grandma psota

I just found out that my Grandma Psota died.

I got a call on Wednesday from my mom.  Grandma was in the hospital and had taken a turn for the worse.  Coincidentally, it was 14 years from the day that her husband, my grandpa had died.

Her health hasn't been good for a while and I know that she's been lonely since Grandpa has been gone.  Maybe it's because I hadn't been home for such a long time but it seems like this was more of a sudden change in her health, like it had just gotten really bad a few weeks ago.

I had the chance to say goodbye to her as my dad put the phone up to her ear.  How do you say goodbye forever to someone?  Everyone was pretty certain that she was going to die, even she was.  On Monday, she apparently said that she was ready to go.  She also stopped eating so we knew it was just a short matter of time.

My grandma was amazing.  Throughout my childhood, she was one of the major maternal influences in my life, right behind my mother.  When I was in high school, I would spend a week or two at the farm with her and Grandpa, usually just to get me out of the house during the summer.  I loved helping her out, watching soaps with her during the afternoon and eating with her and Grandpa during the evening (and then watching Wheel of Fortune).  We'd play pitch and she'd make root beer floats.

After Grandpa died, I was surprised Grandma continued as well as she did.  She lived on a farm on her own in the middle of Nebraska for over a decade.  She was an incredibly strong woman.  However, it was also apparent that she was lonely.

During the last few years of her life, Grandma's health began to deteriorate and it began apparent that living alone on the farm was no longer an option.  She moved to an assisted living home but was never really home there.  Grandma's livelihood had been the farm.

I believe that she was greatly suffering in the end so it's almost a blessing to have her at peace.  She was the matriarch of the extended family and it will never be the same with her gone.  I loved her dearly, didn't know her as well as I should have, didn't let her know me as well as she should have and I can't ever really fix that now.