rollin' on the river

 

It's been a weird couple of days. I've been getting a lot of texts from my family with varying reports of progress and there's nothing I can do about it so I have a lot of guilt. I'm headed back to Nebraska next weekend on a pre-planned trip and I'll be able to assess for myself what I can do for the family. Until then, all I can do is move along. Today, I did that on a boat.

We've had this boat ride booked for months now. I wasn't sure what to expect. I think that most of the delight for me was just being on the Portland Spirit, floating down the river. I can't believe that I've been in a city that is ruled by riverways for 13 years now and this was my very first time on a boat on the Willamette River!

The Big Gay Boat Ride was my only real Pride experience this year. We skipped the parade in order to stay home with Ava so she wouldn't be kenneled the whole day. The festivities on the boat were great. The drag performers were awesome and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were fabulous as always. I'm hoping to make this a tradition. Andrew and I also talked about possibly getting kayaks! I love that idea. Hopefully that will be another new thing in the not-too-distant future.

What else?

To catch up, on Friday, I had City State Diner make a vegetarian Reuben for me. It's not on their regular menu but it should be because it was delicious!

On Saturday, Andrew and I met friends at Bridgeport for a pre-elopement celebration. It was nice and the chocolate cherry stout was amazing although I should have stopped at just one.

mountain goating

Last night was probably my first real night of "I'm too old for this."

Andrew and I went to see the Mountain Goats which was fun. It didn't change my life but it was entertaining. The main guy was impressive, especially his solo stuff. However, during one of the songs that I was hoping they would do, Up the Wolves, I realized I was done. I hadn't had too much to drink but I started to ache and feel dizzy. My tailbone hurt. I was standing. How the hell does that happen? Anyway, we left early. I don't think I've ever skipped out early on a show that I've paid for but I just knew I couldn't last. This was also my first show with Andrew unless you could Cirque Du Solelil. I was hoping to stick it out but fortunately, he was fine with leaving when I was.

Oh well, I can say I saw them and next time, I'll just know to get there early enough to get a seat.

What else?

I don't have any excuse as to why I haven't at least kept up-to-date via twitter but on Thursday, we double-dated with our former real estate agent and his boyfriend. It was nice and I typically don't like meeting new people but I enjoyed this.

On Friday, I tried the beverage above which is as refreshing and wonderful as it looks.

Oh, and regarding Tuesday's post, I heard back! She thanked me for my rational, thought-out, and personal email and said that it's given her something to think about. Let's hear it for open communication!

conversations on the higher order

Sometimes synchronicity is quite obvious. Last night, I started reading Dan Savage's latest book, American Savage and in particular his chapter on his mother and Catholicism. That night, I dreamt about going to communion and feeling slightly guilty about it since I haven't been to church in a long time but I was given a large communion wafer. Then today, I received an email from a nun. I have a distant family member who is a nun in Chicago I believe who occasionally sends out mass emails. Usually it's about the meaning of holidays or reminders to keep disaster victims in our prayers. Every year, I get a birthday email from her. It's never personal. I don't believe that we've ever met but somehow, from some relative, she got a hold of my email address. I haven't really given any of the emails much thought until yesterday when she sent me a prayer pledge regarding the Supreme Court's decision on same sex marriage.

In the email, it states that the fight against same sex marriage is a fight for truth, for our children, and our country's future. There are times where I ignore this kind of hate because I feel that the person isn't worth appealing to or that it could damage our relationship if I challenged them. However, I don't have a real relationship with this nun and I would be interested in hearing her side and having her hear my side so I wrote back. I remained civil but was quite clear that I thought that the fight against same-sex marriage was more damaging to children than same-sex marriages could ever be. I got a little personal in it, relaying my own experiences with the church's hate but again, I kept it civil.

As of yet, I haven't heard back from her and I'm not sure that I will. But I can sleep easier knowing that I tried.

thank the gods

I don't believe that Obama is the savior and I don't agree with a good amount of his policies. Yes, it sucks to have to side with the lesser of two evils but that's what I felt I had to during this election.

I'm not as glad that Obama win as I am that Romney lost. As a feminist gay man, the ideas that he & his party were pushing made me nervous. Facebook hasn't eased my concerns, hearing friends & mostly family that supported Romney. It made me nervous.

Tonight, I rejoiced with Andrew & his friends & a good bunch of Portlanders at the Bagdad Theater. I'm also celebrating for Washington State for supporting gay marriage & Wisconsin for electing the first openly gay senator.

Yeah, the political parties suck and so do a whole lot if government policies. However, starting slightly ahead instead of 50 years back is definite progress & I'm happy for tonight. Tomorrow, I'll work towards real change.

looking forward

I've been in a rut for a bit. That's part of my excuse for not updating my blog. The rut mainly consists of school and work and the rainy weather. However, we had a semi-dry weekend, I'm skipping school this week to watch the election coverage and I got caught up on my work last Thursday so here's a blog update.

Today, I had a great day, working out in the morning, getting a latte around noon at Powells while I read the latest Walking Dead comic, walking around the hood with Arturo and eating vegan milkshakes at Dick's. I also booked the Gearharts beach house for Christmas with Andrew since I'm not going back to Nebraska until my new nephew's born in January. The beach house is what I'm going to be the light at the end of this school quarter's tunnel.

What else?
I thought about going back to update October but for the most part, my new things consisted of new foods or new experiences at my internship. Here are the exceptions and/or the things that stood out.

On Saturday, October 6th, I went to the last night of the PLGFF in which they showed Cloudburst, a lesbian road trip movie with Olympia Dukakis. I can't recommend it enough. Afterwards, Andrew and I went to the afterparty at Crush which was fun but I liked the kickoff party better.

On Sunday the 7th, I watched the Timbers game at Long Haus on a projector in the back porch which has been nicely redone. Also, I joined Bastard and MLE at Ship's Ahoy afterwards for birthday drinks and good conversation.

On Wednesday the 10th, I woke up to the sound of scratching in the drywall behind my bed.

On Thursday the 11th, I met a new guy, the exterminator named Jason.

On Friday the 12th, Xbox and I had a great conversation about the house. Also, I went to see Margaret Cho who awesome as were her opening acts. So so so funny. I also went to Bare Bones bar with Jen, Ashes and Victory and later Justin and MLE. While we were there, we saw Chris Chandler from OCF. When I stopped him to tell him how much V and I enjoyed his library show at the last fair, he sat down with us and chatted for a while.

On Saturday the 13th, Andrew and I went to Brews for New Avenues. My old internship is really good at fundraising and they almost always incorporate booze into it. :)

On Sunday the 14th, I went to the Walking Dead season premiere at the Academy with Jen. It's a series that's really meant to be seen in the theater! Andrew and I also gave Dean a bath!

On Monday the 15th, I downloaded LibreOffice, a freeware version of Micro-shaft. I like it a lot more and I won't go back.

On Saturday the 20th, I took the day to work on my first paper for the term. I finished it in good time. Sophia made vegan chili so we ate that all day and, after I finished my paper, we played a new game which ended up being a D&D game. Yes, I have crossed that threshold.

On Sunday the 21st, Andrew and I went to see Blood Simple, the Cohen Bros first movie. It was great! We also went to Pastrygirl, the bakery/coffeeshop for the first time.

On Thursday the 25th, I biked to Clackamas for work for the first time since my accident (where the top pic comes from).

On Saturday the 27th, I DJ'ed Ashes' 33rd bday party. Since it was his 33rd, it was a Jesus/religious theme. I went as Lot's Wife (a salt shaker). I was one of only four or five people in costume but I still had fun.

On Sunday the 28th, Andrew and I went bar-hopping up Belmont during the afternoon, lightly drinking and snacking while playing cards. We ended up at Hob Nob Grille for the first time where I taught Andrew how to play Backgammon...and he beat me two times. It was also the 10th anniversary of my coming out. 10 years ago, my friend Joe directly asked me if I was gay and he was the first person I said yes to.

On Halloween, I didn't do a thing except go out to eat with Andrew. I really feel that I failed Halloween this year.

On Friday the 2nd, Ashes and I walked to a client's home on NW 23rd as part of my internship. I love working in the same building with him and getting to do breaks together. It was a lovely day for a walk too!

On Saturday the 3rd, Andrew and I went to the Republic downtown where I ordered a new dish. He's never been there and I haven't been there for years. We also went to Seven Psychopaths which sucked so hard.

And that's it. I'll try to update more often and to take more pictures.

brian

 

Years ago, when I came out, I was faced with the task of telling (almost) everyone. As much as possible, I tried to gather people together to tell them so I wouldn't have to do it so many times. It's really nerve-racking. 

I tried to tell as many people in person as I could but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell Brian in person. Brian, on the far left in the picture above, was my roommate in college. I started hanging out with him and Nate (in the middle) my sophomore year. After the three of us graduated from McCook Community College, we went to the UNK where Brian and I roomed together in a variety of houses and apartments for the next four years. After that, he moved to Hastings and I stayed in Kearney. We kept in contact but we were on different paths.

When I moved to Portland, I would still talk to him here and there but it wasn't regular. When I came out to some other friends from Kearney in person, I came back to Portland and called him. I chit-chatted for a bit and then just said, "So, I'm gay." Now, I imagine it's a bit of a shock (although most people weren't that surprised) but Brian seemed speechless and then, he said, "So, do you wear women's clothing or something now?" At the time, I was a little offended that this was his understanding of gay men so I said no. However, I was wearing women's pants but not in a cross-dressing fashion. I just liked the way they fit better.  So I said, "Well, wait, I guess I am wearing women's pants." I don't know if this was too much to process for him or if he just didn't want to think about how he had just unknowingly lived for several years but I haven't heard from him since. I should say that Brian isn't a bigot at all. We had a mutual friend in college who was out and it was fine. I think I tried to call him shortly afterwards and was unsuccessful. I also sent him a letter, saying that I would like to hear from him and I never did.

It's always bothered me how he reacted and how I should have handled the situation better. He was on my mind last night because it was his birthday so I had a dream about him. In my dream, we were meeting at a restaurant. I was meeting Nate (who was totally fine with it and whom I still keep in contact with) and we found out Brian was there. His big brother (who is non-existent because Brian is the oldest in his family) was there and said that it would be okay for me to talk to Brian. We had a really good talk and he got to ask some questions, very much like I remembered Brian would have and I got the chance to explain why I hadn't told him earlier.  I woke up feeling refreshed and at ease like I finally had closure on the situation.

What else?

I knew I wanted to write this post and I knew that I wanted to use the above picture. I decided to break down and buy a scanner today. I got a Epson Perfection V500 after reading several good reviews on-line. I scanned in a lot of photos from McCook and then some from Hastings (the video store) and the Archway. It was nice looking through those old photos and sharing the memories with friends via facebook.

Yesterday, I also went to Andrew's to take care of his cat and climbed out onto the roof with her for my new thing. And I ate the BBQ sandwich at Eastside Deli. That's my new regular place.

utah'lking to me

Today I started back home and went to Utah. I have always avoided Utah. The last time I was in the state was in 2002 when I took a small vacation to explore and drive aimlessly out of Nebraska. The farthest west I got was Logan, Utah. The scenery is pretty but I never really felt comfortable here, mainly because of the Mormon predominance.

When planning my trip back, I decided to do it a little smarter than my trip to Nebraska in that I wanted to split my days up evenly so one of them didn't wipe me out and leave me pulling into my destination at 3am. I figured that Tremonton, UT was the middle point and I booked a room at the Sandman Inn there because it's dog friendly (although not as outwardly dog-friendly as the Ontario Inn).

Tremonton is a little town. I was unaware of how small it was going to be until I pulled in. Next time, I will most likely opt to stay in Ogden. However, the drive was nice and listening to various audio books helped. Tomorrow, I'll most likely just stick with the Sookie Stackhouse novels because they're entertaining and don't require a lot of thought distraction from the road.

What else?

I stopped at a little shop across from the University in Laramie. Laramie only holds one association for me and that's the Laramie Project, a heartfelt dramatic reproduction of interviews conducted with people regarding the death of Matthew Shepard. Initially, I was wary of the town but it wasn't the whole town's fault, just a few homophobes. Proudly, I wore my two unicorn/star wars shirt there.

dink's like eating out

A co-worker commented to me that I eat out really well as in, "How the hell do you afford it?" Yes, I eat out a lot and I know I don't make a lot of money, not even as much as my co-worker. However, I buy all my clothes second-hand, I don't drink to the point of having large bar tabs, I don't pay car insurance, my hobby is riding my bike (or walking my dog) and I don't have loans so yes, I treat myself well and eat out at good places. I also don't have kids so, when Andrew and I go out, we each become what marketing strategists refer at as "DINK"s. DINK stands for Double Income, No Kids. When I first joined Queer Revolution years and years ago, I researched the idea of dinks to see why companies were targeting queers for advertising and the term dink kept coming up. I don't like being a marketing target but I guess they want me. Well, the Armani Exchange can bug off because my dollars go to my appetite.

As a sink (single instead of double), I had lunch at Sushi Mazi on Division. I never dine out for sushi by myself but I needed a new thing and this was on my way back to work. It was really good, especially with the Thai iced tea. But it was a little pricey.

Later in the evening, Andrew and I went out as dinks to eat at the Caldera Public House. We've been here before but I think today is the first time I've had their eggplant sandwich and I know it's the first time I've had their chocolate martini which is now my favorite chocolate martini in town!

Afterwards, we rode to the top of Tabor to watch the sun go down. See, we'll spend a little bit to eat out but in the end, we're cheap dates.

What else?
I don't remember what my new thing was on Tuesday but on Monday, I ate a new slice of "pizza" at Pizzacato. I use the term pizza loosely because it had garbanzo beans, artichoke hearts and a spicey green sauce on it instead of actual pizza items but it was delicious!

the portland pride pups of 2012

Andrew and I attended the Pride Parade this year. It was my first year watching it with a boyfriend. I also don't think I've sat through the whole thing before. It was LONG! I realized when looking at my many pictures, I took a lot of the dogs in the parade which shouldn't surprise anyone who's read this blog for any length of time.

However, the highlight of the parade for me was getting a bear hug, pictured below and the Gay is Good contingent. Here's some non-canine pride pics:

What else?
For my thing, Andrew and I drank at the Living Room Theater which is right next to the Red Cap Garage pride block party. I felt like I should go to the block party since I knew Sharron Needles from RuPaul's drag race was going to be there but then I just couldn't bring myself to go. I was too exhausted and didn't want to deal with crowds. Misanthropy wins out.

dyi coffee

I've been working in this building for 1908 days since 1/8/07 (excluding weekends, holidays and vacations). In that time, I've frequented every coffee shop within walking distance but mostly the in-house cafeteria here. Recently, I've found the coffee to be unbearable so I've been frequenting the coffee shops around the area instead. The only benefit to the coffee here is that is only costs 84 cents. Spending anywhere from $2-4 a day on coffee really adds up so I just decided to do it myself today.

Sophia has a crazy amount of french presses at the house. She wisely picks them up whenever she sees them at garage sales. She suggested that I take one to work this weekend so today I grabbed the coffee that I've had in our freezer for months, a carton of soy creamer and the french press. We have a hot water spout here so it was really simple and really good. I was the envy of the office! If I got nothing else accomplished at work today, I would still consider today a victory!

What else?
Matt 'Matilda' Sycamore had a reading for her latest anthology today at Powells entitled, "Why Are Faggots so Afraid of Faggots?" I was initially afraid of going to the reading because I was concerned that I was flaming enough. However, the book doesn't chastise people for not being being overly femme. It just critiques the main-streaming of gay culture and the "battles" that we fight for like marriage and military service while there is still bashings going on and queer youth have to endure abuse after abuse just to wait until 'it gets better.' I'm looking forward to reading it and challenging my own perspectives.

documenting the discrimination

If you follow either of my facebooks or my twitter, you should have seen this video already. If you still haven't watched it, now's your chance. I am greatly anticipating the full documentary, so much so that for the first time, I donated to it via kickstarter. Check it out. Donating to it is great but I think that it's more important just for this message to be heard.

What else?

I'm ecstatic right now because we've been teased with snow without accumulation for days now but it's finally sticking. After watching the new Glee (!!!), I walked over to the window and almost starting screaming due to the snow. Dean and I just went for a pleasant walk around the block for our first snow as Muffins. :)  

my bad day

Sigh, today started off well enough. The Mars Hill Church had it's first mass today in my neighborhood. This church opposes queers and yoga so they're really in the wrong neighborhood and, while I'm all for freedom of religion, I don't care for someone telling me that I'm wrong in my own backyard. So, I met the protest outside the church where we listened to a lot of Rihanna really loudly. It was fun and the day proceeded to quickly go downhill from there. I guess that's what happens when you start a day picketing a church.

Sophia and I went to Circa 33 where I have always been impressed with the food but today I tried the Breakfast Bruschetta for the first time and it was almost impossible to eat. To help fill me up, I ordered a biscuit that ended up tasting more like chemicals than food. After that, I headed to Seven Corners where Corey got me a new tire. It sucked having to buy a new one but at least he had one readily available and I'm sure he gave me a good deal on it but it was still $92 that I shouldn't have had to spend. Then, while biking the tire home on my other bike, I ended up wrecking. It was like a dark cloud was hovering me today. Hopefully, my luck will change tomorrow.

What else?
The one shining bit of today that shined through all of the dark clouds was that Zachary Quinto (Sylar from Heroes and Spock in the new Star Trek) came out as a gay man. That's enough to make the dark clouds part and that angels sing in my world. Thank you Mr Quinto! You have made my day.

Also, I finished the Y series. So good but so hard to let go.

cascade aids walk 2011

 It's time again for the Cascade AIDS walk. This is my fourth year organizing it through work and, like every annual event that I enjoy, I had to amp it up a bit. I had everyone wear black again this year but I also brought matching red feather boas for the dogs. We had 12 people in the photo this year and five dogs, each wearing feather boas. It looked fierce and that's what matters. ;)

We weren't the only group that brought it though. A bunch of people were dressed as various superheroes. I didn't get pictures of all of them but one lady was a nice Mystique and a guy was a body painted Green Lantern who was only really wearing his undies. It's also just a fun, festive walk. As I annually do, I went to the diabetes walk last month and it's very tame compared to the AIDS walk. We queers really liven shit up! It was a great time and I got to meet Zilla, the lil pup pictured in the last photo. She was as big as Dean's snout. She wanted to play with him badly but I was afraid he would step on her and that would have put a damper on the day.

summary of september

Alright, I give up. I am not going to catch up by posting a whole lot of individual posts. So, rather than try to catch up or skip it (like I did with my May posts which I said I would retro-post but never got around to), I've decided to do a quick summary post. So here we go:

On Sunday, September 18th, I saw the Portland Gay Men's Chorus perform for the first time after Sophia and I watched a performance by Tim at the Portland Gay in the Square Fair thing. The GMC was beautiful but I have been watching too much Glee and I wanted them to break out into an Usher number. :)

On Monday, September 19th, I bought Warm Bodies, a zombie romance book. It's my first romance book but it's about zombies so it's okay.

On Tuesday, September 20th, I went to Country Cat Dinnerhouse. It was okay but I was hoping for more vegetarian options. Also, I had my most dreaded meeting with a transgendered clients parents who were reportedly homophobic. I have heard that they've said some pretty awful stuff at meetings before but I could see them making an effort this time and I really think they're not so bad. Transgendered issues aside, their adult child has put them through a hell of a lot and they still love her enough to have her visit and come to her meetings when they don't have to.

On Wednesday, September  21st, I walked Dean to Long Haus from Muffin HQ for a Timbers game for the first time and checked out a Zipcar to take him back. It's only about 2.5 miles but 5 miles round-trip would have been too much for him. It was cute because Ashes was playing soccer at the park on the way so I let Dean off-leash to run up to him. Dean got to him before I made it there and made Ashes wonder where the hell he came from.

On Thursday, September 22nd, my allergies came back and kicked my ass. For comfort, I turned to Mira's Ladle for the first time. It's a soup cart on Hawthorne that I've walked by a lot. I loved it and I'll definitely come back for more. Mmmmm, vegan chili.

On Saturday, September 24th, I BlowPony'd! I went dancing with Erin again and her friend, other Lindsey for the first time. Ashes, Victory and Melissa were also there. Our friend Nikki was dancing on stage (pictured in the far left above crouched down). It was so great. I LOVE dancing and nothing feels better to me. I had a few drinks but I don't think I got stupid. I was hungry by the time I left though so I grabbed a late nite snack at Zach's. I love that place. It was a great night!

On Sunday, September 25th, we had another comic book/mimosa day. I LOVE these days. Also, I tried Darling Violetta's black bean burger for the first time. It was okay but not as good as their fries.

On Monday, September 26th, I went into Clever Cycles for the first time, looking for bicycling chaps. They don't carry them but I may end up coming back sometime down the road to look for a good cargo bike in which I can haul Dean. Sophia and I also went to the Sweet Hereafter where the food is awesome and the staff is all hot, tattooed guys! Love it!

On Tuesday, September 27th, some random dudes yelled "Queer" at me on Belmont. I wasn't queered up but I think they were just using it as a slang against cyclists. Anyway, it still sucked so I indulged in vegan gelato, a mimosa and Glee to make me feel better.

On Wednesday, September 28th, I had my first class of this school year. I'm only taking one night class and it's on Social Work with Frail Older Adults. It definitely applies to the population I work with as some of the clients are over retirement age and several of them qualify as frail. The teacher seems very knowledgeable and quite funny which will be good since it's not exactly light material. Also I got my haircut at Bishops by a new person. I like to add that in so it will be easy for me to see when I got my last haircut by just doing a blog search for Bishops.

On Thursday, September 29th, I threatened to quit my job. I don't think I've done it in a serious manner like this before. I threaten to quit all of the time, like when the cafeteria goes two days in a row without having a vegetarian soup. However, this time I was serious. The co-worker who replaced my friend started asking me about one of their clients, G, who is one of my favorite people to work with. Her line of questioning led me to believe that she was building a case to exit this guy. I told her if he gets exited, I'll quit. She assured me that she wasn't considering exiting him but I still left my threat out there. At this point, school has begun again and it'll be a lot of reading. Work is overwhelming because I'm having to cover for someone on medical leave so I'm doing a lot of bathroom breaks. I'm just looking for a reason to quit but really, I can't lose anyone else I care about at work. Also, I had a date with Andrew in the evening.

On Friday, September 30th, I went to Alessio Italian Bakery which is right near Cellar Door Coffee by my work. It's cheap and I'll probably go back soon. I also had the Vegan Curry Plate at Bonfire with Jessica for the first time. Yum! I've found a reason to renew my love of Bonfire! However, my night didn't stop there. I rode NE to Alberta with Ashes and Victory in his new car and Jesse, Sophia, Ashes, Victory and I all went for a drink at the Horse's Brass which should be my neighborhood bar but I never go there.

Anyway, that's my September in a long nutshell. I use this blog as a journal for myself so I do want to keep it up but I'll try to make my posts more interesting to read in the future. Even with school starting, I need to allow myself to creatively write and not just recap my days. I'll try to do better next month

catechism cafe

August got off to a roaring start.

Lately, I've been really missing going to drag shows and I've been meaning to make it to one. Also, yesterday, Sophia and I were talking and I was hankering for a BBQ. Well, today, I got all of that and more at this month's Catechism Cafe. Sister Krissy Fiction of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence was having her 40th birthday and decided to use the party to raise money for Phame, the performing arts group for people with disabilities for which Jessica works. That's so awesome. Over $1600 for raised for Phame which is completely awesome, especially because Sister Krissy just wanted to give back and this is the first non-exclusive-LGBTQ group that the Sisters have raised money for.

The party was fun! They had a BBQ at Crush and were kind enough to make vegetarian options for Sophia and me. They had other BBQ options like macaroni salad and watermelon slices. Plus, they had vegan gelato which was nothing short of divine. As Sophia said, it was worth the price of admission just by itself. There were a few drag performances including a queen doing 'Beaver' instead of 'Fever' which was just hilarious. Also, one of the students from Phame performed several gay classics (Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Cabaret, etc) acapella. He did a great job and even came out in drag for his last number.

It was a unexpectedly fun night. I was going mainly to support Jess but I stayed because I loved it all; the drag, the food, the fun and the cause.

trans-ponder

In Copenhagen in 2006, we spent a couple of days in Copenhagen at Ungdomshuset (which translates to 'Youth House') and it was one of the most enjoyable experiences on the tour.  They were really hospitable and just rad people in general.  One evening, they had a queer movie night where they showed TransAmerica.  I had recently watched the movie at home but I enjoyed it so much more when I got to watch these punk kids sit through it without snickering or making derogatory remarks.  Instead, they just appreciated it and made me appreciate them and European punks in general.  Man, I miss Copenhagen...

Anyway, I digress.  Today, my work paid for me to attend a workshop on working with people who identify as transgendered that present with mental health issues.  I was impressed with the knowledge of the trainer who is a therapist and also identifies as transgendered and I was impressed with the thoughtfulness of the attendees.  The training did more closely resemble a long Q&A instead of a structured training but it was worthwhile (and I got paid so I can't complain). 

Still, I wish that we as a nation and as social workers were further along in this field.  Five years ago, punks in Europe were at this same level.  By now, we as a nation shouldn't have 'Gender-Identity Disorder' in the DSM as a mental health illness.  Most of today's training was around how to work with the mental health issues that present during transitioning.  What I was more interested in was looking at what happens when additional mental health or developmental disability issues that may occur on top of transitioning instead of viewing transitioning as a separate bundle of issues in itself.  I guess we're not there yet.

one of these things is not like the other

I went to a training on Measure 11 today at my internship which really got me going and I am absolutely furious.  Not only am I furious with the law but I'm furious with society, with the presenters and with myself for not speaking up during the presentation.

I'm not 100% clear on what Measure 11 encompasses but here's what I got from the training.  In 1994 or 1995, Measure 11 was passed in Oregon in order to scare people away from committing crime.  14 or 16 crimes were originally identified and labeled with stiff mandatory minimum sentences that the judges couldn't alter if a person is found guilty of them.  Other crimes were added a few years later but the original crimes consisted of things like Manslaughter, robbery, assault, rape and sodomy.  Now, I know that sodomy laws were overturned nationally by Lawrence vs Texas so I asked, "Have any of these crimes been taken off of the list since 1995?" and the answer was no.  Confused, I did a quick google search on my Droid and discovered that, yes, sodomy is illegal in Oregon according to Measure 11.

While I was doing this search and throughout the training, we discussed the differences between robbery and theft and even went so far as to demonstrate how theft becomes robbery and were told how to avoid the robbery charge.  The attendees consisted of a lot of staff from my internship but also a good handful of youth who had heard of Measure 11 but were surprised by the explained differences of robbery, assault, burglary, theft, etc.  Meanwhile, sodomy remained on this list in front of everyone along with this insidious crimes.

Walking back from the training with Dave, I expressed my confusion over the legalities of sodomy.  He stated that he remembered another staff member being confused about that and looking it up.  He said that staff member identified the key word in the billing was "non-consensual."  Um, yeah, otherwise it's rape.  Sure enough, when we got back to my internship site, I looked up Measure 11 and did more extensive digging.  All of my basic searches confirmed that sodomy was illegal.  It wasn't until I pulled up the bill and read their definitions of sodomy that I learned the truth.  Sodomy as defined by Measure 11 have three different degrees.  Sodomy in the 1st degree is sodomy with a minor under the age of 16.  Sodomy in the 2nd degree is sodomy with a minor under the age of 12.  Sodomy in the 3rd degree is non-consensual sodomy or sodomy with someone who is considered to be mentally unfit to give their consent.  So basically, they mean statutory rape or just flat-out rape.

I have a couple thoughts on their choice of wording.  First, it's homophobic.  Sodomy may have been illegal when the bill was introduced but the wording wasn't changed when it was declared legal.  I perceive this as a scare tactic by the heterosexist powers that be to 'warn' youth or the uninformed and still closeted about the horrors of the homosexual lifestyle.  Not only is it evil in the eyes of the church but also by the letter of the law.  Fuck them and fuck that.  This is why kids questioning their sexuality kill themselves.  I am so enraged all again just writing this.  Second, rape can't be applied to men.  This is our sexist society comes into play.  Rape is something that happens only to women because of the stigma attached to it, identifying women as being the ones who get victimized.  Hell, I'm surprised they don't just refer to sodomy as assault but that wouldn't carry that homophobic warning.

Anyway, I think I'm going to do something about this.  When I have time, I will make this my campaign.  Sigh, I love getting worked up about stuff like this and challenging the powers that be but, damn, I don't have the time right now!

hot dog therapy

A few months ago, I thought I needed therapy.  Actually, I've thought I needed it for a while.  Today, I got it for the price of two veggie dogs and a mimosa.  It was a pretty good deal.  Sophia provided me some good counseling today over my first new york dog.  I appreciated but envied her insight.  I think she's in the wrong profession.

justice denied anywhere diminishes justice everywhere

Last year, I heard about the problems that Airick, a queer organizer in Portland, was having with getting justice for the queer bashing that happened to him years ago.  After hearing about his problems with the legal system at the queer forum, I think the DA started to pay more attention to his case, mainly because it was put out there by a number of sources, including myself.  Later on in the year, I got to meet Airick properly as he was organizing a queer night at Autonomy.  He's a great guy and is politically and socially-conscious-wise right in line with my line of thinking.  Yesterday, his trial finally began, although it was already flawed.  Victory was there to support him but there was only a few other people by his side and they were going to all be unable to make it today so I showed up.

The trial yesterday lasted for over eight hours in which Airick was not only subjected to the incompetence/indifference of the DA's office but also to ridiculous claims by the defense, such as Airick was a member of Hells Angels or this couldn't possibly happen in Portland because Portland is too liberal.  It was an emotionally trying day and today the verdict was supposed to be given.  The jury convened to deliberate at 9am.  I was working at my internship but had a few hours that I had worked extra last week so I was able to sneak away for two hours today.  At 11am, they were still meeting and the jury for another trial was still being selected in the same courtroom.  I had to leave but I was filled with anguish until and even after Victory texted out the verdict, Not Guilty.  Airick was put through years of frustration and days of verbal and emotional torment only to come out defeated.  It was ridiculous.  For a full account, check out Victory's report back.

While it ended up being a bad verdict, I'm glad I could be there a little of the time for Airick and I'm super-appreciative that others, such as Victory, were able to be by his side throughout the entire court proceedings.  People think that it's an equal society now that we're gaining marriage rights in certain states and since we can serve in the military but it's not.  If a bashing can be let go in Portland after it was brought up to the mayor/police chief who is also gay, then we have a long way to go before we reach equality.