biking over 12 miles through the nether-regions of Milwaukie, OR.

I had no idea where I was going when I got on my bike this evening.  I just knew I wanted to ride.  Riding the bike typically serves a function for me but I realized yesterday that I'd love to ride more often just for the simple sake of riding.  I started out going around the Eastmoreland Golf Course and headed down Milwaukie Blvd until I got into the town of Milwaukie.

I usually don't ride park paths but I realized today I am missing out.

                                         

I ended up heading to Spring Park.  I was gonna get off my bike and walk down path toward the river and then I decided to mountain-bike it instead.  I rarely use the Mountain Bike half of hybrid.  It was a lot of fun going down unbeaten paths.  I may actually develop an interest in mountain biking.

Even though it began to rain, I decided to hang at the riverfront for a while.  I used to rely on my black hoodie to keep me dry and it used to work so I did it again today.

While I was feeling adventurous, I wasn't quite ready to bike the busy part of Milwaukie Blvd back.  About the time I realized I was biking over discarded car parts on the side of the road, I got off and onto a side road that eventually led me onto the bridge and the Springwater Corridor.

e

While I was enjoying the ride, I was getting soaked and I started to fear for my phone.  I ended up taking a detour on the corridor which led me to Johnson Creek Blvd and way outta the way.

It was a different path and just what I needed tonight.  I love being out of school and riding my bike carelessly was one of my ambitions.  At times, I can be very uncomplicated.

a taste of freedom

I took today to catch up with life and see what I've been missing for the past few months.  School's been draining me and today was all about refueling.

I ate an awesome breakfast, sold my books back to the PSU bookstore and finished up some homework, biked up to In Other Words (my new thing) where I bought a Bell Hooks book, headed back to the Red and Black to read and eat Dragon Noodles and then went thrift store shopping on Hawthorne.  I love Portland.

free time

I 

I finished my homework for what will most likely be my toughest quarter of my academic career yesterday. Go me!  To celebrate, I went shopping.  First I went to the Microcosm Publishing store for the first time.  I have plenty of items from Microcosm but I usually pick them up at events where Microcosm is tabling.  However, Henry & Glenn Forever brought me to the store.

Dominic's been sending me this little cartoons for a few days now and got me interested in a slash-type zine about musicians Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig and what could happen if they were more than just friends.  It's a cute zine for the most part.  I appreciate the effort anyway.

What else?

My phone's been crapping out on me a lot so I've been looking to get a new one.  I found out that Verizon won't get the I-Phone anytime soon so I decided to go with the Android Incredible.  I played with it for a while at the Verizon store and I was pretty impressed.  I ended up buying it but they don't have it in so I'll have to wait and be phoneless until after 6/28/10.  It's been so long since I've been phoneless.  It'll be an interesting experiment.

i love you for your TLP but i'll come back for the lack of pig

I didn't know what to do for dinner tonight until I saw this. (click me)  I love the Red and Black and I have for years.  The staff is great, the patrons are my community and the food (long live the TLP) is fabulous!  However, it's good to be reminded from time to time just why I love it.

The story in the link above is national.  It's crazy the type of thing that Portland gets publicity for but that's why I'm here.  I know a lot of people may find their actions objectionable but I'm not about to go into a Republican convention dressed in my black hoodie and mask and expect to be welcomed so why would a cop (an ARMED cop) expect to be welcomed at an Anarchist cafe.

Anyway, my new thing is seeing the performers that happened to be here tonight, Seth Martin and Sara Tone.  I was more thrilled to see the large crowd here, despite a call for a liberal boycott.  However, I really came here to show my continuing love and support...and for the Tempeh Lettuce and Pepper (TLP) sandwich.

What else?
 As soon as I saw the story about the cop, I got on my bike and headed down here, leaving my camera behind.  I also have been having problems with my phone so I couldn't take a picture.  However, being always prepared, I had my computer and used my webcam for the first time to take a picture.  I kind of liked it (the using of the webcam, not the picture itself).  I may have started something...

on the lighter side of hate

After yesterday's heavy queer forum, it was refreshing to see so much love and support this morning at a counter-protest to GodHatesFags (the Westboro Baptist Church) this morning.  They are truly evil as they made me get to northeast Portland by 7AM this morning.  Still, any day that can start off with a klingon, a monkey and Devo can't be all that bad.