coming out of the dark

 

It's been a rough time for me these past couple of weeks which is why I haven't been posting (also, the holidays are crazy-busy). It's been rough due to a number of things, primarily the weather, the dark days, and my busted ribs. 

My bike accident three weeks ago ended up hurting longer and more than I had anticipated and caused me to work shorter work days. I'm very lucky to be in a workplace where that's possible. Mostly, I would have to bail after 6-7 hrs and go home and medicate with pot. What's also been hard for me is not going to the gym. I was on such a good streak before this but any lifting was discouraged by Dr Google plus it hurt when I did minor lifting at home so I skipped the gym for three weeks. But I returned today!

Over the weekend, I felt better and at the last minute today, I decided to go in and see what I could do. I didn't bench and I couldn't do my inclined sit-ups but I managed to do all of my free-weights, albeit at a lower weight. Still, I feel good for going in and this way I'll be able to get in almost two weeks before I go back to Nebraska! My new thing was bussing (and then walking) to the gym.

What else?

Most of the days, my new thing was a new work contact but I'll touch on the highlights:

On Tuesday, 12/15, my office mate brought in her baby who is about 6 months old so I couldn't help but pick him up a few times (and parade him down the hallway).

On Wednesday, 12/16, I finally finished "A Tale for the Time Being." I really need to read more books and less comic books this next year.

On Friday 12/18, I DJ'ed the work party for Ashes. This is the first year in seven years that I haven't DJ'ed the client party for GW so it felt good to have one gig. It was nice and chill and I got to get better acquainted with people that I had only met briefly before. Plus there was a pug.

On Saturday, 12/19, I went to Tim and Sophia's and we played a bunch of games. I tried Exploding Kittens and we also played 'werewolf' which I had played years ago as 'mafia.' I was originally only planning on being there for a few hours but I stayed all day because I liked the new people that I met.

On Sunday, 12/20, I spent most of the afternoon working on Hayleigh's x-mas present. I can't go into more detail because I haven't given it to her yet.

On Monday, 12/21, I tried two new-to-me dark beers at NWIPA's dark beer fest, one of which had coffee in it. I don't think I slept that night except for maybe two hours.

On Thursday, 12/24, I walked all of the way home from work which was only possible because A) we got out early for Xmas Eve, B) it wasn't raining, and C) Andrew worked from home that day so he was with Ava. It took me just over an hour which isn't too bad. Also, for dinner, we went out for Bejing Hot Pot. Neither of us had done Hot Pot before so it was quite an experience.

On Christmas Day, I got up early-ish and made coffee in the house! Since we've been living together, we have never had the capability to make coffee in the house but Andrew bought a French press the day before so I made coffee (and pot chocolate chip cookies) first thing. He got me a bathrobe, underwear, and a new vape pipe. I got him a shirt, a sweater, and rain pants. It was nice just to have an easy Christmas morning. Afterwards, when we were both high on cookie dough, we walked around Tabor with Ava. We took her into the dog park quick and she did not attack another dog! It's a Christmas Miracle!

On Saturday, 12/26, we tried to go to the new Tarantino film The Hateful Eight but it was sold out. I had to buy tickets on-line for almost a week later (New Years Eve) instead. However, we did go to the upper part of Sam's Billiards to have a drink.

On Sunday, 12/27, it snowed! Plus I went to Tim and Sophia's where we played Power Grid. It was fun but I don't have a strong inkling to play it again.

we need this laziness

At any point in my job, things could go to shit so I really have to appreciate days like today where it's easy going. After helping my customer go through crisis last week, I am perfectly happy just to go through with the same-old same-old. 

While we were walking around Tabor Saturday, high on pot cookies, Andrew was telling me about how my work stress is on a different, more personal level which he appreciates (but I think is glad he doesn't have in his job). It's nice to hear because (while maintaining confidentialities) I vent a lot about my stresses at work. Today tho, I didn't have a thing to talk about work-wise and that's a good thing. My new thing today was talking to a new VR counselor which isn't exciting but I'll take it. I'll take and enjoy it.

What else?

Yesterday, my new thing was sitting in a booth in a different part of O'Malley's bar. Again, that's just fine by me.

crisis season

When I was applying for this job as a PA, I stated that one of the reasons that I wanted to leave my job at GW and have this job is that I wanted to be help clients/customers out with all aspects of their life, not just their work skills. Well, I've got what I wished for.

I've spent the last month helping one of my more quiet customers with a crisis situation. Until yesterday afternoon, I thought it was all handled. There was a bureaucratic speed-bump or two but I thought we were in the clear. On Thursday, my new thing was supposed to be working a short day and spending the rest of the day with my new laptop. However, after I picked up the laptop and brought it home over my lunch break, my supervisor called me back into the office. Without going into details, my customer was facing homelessness because of an interpretation of wording in state guidelines. I worked quick and reserved a motel room with the company card for the customer and made a plan for a home transition the next morning. I didn't get out of the office until 6:15 which never ever happens.

Today, before I finished parking my car at work, I got a text from my supervisor to call the regional crisis person ASAP. It turns out that the med orders for my customer weren't up to code for the home we were looking into so I ended up getting on a first name basis with two different receptionists at the hospital as I sent and resent the doctor's note, trying to get everything fixed. My final problem ended up being our fax machine. I cannot believe that we still have to use these damn things. Finally, two hours after our home transfer meeting was supposed to start, I got everything lined up and we were good to go.

I won't lie. It's taken a hard toll on me. I knew that I could do it but I question the fucked-up system that makes it so hard. I know there are rules in place but I was seriously considering bringing my client back to stay in my spare bedroom because I was not going to allow my client to stay in a shelter just due to some unclear guidelines and murky med orders. Yesterday, I finished work at 6:15 and stayed in the office for an extra five minutes looking through Craigslist job ads. This is a pretty manageable job most of the time but then there are times where you realize that you have real lives that are significantly impacted by your work but it's not all hard times. After I got my customer's paperwork squared away at the house, my customer was so happy with the new place. It was a safe and friendly home which is something that my customer hasn't known for a bit. It sounds cheesy but the joy I saw on my customer's face made it all worth it.

Last year, I had my first customer transfer off my caseload and into an emergency home due to health issues right around Thanksgiving. It was the first time that the customer was ever taken care of. The hoe had a TV, a warm bed, a full fridge, and people with a sincere interest in the customer's well-being. That customer passed away after a few months but at least I know that when I was allowed to take full advantage of the state's resources, I was able to make their last few months comfortable. 

I hope that these issues don't come up more than once a year because I can't take the stress of it all but I think that I did better this time around and next year, if it happens again, I'll know a bit more and it won't be quite as stressful. At GW, I did feel that I was making a difference in the client's but at this job, I feel that I'm able to help give them a different and better life all together.

What else?

I can't tell you what the new things this last week have been. I do know I've done a new thing every day tho. On Saturday, one thing of note is that Andrew and I saw 'Room,' I have never cried so much in a movie and I can't recommend it enough. The acting, the story, the cinematography, everything was just perfect with it.

the mullet

We had our annual work party tonight which was at a new location for me, Hotel Monaco, and I had to be a panelist for the Match game that we did. I've watched enough Snatch Game on RuPaul's Drag Race so I felt that I could easily do it. There was also an awards ceremony before where every employee was given some award for something. I won the Mullet Award.

The Mullet Award wasn't actually for having a pitiful hairstyle. The mullet is symbolic of a person who is professional at work but cuts loose at home (business in the front, party in the back). It was a silly name but an accurate portrayal of how I conduct myself. I use a pseudonym which was originally intended to separate my legal name from my activist work but now I use it more to separate the personal from the professional. I'm not friends with any of my co-workers on Facebook. I have them as friends on my Instagram (which has come back to bite me in the ass) but I use the name Tophurious (my third pseudonym) because it's a public account.

Aside from just names, I also keep a distinguished line between the personal and the professional in my actions. I have only gone to one party with co-workers that wasn't work related and I have only met with my co-workers (my bosses actually) once outside of any work or party function. I like this job and I've found that when you talk to people outside of the office, you find out things that change your view and make you take off the rose-colored glasses. People might be frank in the office but they can be bitterly honest out at the bar. And I want to keep liking my job and my co-workers. That's why I maintain a metaphorical mullet.

What else?
I'm sick. Yesterday, my new thing was having the jasmine/chamomile tea at Fat Straw. 

random wednesday holiday

 

I'm never one to complain about taking a day off work but this holiday caught me by surprise. I had forgotten that we get Veteran's Day off before this month approached. I was pleasantly surprised but that also meant I had to work on Sunday to ensure everything could get done and I also didn't make plans for the day. At the last minute, I switched Ava's blood donation appointment to today so I wouldn't have to take time off work to get her there. She's been kind of a pill lately. She's been growling at Andrew randomly and on Monday she ran out of the ballpark to attack a dog who was running alongside a cyclist on Center Ave. So I was really really pleased with her today. She did a great job giving blood and ended up getting a sock monkey who I've named Lana. When I headed to the gym, I told her it was time for the kennel so she went to grab her monkey to put into her kennel with her. It was adorable.

What else?

On Monday, aside from being pissed at Ava for attacking a dog (which unfortunately isn't a new thing), I also took half the day off work to wait for the new internet provider to install our new service. Comcast jacked up the rates and CenturyLink had a good sales pitch so I went with them. I am susceptible to salesmen and shouldn't be allowed to answer the door.

On Tuesday, I met a lady through work that works at a crisis line. The day before, I had a crisis meeting with a customer and can't imagine that being my entire job. I'm glad there are people out there who can handle it.

Today, I also made new pot cookies. The dosage was a lot lower this time and I plan on giving most of them away to people. I had one this morning and it lightened my spirits a bit but I was completely functional.

workin' on the weekend

I never ever work on the weekends. I don't think that I've actually worked one in 8 or 9 years so I was due. It's always been an option at my work but never been s necessity until now. This is a short month since we have Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, & the day after Thanksgiving off. I also have a number of things coming up, both at work & at home so scheduling desk-time has been difficult so I'm here at work on a Sunday.

Working 4 hours alone on a Sunday is the equivalent to getting in a regular week of work for me. I was able just to do turn up my stereo and focus. I don't love that I had to come in but I love that I had the option & that it worked so well. I may do it again soon.

What else?

Right after my short shift, I was able to head down the street to Dig-A-Pony where a friend was playing music & met Andrew & other friends there. I definitely dig the bar & the ambiance. I'll be back!

Yesterday my new thing was drinking mimosas at the Bare Bones Cafe while killing time before meeting friends for brunch. Life is good.

asleep from day

It's been a pretty mellow couple of days with very little going on. The time change has really messed with me and made me even less ambitious than normal. I don't typically have this extreme of a reaction to the time change but now I want to eat at 5 and crawl into bed at 7. So, obviously this had led to me doing less than exciting new things.

On Sunday, we went to see Assassin, a pretty Chinese film which was either subtitled badly or was so rich in history that it wasn't going to be understood by anybody other than Chinese history buffs. Still, it was very pretty with scenery, cinematography, and costuming that I didn't mind that I really couldn't follow the story. Afterwards, we ate early so our options were limited. We went to 24th and Meatballs where I tried a porter with coffee in it that I couldn't finish.

On Monday, I met a new county person who is helping with one of my customers. I ended up not getting home until 6pm which felt like 7pm and I had no desire to do anything else.

Yesterday was the worst as far as new things go. Andrew took Ava-duty so I got a lot of stuff done at work but nothing really new. While at home, Andrew helped me with downloading a file. I wasn't sure about it so he advised me to scan it first with my virus protection software. I wasn't aware that I could select individual files to scan so I'm counting it.

Today, I'm going to be more enterprising. I won a drink off Andrew yesterday because he made a mistake in our game BattleLine so we're going to try LIKEWISE, the most recent reincarnation of the bar next to Cup and Saucer on Hawthorne. We also have plans every day this weekend which will involve new things so my posts will be more purposeful, I promise.

stand up work

After a month of family leave, I returned to work today. I've a actually been missing it. I thought that I would love the life of being a homemaker but I've been missing a sense of purpose. In the book The Outlander that I listened to on the way back to Nebraska, the narrator talked about how laziness was frowned upon in this highland castle because everyone has a stake in making their community work together. I've been feeling lazy so I'm glad could go back to doing my part.

As I was walking up to my office, I began to get nervous that things may have changed while I was gone but I was also nervous that they may not have changed. I didn't want to come back to a completely different job with different people in a different system but I'd like to think that, in a month, things would move along. My job isn't that stale.

I ended up getting just the right amount of change. I didn't lose any customers or gain any new ones and progress had been made but things didn't seem like they were out of my control. Basically, it was my old job again. However, I did get the nice new addition of a standing desk, pictured above. I marveled at it for a second and then lowered it back to a sitting position. I'm definitely going to be standing more though. I need to make some changes to my life, my job, and my routine but I don't want to completely disrupt everything.

What else?

For my last day of freedom yesterday, I took it easy. I read comics, walked Ava, and got the mixings for vegan cannabutter which will be my new thing down the road. My new thing yesterday was seeing the office of my gym buddy (or swol mate as Sophia likes to say).

progressing productivity

In interviews that I have had in the past few years, I have been asked how I organize. I've tried a few tools here and there like the Tasks in Outlook or various spreadsheets. Some stick and some don't. In getting ready to leave a week from tomorrow, I've found that I have a lot of balls in the air and needed to get them in a line by priority level and time due. I downloaded a to do list app called Do! and it seems to be just what I needed. I was able to start crossing things off and, with the help of my friend coffee, make some real progress. Yay for productivity!

too comfortable

I've stopped making excuses as to why Ava is at the office. It's Wednesday, that's why. And I am very fortunate that I have some awesome work-mates who not only tolerate her but also will seek her out and will also forgive her for any indiscretions. Today, she went into a co-worker's office while we were walking down the hall. She greets her all the time so I didn't think anything about it until I went in to check on her and saw she was alone in the office and had just eaten something. It turns out that she ate the remains of a bagel. I felt bad and apologized profusely but my co-worker just laughed it off because she's a dog-person too and an awesome person at that.

Still, as evidence above, that didn't stop Ava from begging. Andrew and I met for lunch at Pho Gia where I sat outside for the first time and had their spring rolls.

What else?

Andrew and I also tried La Bamba on Powell. I am so happy that I am adventurous because this is another place that I've dismissed but they have a vegetarian menu and it's not just meat dishes minus the meat. There are some flavorful dishes here and a well-stocked bar. I will definitely be back.

Yesterday my new thing was meeting two new dogs on our evening walk. Both were smaller than Ava and lil balls of energy. She does so well with little dogs!

keeping calm

 

The reality that I'm going to be gone from work for 4 weeks in a little more than 2 weeks is setting in and it's starting to freak me out a bit.

Yesterday, I worked over nine hours, just trying to keep my wits about me. I brought Ava into work which really helped. I've gone from pretending she's a service dog in order to get her into places to actually using her at work to keep me calm. Plus it was nice not to have to leave work over lunch to go home and walk her.

Today, I asked Andrew to do Ava-duty so I could have another day to focus on work. Now, I feel better. I think I can do this. I may have to come in on a Saturday before I leave to get everything squared away but I believe that I'm going to be alright.

What else?

On Tuesday, my new thing was presenting an topic to our whole staff at work. I talk a LOT during meetings anyway but this was the first time that I had to inform everybody about a new procedure. I'm not looking to take on a lot more roles like this but sometimes, you just have to step up.

On Wednesday, I scored at least six points muggins on Andrew in cribbage. We agreed a while ago that this would constitute a drink which I will gladly collect this weekend!

Today, I went to Happy Sparrow pictured above and got a potato and cheese kolache which was really delicious. I also went to the office of a provider at work for a client's disciplinary meeting .

a true original

 

Today was exhausting but it was all worth it.

I took Ava to work with me so we could go straight to her blood donation after work. She did a great job this time and was completely relaxed as she donated. I was so proud of her. Then, I ran her home and had 10 minutes to sit down before I had to go to the gym. After my workout, I biked home again, showered, walked Ava, then biked downtown to meet Andrew for dinner before going to PHAME's first original performance.

The play was wonderful. It's my friend Jessica's last production with them and it was a triumphant note to end on. The performances were great, the story was fun and interesting, and the music was delightful. It's so exciting and it really really makes me miss direct work with customers. Before the play and during intermission, this girl kept referring to me as "button-down shirt" and grabbed my collar at one point to see what label was on my shirt. I probably should have informed her that it's not appropriate behavior but after working at GW, I'm used to people grabbing me and I just laughed it off.

As delightful as it all was tho, I am exhausted. I need some good down-time, some me-time. I think I may have to schedule that in tho if I want it to happen.

What else?

On Sunday, I was in the mood to clean so I did a deep-cleaning of the house, even wiping down the railing of the stairs for the first time. If I had been the one to decide, I wouldn't have painted the railing white.

On Monday, I met another PA from a different brokerage as we all got together to come up with housing solutions for our customers.

On Tuesday, I met a delightful huskie-mix at Mt Tabor dog park as Ava and I hung out there for a while during the afternoon. I also talked to our new 401K rep at work. It's weird to think about retirement but I hope my retirement consists of a lot of dog parks.

our lil work park

 

A little over a year ago, my work moved offices a block and a half northwest. It's a much nicer building and it has a courtyard which is one of the things that our last building sorely lacked. However, today was my first day actually taking a break out there. Initially, it just looked like a slab of concrete with some tables that the business types in the building used. But, today I walked out there and past those tables, there is a few more tables for those of us who really don't want to be around others while we eat and read. I think I may start bringing my lunch in more often!

self-care day

In my social work graduate program, they were big on coming up with a self-care plan. This was mine.

It was a stressful week (and it's not even over yet) and I needed a day to recollect myself so I took today. I leisurely got up and made myself breakfast, watched some Supernatural, and then took Ava to the river where we sat and listened to cover songs and beach music. I didn't swim but waded in the water quite a bit. On the way back, we definitely explored new-to-me land as we tried to bushwhack our way thru a shorter path and ended up getting caught in some blackberry bramble. I gotta give the dog credit. She's always down for an adventure.

The day did it's job and it gave me perspective. I like being able to do this and I want to continue to work at a social work place that understands the need for self-care days. I also don't want to work at a place that would require me to wear pants because this damn heat still hasn't let up.

an eight-year-old's life goals

In the 2000 movie, The Kid, Bruce Willis somehow interacts with his eight year old self. I don't think I ever saw the whole movie but I remember seeing the previews at the video store I worked at and the kid gets upset with his adult self, appalled that he's a grown-up and he doesn't have a dog?!? That line and that idea has obviously sat with me for a bit. In the back of my head every now and then, I think, 'Would my eight year old self be proud of who I am?'

I realize there's a flaw in trying to constantly live up to your aspirations from when you were eight. Most eight-year-olds do not have realistic expectations of adulthood and developing your life based upon your eight-year-old self's dreams would most likely make for an emotionally stunted development. However, there's a certain charm in realizing that your eight-year-old self would see where you're at right now and say, "Heck yeah" (cuz as an eight-year-old, I wasn't about to say "Hell").

While I was at lunch today during my job, I stopped and assessed my current situation. I was wearing my Aquaman t-shirt and shorts, at lunch with my dog, eating pasta (at 24th and Meatballs for the 1st time), and reading comic books, so yeah, I think my eight-year-old self would have approved. Now, if I could just become independently wealthy and a superhero that fights crime, I will have fulfilled the dream.

*the pic isn't mine. i just thought it was cute. if it's yours and you would like me to take it down, feel free to leave a comment.

work work work, like an old dog

Ava isn't old and she doesn't know the meaning of the word 'work' but the title is an old catch-phrase of my dad's. My new things for the last few days have all been work related. On Monday, June 1st, I met the family member of one of my former clients who is going to start working with me here. On Tuesday, June 2nd, I met another person agent at a different agency who works with the roommate of one of my customers, and today, I met the baby of my office mate. She's off on maternity leave so Ava's been coming in more often, as pictured above.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, I usually experience a little bit of tension, anxiety, or boredom at work which leads me to check my Megabucks ticket from the night before. But really, this is a good job. Sometime last year, Andrew was criticizing my ownership of a car and I said that it was required for my job unless he wanted less rent money. He said that would be fine so, really, I don't need to work this job. I could find something that pays less but this job is rewarding and the atmosphere is great. I love the fact that I can bring Ava in and I haven't worn pants since the week before Memorial Day and I don't plan to put any on until maybe the evenings at Country Fair. So, I probably won't be looking for a new job soon but, as much as I do like the job, I will keep buying Megabucks tickets because a boy has got to dream.

to wal-mart for work

I loathe Wal-Mart. Our new house is within a 5 minute bike ride to Wal-Mart and today was the second time I have been there. I don't have a good excuse for the first time other than JoAnn's Fabrics on 82nd sucks and told me (incorrectly) that I could find the crafty thing I was looking for at Wal-Mart, instead of at the craft store where it should have been. However, today I had a good excuse. My office-mate is out on maternity leave and I had to meet a client of hers and that client chose to meet at the Subway in Wal-Mart. I didn't even know that Wal-Marts had Subways. Fortunately, the meeting was quick and I didn't have to be there that long.

What else?
I had two drinks coming to me; one was due to getting a 10,9,8 run in Battle Line right off the bat, and the other was due to skunking Andrew in cribbage. I collected them at the Richmond Bar which was good and strong so I was a bit tipsy. I like it better as the Richmond Bar than I did as the Matchbox but it kind of gets lost in the total face-lift of Division which happened recently. If I lived closer to the Division renovation hotspot, I would easily have a new thing every day but I would also have less money...and probably a drinking problem.

lost love in translation

Today, I had two meetings in which the primary people I was meeting with from whom I needed information did not speak English. In one of the meetings, I needed professional translation services to help them understand the complexities of divorce, custody, and the legal mumbo-jumbo. I barely understood what was in English so I can't imagine what it's like for them. Still, I feel like I got something accomplished and we're on a good path now. Go me.

However, the talk of the complications of divorce have really got me second-guessing marriage as a viable option. When marriage became legal in Oregon, I was thrilled that it was suddenly an option but I wasn't holding my breath for a marriage proposal. As I worked on the campaign and got signatures, Andrew stated that he agreed that everyone should have an equal right to debase their deepest affections by registering them with the government. We joked that he should write Hallmark cards.

Earlier this year, when I found out that I was going to have to pay over $1000 in state and federal taxes, Andrew asked if there's anything he could go. I jokingly stated that he could propose. Yes, I've dreamed of getting married but that was when I was a kid, watching Days of our Lives. Since then, I've become a lot more cynical and now look at marriage as a tool. It's not necessary for me to declare my love by registering it with the state but it would have it's benefits. One could access a lot of those benefits through individual legal means but marriage quickly gives you the right to all of it and also a tax break. But now I see how messy it can become if it doesn't go well so I'm not so sure.

What else?
I finished 100 Miles Sideways while flying back from Mexico on 4/22/15. However, now I am without a book to read and it's throwing me off. I read Unnatural Creatures by Neil Gaiman but only read some of the short stories. I highly recommend it as a vacation read though. I'm going to try Wolf in White Van by John Darnielle from the Mountain Goats. I got to say that having books on my Kindle has made them seem less substantial and therefore easier to dismiss.

the judges' panel

Throughout my career, I've had numerous experiences hiring people for jobs. Being able to make that much of a judgement on someone with a minimal amount of time to converse is odd but I think of myself as someone who can determine compatibility quickly so I opted to sit in on interviews today at my new job. One of the other agents is leaving so we're hiring for one position. I sat in with the two supervisors and the office-mate of the agent who is leaving. It had to be weird for the other agent. Not only is she interviewing for a suitable co-worker but also for someone that she is going to be sharing an office with for at least a year. That's a lot of pressure!

It was nice to see what qualities the supervisors look for and to meet such an interesting spectrum of people. I can't imagine the five interviewees that we had today enjoying the same cocktail party so it's odd to think that they all had that something that drove them to social services and then made them appealing enough on paper for us to interview.

welcome home

When I interviewed for my current job, I told the interviewers that one thing I liked about the idea of working here instead of at Goodwill was I was going to be able to meet the people I serve as a whole. Often, I would think that I had an idea of who the person was based upon how they presented themselves at work and then find out they were a completely different person in the home. Aren't we all?

I'm not a voyeur or anything but I like going into my customers' homes. I like seeing (if maybe just superficially) what they deal with everyday. Some of my customers' homes are gorgeous and the kind of place I would love to take a vacation at and others are scary if not slightly threatening. Today, I got to go to a new customer's home and it was the former.

What else?
Andrew and I went to see Big Eyes tonight. Meh.