the right to be fierce

I've been in numerous situations where I've had to turn straight for safety purposes.  I've been trotting down the street at night, see a group of dudes that I'm unsure of and I will act as butch as possible.  It's a natural defense learned by most gay men.  Either we butch up or we try to shrink away and appear invisible.  However, class tonight taught me that I have the right to be fierce.

I went to a self-defense class at the Q-Center, put on as a response to the recent attacks.  At the class, our instructor said that if a girl at a party chooses to drink a gallon of vodka, get naked and start dancing on the table, the guys at the party have a choice.  They can choose to help her, choose to ignore her or choose to take advantage of the situation and assault her.  A person has the right to be who they want to be and to make choices that may not be socially acceptable.  That doesn't mean the attacker has the right to victimize them.

Along with that, I also learned how to disarm with a stare & a simple command and how to knock an attacker down.  While the physical part was fun, I have done things very similar to that before in other self-defense classes over the years.  The difference with this class was that it was setup around helping people who are sexual minorities.  Often in other classes, we have glossed over issues that the GLBTQQ community may face and we, as GLBTQQ people, think, "Well, that's great for them but it really doesn't apply to me and my situation."  In this class today, we brought up our issues.  We had gays, lesbians, transexuals and other queer folk of various genders and races and ability status.  And we discussed all of these issues and how they affect us.  It was really empowering.

One of the people that had been attacked recently was also at the training.  This person said that the class provided a lot of reassurance, not just in the skills that they learned but also in just seeing a room full of queer people with power.

I'll admit, I was hesitant to go.  I hate having to partner up with people.  I also thought that I've had trainings before so I wasn't going to learn anything new.  I was glad that I changed my mind (due to a coin flip) and went.  Not only did I learn some awesome stuff but I also felt more a part of the community.