the fight club syndrome

Every now and then, I see a movie that really does a number on me. The first one I can remember walking out of completely dazed and unable to talk about was 'Natural Born Killers.' The second one was 'Fight Club.' After FC, I went home quickly and drank a small bottle of blackberry brandy. Tonight, I saw another movie that pretty much disabled me.

It weird because, with NBK and FC, they each hit me at the exact right time in my life to have a profound effect on me. They both pretty much marked the beginnings of beautiful friendships for me. Tonight, I saw Little Ashes and I don't think that it's necessarily hitting me at the right time but it's definetely striking a cord with me.

It's about an crazy young boy artist who befriends a writer and sort of wakes him up. They spend a lot of time together and become quite close as well as quite politically active. The potential for romance is there but then the artist leaves and remains artistic and crazy but drops the politics. He steps in and out of the writer's life from time to time, usually just for quick visits. Each time, he's changed a little. In the end, the artist gets married and is still fucking with the writer's emotions.

Yeah, the movie upset me.

I ended up walking home. I couldn't be around people who were going to discuss the movie and I needed time to think. I ended up sort of breaking down and walking up and down the same block downtown until I could get my head on right and start heading home. It's a ways to my house from Living Room Theaters but I needed a long walk. I think I need to make some changes...