the benefits of intimacy

I think that, too often, we measure life incorrectly. We determine ahead of time how an event, a story, an action, a day is supposed to go and then when it doesn't live up to those expectations, we consider it a failure.

It's an overused phrase but life is indeed what happens when we're busy making plans...and assumptions and expectations. Events and evenings can be written off as loss just because they didn't go according to plan. If everything went according to plan, it'd all be painfully predictable and monotonous. It's nice if things work out for us but it doesn't have to a total loss just because they don't.

Tonight, we had a benefit for our friends Sara and Dan. Sara used to work with Ashes and I until she, her husband Dan and their daughter moved to the heart of the Huskers, Lincoln, Nebraska. You can take the people out of Portland but you can't take Portland out of the people so, despite their new surroundings, Dan and Sara continued bicycling.

One evening, a drunken cyclist who was moving quickly without a headlamp in the dark collided head on with Dan. Dan's face smashed into the handlebars and he broke every bone in his face. He was hospitalized and had almost his entire blood supply tranfused.

Luckily, Dan's medical insurance kicked in a few days before the accident. However, complete reconstructive surgery, hospital time and loss of work has added up and presented them with big financial troubles. So we did what we do and we held a benefit for them. We've all been working on this since we found out about the accident. We used Balam's space, Circadia which is coming along very beautifully. Our neighbor, who is someone of significance at Fat Tire donated two kegs when he heard that it was for bicyclists. We also had three awesome bands drop everything to play a benefit for complete strangers to them and were spectacular in doing so!

The Goodbye Party, Naming Names and Lindsey Walker (pictured in that order above) were awesome. Each had a beautiful sound. One of them even cancelled a previously scheduled show just to play this benefit. I didn't know quite what to expect because I'm too used to punk shows but I and everyone I talked to that night was blown away by their music and energy.

What was initially disappointing was that not a lot of people showed up. We put out a LOT of publicity for this. I made a flyer, I put up flyers, we littered facebook, twitter and e-mail list serves with it. Sophia put it on biking blogs and yet, I think that I knew just about everyone there, aside from the bands. Still, I think that it was totally worth it.

Aside from time and energy, the benefit was not a loss at all. We could have made more money since we had all of the key ingredients there (beer, bands, a good space and even karaoke) but it didn't happen that way. Still we did make some money and I got to experience a great musical event in a rather intimate setting with several of my favorite friends and even some of my co-workers. I got to meet new people, smile, laugh, dance & sing and wear my pink fuzzy leopard print vest. :)

Even as anti-capitalists, I think that we sometimes judge value in monetary means. I left the show last night, thinking that it was a bust but then I had a good talk with a friend on the way home and realized the real value of the benefit. Yes, money may have been the main motivator and driving force for this benefit but nobody was in it just for the money. The bands didn't get paid, the space went into the event knowing they weren't going to make a lot of bank and the volunteers weren't looking for something to put on their resume. We all did it just because it should be done and it was. I don't have any regrets. In fact, I'd chalk this up as a wonderful success.