and how

Today, I put myself out there and made more of a commitment than I had previously been willing to do. Each year (well, each year for the past two years), I have gone on a beach trip on my birthday with just Dean and I. I loved it the first year. Last year wasn't so wonderful but it was still nice to have a vacation. This year, I was second-guessing going. Winter in Portland hasn't been too harsh and I haven't been compelled to escape it. Yet, I feel the need to continue with a tradition. Last year may have not been what I was expecting but to not go now would feel like I was admitting that it was never a great idea. Instead of admitting defeat, I have chosen to alter my tradition slightly and invite a significant other.

For some reason, I find it difficult as well as unnecessary to refer to Andrew as my boyfriend. We haven't had that talk and it seems silly anyway. Why does that label need to be applied? I think I understand our relationship. Maybe I'll be surprised by a great lack of understanding one of these days but I'm going to go with that I know for right now because that's where it's comfortable and also a little intriguing. With labels come expectations and possibly stability. I'll take the mystery for right now instead.

At any rate, he accepted the invitation so I guess we'll see what the future holds. Interestingly enough, I found out that he is a published author today. How did I not know that? When I went to e-mail him the invite, I saw that his e-mail address was from his own dot-com. When I went to the site, I was surprised to find that he has two books on sale on Amazon. We see each other weekly now but this getaway will provide a lot more opportunities to discover new things about each other. As much as I don't like labels and the ideas of forcing relationships, I'm looking forward to what may come.

give a girl a pony

One of my friends posted somewhere (on facebook or twitter or something) that her New Years resolution was to dance everyday. What an awesome idea.

I love love love dancing. Fortunately, I have my co-worker Erin who loves it too and we both love BlowPony. I wish there would have been more pop played tonight but I still danced like mad. Above is Erin dancing after she pulled her friend Chelsea (who I met for the first time tonight) and me on stage and then she went further and danced behind the super-hot DJ who had a handlebar mustache and a fake wolf tail (which I held).

As much fun as I knew I'd have, I'm still impressed that I went. I didn't hardly sleep last night and I spend the whole day exhausted although I couldn't nap. I ended up having a few shots of rum, a Red Bull and a veggie burger with an egg on top at home to get me through a few more hours. I'm glad I did because it's really been way too long since I've danced.

What else?
On the way to BP, I stopped at the Decentralized Dance Party which was happening in the streets. Had there not been BlowPony just a few blocks away, I may have stayed. Thank goodness for BP though because the DDP looked like a rave and got busted like one too.

running free

I took Dean to the park for the first time in a long while today. I've been worried about his legs so I pretty much have put a stop to him running off-leash. However, I drove him to Long Haus but nobody was home so we went to the park instead. I haven't seen him this happy in months. We kept it short and hopefully it won't mean he starts limping again. I love seeing him so full of joy though.

What else?
Speaking of joy, Andrew and I went back to Dove Vivi where we had the vegetable pizza for the first time. I only have had the vegan slices there before. This, like everything else there, was wonderful!

saying nothing at all

One of my clients screwed up bad last week, putting another client in jeopardy. That's one of the few things that a client could do to warrant being exited from the program. However, I have made progress with this client and I think there is hope for the client so today, I gave the client a second chance. I held a meeting with the client's whole support team including the parents. The problem is that the parents don't know part of the client's problems at work because the client specified in the client's information release that I couldn't mention this part of the problem to the parents. (Sorry for all of the vagueness but I need to vent and protect the client's privacy at the same time)

So I had to hold an entire team meeting while avoiding naming a specific and significant part of the problem but yet needing to stress the seriousness of what the client did. And I did it (and did it well). The client totally justified my second chance opportunity by starting the meeting with an apology and saying how the program has changed the client's life. It was really important for me to hear because there are times when I think that the client doesn't want to even be in the program. The client's funding agent and I both stressed the seriousness of the situation and I had to put some stipulations on the client's return to the program.

I'm sure the client's parent's thought that the stipulations were odd considering they were unknowingly missing half of the story. However, the client is an adult who receives support for the parents but they are not the guardians. Therefore, the client has the right to confidentiality. Also, the progress that we have made hinges on the client being able to trust me so I had to honor the confidentiality. Honestly, I could have gotten the client to sign the complete information release, including the part which would allow me full disclosure to the parents. However, I knew the client really didn't want the parents to know and it wasn't imperative that they did. I also could have exited the client for this latest situation or the situation which I can't discuss with the parents. However, I don't want to because the client likes the program and I think that it can really work eventually. Hell, I think it's already working. I just hate giving up. Really, if I didn't have the client, I might just get bored with my job. I enjoy the challenge and the successes. I would have to say that today's meeting was definitely a success.

What else?
Ironically, I went to Ships Ahoy after work with three co-workers to complain about work right after work. We were having our pre-accreditation tour today and yesterday. It's a bit of a farce because we clean our stuff up to a ridiculous level before the pre-tour so we make a really good impression. However, it's not an accurate reflection of our work place. What's the point in having someone come through before the accreditation process if we aren't going to show them what we're really like. Now, we have a few months to take the recommendations from these surveyors and prepare to clean up our act even further when the actual surveyors come in the spring. It feels too phoney. I don't like it. Fortunately, I still love working with the clients and therefore I still enjoy my job.

I can't remember what my new thing was on Tuesday 1/24. It's a shame because I had been doing such a good job of keeping up on the blogging.

On Wednesday, I had my first (and last) warm bubble tea. Tapioca bubbles should not be warm.

at the backfence

Laughter is too greatly underrated, at least for me. I forget how great it is to laugh uncontrollably. I get happy, I smile, I am filled with joy but I just don't laugh whole-hardheartedly often enough. Luckily, I did something about that tonight.

Sophia had got tickets to this event BackFence PDX for us tonight. Unfortunately, she ended up having other plans so she couldn't make it. Fortunately, Jennifer took her spot and Tim also joined us. Backfence is basically story-telling on stage in an every-other-month event. This time, it was held a the beautiful Portland Center Stage. It was my first time there. They had six people signed up to tell stories (I think they were ten minutes long) about a certain topic. Tonight's topic was 'I didn't think this through.' The stories couldn't be memorized, couldn't be written down, couldn't include props and had to be factual. Being funny isn't a requirement but all of tonight's stories had a funny edge to them.

I don't know how they solicited the storytellers but they did a good job of getting a mixture of different types of tales and different types of storytellers. During intermission, they also gave the audience members a chance to sign up and tell a one-minute story. I signed up but didn't get called. I'm glad I didn't but I wanted to at least try.

Overall, I really really enjoyed the event. The last storyteller almost killed me. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. I guess I'm a sucker for vomit stories.

What else?
Before the show, we went to the new Sizzle Pie location in Southeast where Rocco's used to be. I miss Rocco's.

Yesterday, my new thing was meeting Andrew's friend, Kurt. Andrew and I headed to Back Stage where we ran into Kurt and played our Battle Line game. I have to say that I'm really enjoying seeing Andrew on a weekly basis now.

adventures in brunching

Today, Victory said she wanted to try someplace new for brunch so I did a quick search and found A N D cafe. They have a small but fun vegan menu with brunch and lunch items. I was daring and ordered the Pad Thai Waffle. The stuff on top of the waffle was similar to a coleslaw with noodles and the sauce on the waffle is a peanut sauce. It was very unusual. I can't say that I liked it for brunch but it wasn't bad.

What else?
After yesterday's 8 hr class, I was a little burnt out today so I spent the day watching guilty pleasure television which was good but I'm still feeling guilty enough about the programming to not mention what it was here.

intensive learning

After I started high school, I looked back on elementary classes and wondered how I ever sat through a full day of class in the same room from the same person. When I got to college, I wondered how I ever sat through a full days worth of classes. When I found out I was going to have to sit for eight hours this quarter for an intensive class on mental health, I truly questioned my ability to do it. After having done it for the first time tonight, I eagerly anticipate my next class (even though it will be on my birthday) and I find myself wishing that more of my classes would be taught in this structure.

There's a few things that contribute to my enjoyment of the class. First off, my teacher is great. She's the only teacher so far to give me a B but I enjoy her style of teaching and I find her very knowledgeable. Next, I really enjoy talking about mental health, both the diagnosis and the treatment. Also, I like several of my classmates, both the ones that I've had in other classes and the ones that I met for the first time tonight. What really made this class for me though was the amount of comfort that we were allowed to provide for ourselves to get through it. I brought two pillows; one for my back and one for my butt. The classmate on my right brought a blanket because the teacher warned that it might get cold in the class. The classmate on my left brought several jars of food and drinks to sustain herself. If more classes could be this comfortable, I'd probably enjoy going more than I do right now.

If I had a criticism of the class, it was that there will only be three more classes during the quarter. I get the feeling that this will be one of those rare courses that I look back on with fondness.

What else?
I bought my first Megabucks ticket this evening on the hour long dinner break in class. If I win, I will quit my job but I'm pretty sure I'll finish school.

documenting the discrimination

If you follow either of my facebooks or my twitter, you should have seen this video already. If you still haven't watched it, now's your chance. I am greatly anticipating the full documentary, so much so that for the first time, I donated to it via kickstarter. Check it out. Donating to it is great but I think that it's more important just for this message to be heard.

What else?

I'm ecstatic right now because we've been teased with snow without accumulation for days now but it's finally sticking. After watching the new Glee (!!!), I walked over to the window and almost starting screaming due to the snow. Dean and I just went for a pleasant walk around the block for our first snow as Muffins. :)  

heal thyself

Today, I took a mental health day (a non-sick sick day) and focused on mental illness by reading the "DSM [diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders] Made Easy." Over the weekend, my teacher emailed out the syllabus for the intensive class which begins this Friday. It's intensive because it's going to last for eight hours on a Friday. I've considered backing out of the class, focusing on my Wednesday class and then just taking an extra class next quarter but I really like the subject matter for this class. In this class, we look at the process behind which people use the DSM to identify conditions that people have. I'm not big on labels but I do love the idea of trying to diagnose someone in hopes that you can then begin to help them.

For the first time, I looked into the DSM which brought some new diagnoses to light and I gave myself a quick diagnosis which I won't be sharing here. I just need to complete my Wednesday class which is about the intervention that is to be used once a diagnosis is given so I can help myself.

What else?
Additionally, I tried the Coconut Milk Mocha at Common Grounds for the first time. It was nice and it gave me the little kick I needed to start wading through such thick material. I will say that I normally begrudge the readings I have to do but this one really interested me. Maybe I am cut out for this work. That, combined with getting to hang out with Dean and listen to trance music in the background while it snowed slightly outside made for a pretty good sick day.

snow luck

Yesterday, Andrew and I hung out and ended up getting caught up in the snow talk, hoping with half of Portland for a good snow. The other half is probably panicked over the idea. This morning, we were pretty disappointed to see that there was only a little bit of flurries that would stop occasionally and nothing was going to stick. Still, it was nice to walk in the flurries from his place to Crema, a coffee shop that I visited for the first time. They have a fabulous pastry selection that will definitely bring me back. While there, we played some more Battle Line. I finally won some games yesterday and today.

maiden voyage

Back in November when Ashes and I hit the 24 hour fitness hot tub, we both looked at getting different swimsuits. The problem with men's swim trunks is that they bubble up in hot tubs and you either have to hold down the front so they don't fill with air or you have to let the bubbles escape which is akward and could be mistaken for farting. Victory asked me to use my credit card to order Ashes a pair for Christmas and I ordered myself a different pair as well, both from International Jock. The shorts I ordered are pictured above.

I was sort of surprised when I got the shorts and saw that there is a pouch in the front for the junk. I guess it makes sense but I was just...surprised and a tad embarrassed. However, we as a society expect women to wear skimpy and tight swim trunks which don't conceal the curves of their body so why should the guys be any different.

Today, I checked my modesty at the door and wore these shorts for the first time. Sophia's bikram yoga studio had a community class which is free so I decided to do it for the first time in 35 months. I can't say that I loved the Bikram, mainly because it was challenging, I was hungry and sweating is not fun for me. However, I do think that I looked damn fine. Not to be self-absorbed but my sweaty arms were looking sexy. :) Really, I don't think anyone was checking me out and nobody seemed put off by my shorts. And why should they be? They were practical for this purpose.

What else?
Yesterday was a easy day. At work, most of the people in my office were gone or in a meeting so I was able to listen to my music with ease and work with my shoes off. Casual Friday and all. My new thing was having the Company Sazerac at Sweet Hereafter with Ashes, Victory, Caroline, Ellie and later Jen. It wasn't too adventurous but it was nice just to hang out with friends.

the power in my hands

 It's been really cold here but really dry so I've been biking consistently. For Christmas, Ashes gave me electronic warming gloves. Today was the first day that I remembered to get them out before getting on my bike. I was expecting them to make my hands super toasty and almost sweaty by the time I got to work but instead, they just kept them...warm. I guess that's why they're not called electronic toasting gloves. Even without the electronic feature, they're still good gloves. I believe they're intended for motorcycle riding so the cuff on them is a bit longer which extends over my sleeves nicely and keeps all of the wind out. But, like car seat warmers, it's a nice luxury to be able to have the heat source.

What else?
Yesterday was the first day of class for the Winter term. Despite the rockiness of my registration process, I did manage to get into the mental health classes that I wanted. Last night was the first of them. My other class is only on four Fridays throughout the quarter but it's an eight hour class. Worse yet, it's on my birthday. Still, beggars can't be choosers (I hate that saying) so I'm just going to be content that I got into the classes. Plus, it turns out that I can count my Wednesday class as my policy elective if I write a paper about a mental health policy which won't be a problem. That means that I won't have to take an additional policy class next term!

Although I met some new people at class yesterday, I would say my new thing was going to the Sultan's Kitchen cart near PSU. It was good and they have some great looking salads so I will most likely be back there next Wednesday.

hanging out with dungeon masters

Today my new thing was going to Guardian Games. Yesterday, it was going to Portal Games. I think that I may be crossing over the threshold from slightly curious about the gaming community to becoming one of them.

I've been looking for the game Battle Line that Andrew introduced me to on Sunday. In the process, I've had to step into stores that are normally not my scene. However, I've noticed the scene has been growing around me. Several of my friends are in a relationship with experienced dungeon masters of ceremonies. That's...odd. And it's not like any of these guys that my friends are seeing were playing D&D together. It's just a coincidence that many of my friends find dungeon masters hot. :)

I don't believe that Andrew has ever played D&D or Magic the Gathering. I wouldn't mind if he did but I would be surprised. Since he's not into it, my exposure to it will probably be limited to partners of friends. I think it takes a lot of imagination, dedication and time to really invest in these games. I only have the first of these qualities. I like my games to be a little simpler and quicker. Still, it's a slippery slope.

What else?
Besides looking for Battle Line at Portal, I also headed to the PSU gym for the first time in a while. I had a great workout and even did 30+ minutes of cardio afterwards. Then I rewarded myself with a slice of Waldorf pizza at Hot Lips. I think that I will try to schedule my classes in the future on Mondays because Monday is Waldorf slice day and I love this pizza!

game day

I've really really enjoyed this resurgence of games in my life during this winter break. So far, I've learned Wizard and Phase 10 over break. Yesterday, we played Cranium and Apples to Apples. Today, Andrew and I went up to the Star-E-Rose cafe and played some cribbage. While we played, a group of jazz musicians were putting on a performance would provided great ambiance to our game. Andrew hasn't played cribbage for a long time and I recently played with my family so I pretty much destroyed him the first two games. The third game was a lot closer but I still won. My best move was when we were laying down our cards and I ended up laying the fourth ace in a row for 12 points. He doesn't enjoy losing, and more specifically getting his butt kicked, so I actually prepped him by saying, "Okay, here we go but you can't leave..." and then dropped the points. Hells yeah. (I'm a hopeless dork)

Anyway, he later showed me how to play the game Battle Lines back at his place. It's a very strategic 2-player game. I enjoyed it a lot although he won three games in a row. So I guess we're tied. After we said our goodnights, we each promised vengeance and to practice the other game.

For a while, I have had this glorified idea that the perfect way to spend a Sunday would be to be playing games in a pub or coffee shop. So for me, this was practically a perfect Sunday.

release the krakken

I liked tonight. A handful of us gathered for Destonie's birthday and played board games. As I've said before, I love board games. Combine board games with great friends and shots of Krakken (a fine dark spiced rum that I brought and tried for the first time) and you have one fine evening.

What else?

On Thursday, when I was showing the plumbers around, they wanted to see the crawl space beneath the house which meant that we had to get into the shed. The shed door hasn't been on hinges for the entirety of my stay here and probably longer. I pretty much had to undo the sliding bolt, pick the door  up and set it to the side. I found that to be a little embarrassing especially because it's such an easy fix. Today, I stopped at the hardware store quick, bought a set of hinges for under $4 and spent maybe 10 minutes fixing it. Simple! While I was at it, I fixed the front screen door quick although it's a very temporary solution. Still, it means we don't have to lift the door slightly to close it.

Yesterday, I didn't do hardly anything. I was waiting for a call to go do something and ended up just reading my new book, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and drinking elderberry tea for the first time.

plumbing out of luck

On 12/6/11, Arturo came over for a visit. We got less than sober and I started talking to him about how our bathroom sink doesn't drain properly so he said that he could probably fix it. Plumbing has always seemed like a task I shouldn't attempt, especially in the state that we were in. However, he seemed confident so we took off the s-pipe and cleaned it out. I don't think it helped at all except to prove to us that the problems were beyond simple solutions.

This weekend, our kitchen sink pipes developed a leak. That was the final straw for Sophia so she called a plumber to come over and see what we need to have done. They came over today during the day so I took care of them. While showing them around, I got to see Sophia's bathroom for the first time. Due to plumbing problems, it's not used so that's how I've lived here for six months without seeing the second bathroom. The plumbers were fine guys who seemed confident that they could fix the problem but they also seemed confident that it was going to be an extensive (and therefore expensive) job. Paying for plumbing still seems like too much of a responsible expense for me or my friends to have. Maybe that's a good indicator that I shouldn't think about buying a house anytime soon.

What else?
I forgot to mention that I bought a new book on Tuesday: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. I just want one more frivolous read before I start school next Wednesday. It's a fun and easy read so I should be able to finish it in one day.

slow to grow at work

One unnamed (until now) resolution for me was to be a better co-worker. Before my vacation, I decided that I would be better in my job. This not only means respecting (some of) my bosses a little more but also making more of an effort to get along with my co-workers. It's been hard because I know not all of them are as outraged as I am about my friend getting fired. Still, I have to realize that not all of them were nearly as close to him as I am. Therefore, it stands to reason that they wouldn't be as outraged. So I am extending an olive-branch to most of them and dedicating myself to being a better co-worker this year.

I started it off tonight by drinking two pints of stout and one vodka lemonade with them (at Slow Bar for the first time) and sharing stories of dumpster-diving.

Really, I do like the majority of my co-workers. I believe that most of them are getting paid more than me (not counting my scholarship) but I don't think that any of them are working this job for the money. For the most part, they have good hearts and are in in to help the clients. I can totally respect that and I will work to help them.

I get along with Erin the best so I surprised myself by going to a work happy hour without her (she's sick) and I'm glad I did. It gave me a chance to get to know some of my other co-workers a little better and it turns out that we have more in common than I thought. When my friend got fired, the hardest part for me was losing a constant confidant at work. I have had a hard time trusting anyone else there and letting go with them. I was glad to work on that tonight.

2.5 mile morning

I've been meaning to walk to work since moving into Muffin HQ but I wasn't able to because either I had to use my bike/car to get to another work site, I had to get home at lunch to let Dean out or I had to get to the gym right after work. Busy busy busy. However, today all of the cards fell into place for the first time. It wasn't raining, I worked out yesterday, and my co-worker left for vacation and left me in charge of the work van so I can use it to go to the other sites and let Dean out at lunch.

On the way to work, I listened to an NPR interview with Aaron Paul on playing Jesse on Breaking Bad. t was a fabulous way to start a morning and a year.

What else?
I deleted the Twitter link on the side of the page. I only ever had one person follow the blog on twitter and it didn't update correctly so I lost the one follower and just ended up getting rid of it. I'm trying a new feature instead which is signing up via e-mail to receive notifications of new posts. I'm going to try to be timely about my posts so ideally interested people could check back daily. However, if one wanted to be notified whenever I post, the e-mail link should work...hopefully. I may also be reformatting the page in the near future.

goodbye yellow brick road

I get sentimental about books that I've loved. I adored the Wicked Series (although the 3rd book wasn't that great) so it was with hesitation today that I finished the fourth and reputed last book in the series. Wicked is probably one of my favorite fantasy books ever and Son of a Witch was a very fine follow-up. Out of Oz was a good ending to it all, bringing several elements and characters from the series to a satisfying conclusion. I've been close to reading the end for almost a week now but since I started reading the book at Rain or Shine, I decided I would have to finish it there as well. Today was the first day in a while that I had time to sit back and just enjoy some quiet book and coffee time. (I also had their Cardamon Latte for the first time.) It was a nice way to end a relationship with a satisfying series and unique author.

I've read some of the other books by Gregory Macguire and I have to say that I probably won't be picking up anymore. I read two others and tried a third but they just weren't the same as the Wicked novels. However, they were written in a similar enough style so that it was really hard not to compare the story and the characters to the Wicked and thus be disappointed.

Now it's 9:22pm, I'm tired (but caught up on my blog!!! Whoo hoo!!) and I want to read a book while I try to fall asleep. I picked up Warm Bodies in September but I just can't accept a zombie love story. If you have recommendations for me, leave a comment. Maybe I'll just start reading some school books early.

What else?
I also finally caught up with Breaking Bad and finished Season 4. I can't say that it's a series for everyone but it is a very well done show. Written intelligently with awesome acting and memorable camera work.

reflecting on '11, preparing for '12

Last night, I asked Andrew if he thought it had been a good year or a bad year. He couldn't really decide and I couldn't either. There were definitely highs and lows but I will say that it was unforgettable. My move to Muffin HQ was a big change. Dating Andrew was a high. Work turning on me and my friends was a low. Hiking with Dean this summer was a high. Shingles was a low. Oregon Country Fair was a high. Dean getting injured was a low. Alaska was a high. Yeah, so it kind of balanced out.

This year so far has been awesome! Andrew and I had brunch this morning at Cricket Cafe where I ate the bagel benedict thing for the first (and probably last) time. It wasn't horrible but they have so many better things on the menu. I came back home and spent some time with Dean, Dominic and I later went for drinks and a movie, Sophia, XBox and I played a card game (Phase 10) for the first time and I finished the night with them at Zach's.

I'm prepared to make this an important year. I think that I'm going to look at this year as the year in which I evolve a little more. It may not all be good or bad but just a very notable year as 2011 was for me.