dry creek falls

It's amazing how a gorgeous waterfall can go unnoticed.  In certain areas, this would be the state attraction.  However, there is so much wonder in the Columbia River Gorge that a sight as lush as this can be overlooked.  My housemates have lived here all there lives and they've never heard of Dry Creek Falls or at least didn't recognize the name.  I hadn't heard of it until 20 minutes before Brandt came to pick me up.  It turned out to be a wonderful getaway.

Today is supposed to be the only nice day of the Memorial Day weekend.  Therefore, you know that the regular spots (anything on the Scenic Highway) are going to be crowded.  After we got back, I talked to my housemates who had tried to go on the highway but traffic was ridiculous.

On the path to Dry Creek Falls, we ran into maybe six other groups.  It was perfect for the dogs.  They had so much room to run around.  Brandt has two pit bulls which unfortunately face a lot of negative stereotypes.  It also didn't help that his girl dog barked at every female.  However, it was still a nice hike.

For people who are interested, you can click here to get directions to the falls.  Get a visitors pass from the Lorang Fine Arts building in town (down the road several blocks and on the right) if you don't have a forest pass.  We saw several cars there with $75 tickets on the windows.

What else?
The walk broke Dean though.  He is having a hard time walking about the house.  He'll recover in a few days but we'll only be taking short short walks from now on.

a play on the other desire

You would think that a play about female sexuality would be completely lost on me.  I know that the stereotype is that a gay man is really close to a female in terms of sexual needs.  However, I have no idea what goes on down there for women.  But the play I went to today at some yoga studio in Northeast was great.

Inviting Desire 2010 is a compilation of short skits written, produced and acted out by several different actresses.  I think there were seven actresses in all.  One of them work with my friend Jessica so she had an interest in going.  I went with her and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.  I think I was expecting it to be really abstract and go into the anatomical needs of the vagina.  However, it was just about sexual freedom and expression.  Actually there was a good number of gay men there.  Maybe we are a lot more similar than I previously anticipated.

the first in what will be many

Wow, it's been almost exactly a year since our last Indymedia benefit.  Tonight's benefit was moreso for Autonomy but it was organized by primarily the same people and at the same location but under new management.  I'm sure I'll be helping out with several benefits at this place but it was nice to have an inaugural benefit tonight with good friends.

It was very simple.  I DJ'ed, mLe (pictured above as the band White Teeth for the night) played and so did the Eclectic Bastards.  Then we kareoke'd.  I would normally have left a lot earlier than I did but it was fun, something I haven't really had a lot of lately.

On Thursday, I stayed at Southeast Grind for four hours in the evening working on my final paper.  I got maybe 1/3 of it done.  I was kind of beating myself up for not doing more but I'm going to chose to celebrate the progress I have made instead.  I have a long weekend ahead of me and a deadline of getting it done before next Wednesday so I can turn a rough draft in to my instructor.  I think I can do it.

It was worth it to stay at the party too.  DJ'ing was fun.  I finally got to play "Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?" during a DJ session which a surprising number of people seemed excited to hear. (Luv my friends!)  During karaoke, I sang a lot.  I can remember singing No Scrubs (again), Just Dance (again), Wannabe, Sexy Back, Kids (by MGMT with the rest of my house) and Bad Romance (which I did as a song Ashes played in between karaoke requests so it wasn't actually a karaoke song and I didn't have lyrics but I still rocked).  Anyway, a lot of fun and a good precedent to set for Autonomy.

the f word

This is my second TV post in a row.  I'll try not to make a habit of this but it's what's on my mind right now and it's more interesting (although just as delicious) as the new smoker sandwich I tried at HSG on Monday.  So here we go.

Today, I watched Glee.  That's hardly new for me.  In fact, it's the reason that I can hardly ever focus on homework on Wednesdays.  However, tonight's episode was poignant for me.  In the episode, Kurt (the gay character) gets made fun of for being his fabulous self.  He even gets threatened with bodily harm a few times.  However, another character crosses the line and uses the F word and I ain't talking about fuck.

I don't think I've written about this yet so here we go:  In 2006, my friend Dom brought it to my attention that a young band name the Punk Rock Faggots were going to play a benefit show for a radical organization in my neighborhood.  I asked them to change their name and they refused.  They said they were trying to reclaim the word although they all identified as straight.  I asked to speak to the crowd before they played, reading a statement primarily composed by Dom which stated we wouldn't put up with the N-word in the name of a band that plays at radical benefits so why are we tolerating Faggot?

Before I finished, I had a couple of dozen punks and others yelling, "Faggot" at me and telling me to go back to the gay bar.  Hell, a couple of punks from Beaverton (who later wrote to me and apologized) even held up a big sign in the balcony that spelled "FAG."  It was rough.  I wasn't afraid of physical violence because I had a crew with me but it did still hit me hard.

I still get the occasional shout-out from street punks but I don't let it get to me.  However, this episode spoke about how we as a society tolerate certain terms, mainly Faggot (but they should have mentioned Bitch too).  Wow, it made me all emotional again and here I am, writing about it, unable to focus on anything else.

Interestingly enough, I watched the episode (and then later stayed at home, pacing) instead of attending a meeting regarding the damned Westboro Baptist Church and the counter-protest of their upcoming visit.

I was also asked today by the person who used to run Bridges to Independence (who put the drag show for people with DD) to be on the advisory board for a new organization LGBTQ + DD that is just starting.  I was honored and of course accepted!

What else?
My class staged a coup against the teacher that gave me an F. (!) Actually, it wasn't that organized but we did question her on the last paper she gave us and got her to make some concessions.  I haven't heard back from the student director for our department regarding appealing my grade so I decided to be nice for now and just do the last assignment.

Also, in the same class, we discussed where we want to be in five years.  I realized the privileged situation I am in.  I know exactly where I'm going to be.  My job is secure.  I won't have any loans to pay off.  Plus my boss has told me that I can manage our ATE department as soon as the current guy retires.  Two co-workers (chatty people that work in a different department but close to my desk) got fired today too.  Word has it that they got fired for excessive gossip but that could just be a rumor. ;)  Wow, I am thankful for my stability.

Oh, and the guy at Food for Thought now knows my name.  I'm "Tofer with the french toast." ;)  There's another Topher there but he always gets oatmeal.

My new thing for the day though was eating at Alexandrya, the Mediterranean place across the street from the veggie african cart.  It was okay but I think I still like Fat Kitty Falafel better. 

the last LOST

Wow. I'm kind of stunned, happy and disappointed all at the same time.  I loved this show but I'm glad it's over.  No, they did not come close to explaining everything and left it open for a lot of interpretation but I think that they did give the fans a lot of what they wanted to see and that means something.  Although they didn't give me what I wanted to see the most (the picture above is doctored). ;)

I went to the Bagdad to watch this like I did with Battlestar Galactica.  Jesse Bastard and I waited outside the theater for close to 1 1/2 hours to get in.  Then, when we got it, we waited 15 minutes for the 2 hour pre-show to start and then the last episode was 2 1/2 hours.  That's a lot of time to devote to the show and we're both in school and have papers due.  Still, watching it this way made it more of an event.  Otherwise I think I may have been disappointed.

portland gay symphonic band

I was going to go to Blowpony tonight but I went to watch my friend play the french horn at the Portland Gay Symphonic Band which I thought would be more gay than Blowpony but it surprised me.  I enjoyed it and the company of Sophia and Tim's boyfriend.  They performed Gustav Holst's The Planets which really means nothing to me.  I enjoyed it but I'm not an aficionado of orchestral music so I can't say how it compares to other symphonies.

However, the Uranus ;) section was particularly enjoyable to be because I'm biased since it's the ruling planet of the Aquarius.  Here's what they say about it in the program:

"The mystic planet Uranus will affect the major portion of the life of those who come under the higher influence of the Aquarius...It will bring them into touch with original and unique experiences; incliniing them always toward the metaphysical...,tending to stimulate in them all the higher side of human, intellectual and finer nature.  When leaning toward the adverse and material side of this influence, persons will be eccentric, strange and erratic; but it may be that this will be induced by others who cannot understand their way of viewing things.  Sudden and unexpected events will enter into their lives...They will be very independent and unique characters, possessing a nervously organized temperament quite out of the common."

There, that's me wanting to write something but being to lazy to think.

After the symphony which I did enjoy, we went back to Sophia and Tim's for a small reception.  It was nice but it felt too intimate for me.  I ended up leaving to catch the bus home and walked home.  It was a nice, crisp night and I happened to do it in between rains.

What else?

I also caught 15 minutes of sun sitting outside the Nite Lite, waiting for Jess to show up for a drink.  I had their quesadilla for the first time too which was pretty damn good.  It's hard to screw up a quesadilla though.

pride at work

At the class I took yesterday, the professor Heidi talked about what we could do to help our clients feel more comfortable with coming to us.  One of her suggestions was to put up a signifier at work to identify ourselves as queer or queer-friendly.  I thought about putting up a safer space sign that says, "No racist, sexist, homophobic, classist, ageist or ableist language is tolerated is this space."  However, that's all a bit wordy and not all of our clients can read.  Putting a recognizable queer symbol (the rainbow as well as the triangle) makes more sense.

I'd like to think that my queerness is recognizable but I know that's not always the case.  This will hopefully help.  While my work tends to be more conservative sometimes, I think that I'll be able to get away with this.  I learned this in the school that they're paying for, after all.  Plus it's not likely that they would seek out of fire me since they are invested in my future there.  My bosses have been pushing "cultural considerations" lately and, if challenged on this, I would love the opportunity to discuss this openly with them.

What else?
The Westboro Baptist Church is coming back to Portland.  They're the "church" that runs GodHatesFags.com.  I've counter-protested them a number of times since I've been in Portland.  I've tried different tactics.  However, this time I'm going to try something different.  I wrote to the Sexual Minorities Resource Center (SMYRC) to see if I could use the WBC's latest appearance to raise funds for them.  I saw this tactic used in a youtube video and I thought it was positively inspired.

squeaky wheel

I have a problem with authority.  However, my problem isn't just a general hatred of people telling me what to do.  It's more of a problem of not being respected and listened to just because someone has authority over me.

I talked to my teacher today who gave me the F last week.  I think that sending her an e-mail in advance was a mistake because it gave her a chance to critically think about her position.  I should have just waited until class, come prepared to defend my work and taken her by surprise with my persistence.  However, she had time to think it over and strategize with her co-teacher and they had believed that the grading for this assignment was going to be a bell-curve and someone had to flunk and I was that someone.

If she had at least said, "Okay, I see your point," about one of the points I had, I would've dropped it and settled for even a higher failing grade.  However, she said she wouldn't change it so I went to the student adviser for our department and asked her about appealing the grade or dropping the course.  Dropping the course would cost me $900.  I'm stubborn so I just might do it.

What else?
In better academic news, I went hear a different professor talk about the Life Span of GLBTQQ (gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning) community.  It's interesting because you'd think that there would be a lot of similarities.  We're all human.  We grow up physically the same.  However, there is so much shit that goes on in the GLBTQQ lifespan that straight people don't have to worry about.  I've experienced a lot of it myself.  It's odd that it hasn't struck me as unfair or as an obstacle that is applied to all queer identified people.  It's really good that I took this one-time class after the other one because I actually left campus happy....

...that is, until I biked to work in the rain.  I'm used to it but my pants and items in my pocket got soaked, including my cell phone.  A co-worker had the idea of putting it in a bowl of rice to absorb the moisture.  After sitting in rice at home for several hours, it began working again.  You learn something new every day.

relaxation thru organization

My room has been in disarray since I cleaned the carpet two months ago.  I pretty much shoved everything into the garage and refused to deal with it until I got a bookshelf.  I then refused to go out and buy a new bookshelf because I had something that worked and didn't want to contribute to any more trees being chopped down.

It took a while for a shelf to stumble across my path.  Today I spotted the one in the above picture at the main store at work.  It was the perfect height and length so I got it as soon as I could.  I'm pretty damn relieved to have it out of the way.

My new thing was riding in my friend Michael's truck to get it.  I had originally rented a Zip Truck to pick it up but the Zip Truck wasn't in its spot when I had it reserved so I called Zipcar, got a lot of apologies and an offer to cancel my reservation at no charge while they also gave me an hour's worth of credit.  Everything's coming up Topher.

What else?
If you're on my twitter or facebook, you've already read this story but it was too funny.  My favorite client
"M" attended a police presentation today on public safety and volunteered to do a demonstration with them.  The cop gave M a dollar and told him to put it in his pocket.  She then told M to give it to "the robber" (her assistant) when he demanded it.  Her assistant then went up to M, held out a marker and said, "Hey you, give me your money!"

M took out the dollar, threw it on the floor, kicked it underneath the table, grabbed the guy's marker and sternly said, "That's my knife!"  I love this guy!  If I ever had doubts about how much I love my job, today was a good reminder why I stay.

i got in new avenues

When I talked about moving to Portland in Nebraska a month or so before I got here, an acquaintance remarked on how many homeless people there were.  When I got here, I started out handing out money.  I felt bad not giving change or even bills if I had them.  However, a guy harrassed me one night as I was coming home from the bars and, when I said I didn't have any cash on me, asked me to write him a check.  To prove that he needed my money, he pulled up his sleeves and showed me the gashes he had made in his arms.  Too disturbing.

Now I have the opportunity to really make a difference instead of just throwing a couple of quarters into somebody's hand.  For my internship next year, I am tentatively going to be placed at New Avenues for Youth which is a youth homeless advocacy group.  I went in for an interview today and got a tour of the facility.  I didn't know what to expect but I was very very impressed.  They do free meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), movie nights, they have laundry facilities, showers, kennels for travelers' dogs, classrooms, housing networks, computer labs and more.  I really hope I get this placement!  An added bonus is that it's right down the street from Rocco's Pizza!

hanging with my homies

The weather here has just recently turned nice so it's hard to grasp the idea that we're drawing close to summer.  I think we kind of got cheated out of a good spring.

Arturo's birthday seems like it usually happens later in the year.  However, it's today so after spending most of the day and evening doing my last stats quiz, I headed over to his house after dark for a b-day celebration.  I got out onto the roof of his garage for the first time and hung out with him and BHT for a bit before others showed up.  Damn, I love my friends and I wish I had more time to just hang out.  I'll have to make that a priority when school gets done in a few weeks.

Also, props to Justin for the picture above which is close to four years old by now.  Wow. Time flies.

What else?

Okay, this is lame but I am actually proud of myself for making progress on the Lightsaber Duels on the Wii.  I used to be really kick-ass at video games although my brother could frequently destroy me on Mortal Kombat.  I got Lightsaber Duels from one of the many Hollywood Video Stores that are going out of business.  Raven has dominated the game and unlocked most of the characters.  I stuck with it today with Master Fisto and unlocked the Plo jedi.  It's silly but it was a good source of distraction from my stats quiz and it felt good to accomplish a challenge.

paint job

I have decided that Saturdays are going to be my Autonomy days for a while until the project is closer to completetion.  Really, it's a nice break from school and it feels good to do a little manual labor.  I did a variety of jobs there today.  For a while, I pulled up underlayment from one of the rooms.  It reminded me of when I helped my friends Michael B and Jemma pull it off the floor of their house.  However, this stuff is nailed in and needs crowbars to get it up.  I only did this job for about 30 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore.

My favorite job was painting.  Not only is it light on the labor but it is also one in which you can instantenously see the results.  The people who rented the space there went a bit crazy with their "artistic expression" and made the place look ultra-shitty with graffitti.  I've always thought that colored walls look better than white walls but that was not the case here.

It's getting closer to being complete!  Yay!

the clackamas express

Today, I had to go to Clackamas and I also needed to work on my homework so I decided to do them both at the same time.  I've ridden the Green Line several times before but not from beginning (PSU) to end (Clackamas).  It only took about 40 minutes and it gave me time to eat lunch and I brought my computer.  I had some good quality time to work on my paper.  Yay for mass transit.

What else?
I got an F!  My Supported Employment teacher gave me back my strengths based assessment and failed me on it.  I did the work.  She had up partner up and my partner had a crappy assessment for me to work with.  I sent her an e-mail, basically saying that I shouldn't fail as a student.  She should fail as a teacher!  I was a little more diplomatic than that but that was my general point.  Hopefully we'll be able to work something out.

I biked from the Division MAX station to work (close to 90 blocks) in 20 minutes!  Woo-hoo!  It was definitely the highlight of my day.

the first sort-of date

Dating is so foreign to me that I had to bring my best friend on my first date today.

It's always akward.  There's always an akwardness around it.  Fortunately, Brandt (the guy I had met through okcupid) agreed to bring his dogs to Kenilworth Park today so Dean and I could meet him there and walk around.  It couldn't have been more casual for me, coming to my neighborhood park with my dog on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

It was just lovely.  He's a nice guy, a former MSW graduate from Portland with two funny dogs.  We made plans to go on a drive to for a bigger dog walk next time.  I definitely want to see him again.  It may just be that we're dog-walking buddies that that'll be just fine.

building autonomy

Like I said yesterday, my housemates are renovating the new Autonomy Hive.  It reminds me of when my parents bought our house in Wallace, NE and absolutely gutted it.  They're not leaving anything.  It was a shanty town inside before and a messy shanty town at that.  The amount of garbage in the place is unbelievable.  There's an old elevator shaft which probably has a working elevator in it but we don't know for sure because it is FILLED with garbage.  Balam dubbed it 'The Pit of Despair.'  They had a "trash room" in the back.  Behind all of the trash was a door which, until this week, had been hidden.  However, when they uncovered it, they discovered another bathroom!

I took the day off studying today to help out with the building.  I spent most of the afternoon sweeping off the roof and the deck.  I hold a grudge now against all smokers who throw their butts around.  When we get the place ready to open, I am investing in an ashtray for the deck.  I spent the evening pulling nails out of boards.

Anyway, I'm super-sore and super tired.  My hand is banged up and my legs are hurting from biking around everywhere.  Still, I'd be helping with the project everyday if it wasn't for school.  It'll be a good this summer though.

What else?
I had a beautiful morning.  I made myself an awesome scramble, got my haircut by a new and cute guy and saw two of my clients on a walk while biking.  I feel like Spring is really here.

merry old land of oz

Oh the things I'll do for friendship.  Today, I sat through a 3 1/2 hour performance of Wizard of Oz because Dominic's daughter Mo was a munchkin, a poppy and a ghost in the play.  I was in the mood to sit down and relax and be entertained for a while but after the second hour, I was ready for them to throw the damn water on the witch already.

The play was cute and the actors did an amazing job, particularly Dorothy and the Lion.  It was full of technical difficulties which probably drove the director nuts but the audience took it all in good stride.  The main problem with the play was that they used the soundtrack for the EXTENDED edition of the film with the stupid Jitterbug scene added in.  The kids sang their own songs too but, since they used the soundtrack for the music, the scarecrow had a tremendously long dance scene where the movie actor was bouncing back and forth on the fences and this kid just had to jump around the stage.  While the whole thing was a bit long, it was still worth it to support Mo.

What else?
My housemates are leasing the former Union Hall and are in the process of renovating it.  It was the venue for the last J Party and many benefits.  The name is now Autonomy Hive.  Today was my first day there since they got a hold of the place.  We have a lot of renovations to make so it'll probably be a reoccurring new thing for me.

cupidity

Yesterday I took the afternoon and finished my second statistics quiz.  It was really quite easy once I took an hour to wrap my head around it.  So I figured I had some personal time.  I decided to spend that time on OKCupid.  It's a dating website and it's kind of silly but a friend of mine just found the guy he's seeing through OKCupid so I figured it was worth a shot.

I filled out a long quiz.  There are close to 4000 questions but you don't have to answer them all.  I started out with just answering 200 and then putting in some broad definition of a guy I would be looking for.  I came up with a surprising amount of options.  One guy in particular interested me, primarily because he has cute pics of dogs in his pictures.  Anyway, I became possessed by someone a lot more ambitious than me and I asked him out.

I don't do this at all.  Dating is needlessly nerve-racking, especially when I hardly had anytime or money to spend on it all.  However, I think I'm getting more secure in just about everything so I figured there's no time like now.

Anyway, we are currently planning out a doggie play date and a walk in the park.  I figured that'd be a fun way to get to know someone.  Plus we both have dogs and a few other things in common.  Even if it turns out to be just one walk and nothing more ever, it's still worth it.

What else?
I found out I got an A on my first stats quiz.  It's a sign that I've got this down and I can take on other...tasks.

may day 2010

Happy May Day!

I took a break from school work today and went to the May Day rally and march and then to the events afterwards.  May Day's great because it brings all of these different groups together.  It's an anarchist holiday, a worker's holiday, more recently it's become an immigrant's right day and the hippies celebrate it as Beltane.  At the march, I saw people from school, work, Country Fair, Radical Faerie Land and various activist circles.  There were socialists, feminists, anarchists, liberals, radical queers, immigrants rights activists, police accountability activists, laborers and many more people, around 5000 in all, out to say, "This isn't working."

There was a big recognition of the fucked-up-ness of Arizona's racial profiling, anti-immigrant law.  Even though the message was pretty diverse in what we wanted, most people were in support of one another.  And it's always nice to march in the streets.

After the march, everyone took a little time to recuperate and then went to the Red and Black for fun times.  In the school near the R&B, there was a housing rights encampment going on.  Right2Survive, a housing advocacy group was educating people on their rights as far as squatting goes.  I attended that for a bit but it was getting cold, I didn't dress for the weather and I am fighting off being sick so I left.  I just have a minor throat irritation and I'm tired easily so I went back to the R&B.  I had my first Kombucha on tap.  It was such a good alternative to drinking because it tastes kinda nasty like beer but it's supposedly good for you.

All in all, it was a good day.  It's nice to see people out and about, including myself.