time keeps on slipping

When I decided to come back to Nebraska, I had the momentary idea that I would put blogging on hold during my stay here because I was going back to little town Nebraska where new things would be harder to come by but then, I thought, that's kind of the point. I'll admit that my new things are often new eateries/bars/menu items/drinks so staying in a town where the dining and drinking options are much more limited (especially for a vegetarian), I knew I would have to be more creative with my new things. We've kind of had an agenda for the past week: getting adjusted, visiting Grandma, my sister and her kids visiting, going to the bridges, and visiting the new baby. Yesterday was our first lull in activity with no real plans on the near horizon. Today was even moreso with my parents both working all day out of town so I was here with Ava.

I thought about heading to town to get some routine maintenance on my car or driving to a spot where Ava and I could go on a long hike but we've been driving every day. So instead, I ate half a THC caramel and chilled at the house, watching Orange is the New Black, sorting through my 1000+ iPhone pics, making lunch, doing dishes, laundry, etc. My new thing was walking down some different streets with Ava. I've pretty much explored a different route every day but that will only get me so far. After a while, one runs out of streets and the new things become something that you have to actively work towards.

In cleaning up my iPhone pics, I came across this excerpt that I took out of the Shell Collector by Hugh Howey. When I read it months ago, it resonated with me and this blog. This is why I'm determined to keep on doing new things. Not only do I want to sample so much of what life has to offer but I also just want to slow it all down. When I reflect back on my vacation here in Nebraska, yesterday and today (and probably tomorrow) will all blend together and be categorized as "and then I just chilled," but I like telling stories to friends and family and I want to be able to tell them something fresh all the time which is why I've got to keep doing new things. Keep it fresh...yo.

why i bike naked

 

I've had body issues for a while. Actually, I've pretty much always had body issues: too pale, too hairy, too fat in the gut, too skinny in the arms, etc.  I've gone in and out of cycles of what I don't like about my body but there's almost always something. I can think of very few times in my life where I've said that I'm happy with how I look. But that's the aim of the mass media and their advertisers, right? We're not supposed to feel happy with how we look. We're supposed to feel unsatisfied and willing to make purchases to either make ourselves look better or at least feel better.

Within the last several months, I've put on about 10 lbs. I could say that it's muscle but I know I'd just be lying to myself. I blame the car and Ava for needing me to use to the car to get home on my lunch and let her out daily. I blame my apathy and pizza and my relationship for being so comfortable and stable that it's made me lazy and complacent about how I look. I'm glad I don't have to try to impress others to attract them in hopes of finding a mate but I do want to feel better about myself so I bike naked.

Last year, after the World Naked Bike Ride, a friend of mine said that he would have gone but he's been having some body issues. And he's in great shape! I told him that the ride is the best way to help you with body issues and I had to remind myself of that recently in preparation for going on the ride. On the WNBR, you see people of all genders, ages and body types with varying levels of mobility get out there, strip off their clothes (to whatever degree they feel comfortable) and say, "This is who I am!" I saw people heavier than I am, with less muscle than I have. I saw bears hairier than I am. I saw kids and the elderly. And I saw joy and pride in them all. I quickly stopped comparing myself to others and just enjoyed the moment. If they can all be proud of their unique bodies, why can't I? 

Yes, there were some people that looked like Abercrombie models but there was many many more people who did not. And I found most of those people to be attractive because confidence is sexy. It should also be noted that I do not find Abercrombie models to be sexy. I like my fellas older and fuzzier. :)

It was a great ride. The spirits were high and the route was easy. I do wish we hadn't taken Division St but it ended up being okay. Jesse and I were ride buddies so I wasn't alone. The ride ended on the waterfront but we saw people still going back up Salmon and decided to join them. They tapered off here and there and then, around Salmon and 35th, we lost most of them. We rode for a few more blocks and Jesse turned around to go home. I pulled over on the corner of Taylor and Caesar Chavez to get my clothes back on but a naked couple biked up behind me, talking about riding the same way I was going so I biked naked in front of them. They turned away on 50th and Lincoln so I rode just two blocks to 52nd naked on my own before I pulled over to put some clothes on.

Normally, as soon as I've left the ride, I usually put on underwear at least if not get fully dressed but it was hot and I was comfortable naked which is a pretty awesome state to be in.

starting my solitary stint

Right now, two of my best friends are working security for my favorite party in town on it's best night of the year and I could get in free.  Right now, thousands of people are biking naked in what was one of my favorite moments from last year.  I'm stuck in my house because my body has turned against me.

I don't think I've ever had a real disease before.  I think I had walking pneumonia once before but that's fairly common.  Plus it really puts you down and out.  Shingles doesn't really incapacitate me but it is more contagious and more rare.  Therefore, I've decided to seclude myself.

Sophia went away for the weekend and half of next week.  When she told me months ago that she had booked this trip, I said, 'Damn, you won't be around for WNBR but Hot Damn, I'll have the house to myself for pride weekend.  This isn't how I thought I'd spend it.  Still, it turns out that it's a good thing she's gone.  I'm not in a place physically where I can be really social.  I'm trying not to think about my aching side which has meant either distracting myself from reality through a low dosage of oxycotin or watching the fourth season of Six Feet Under.

Since she's gone and I don't run the risk of getting anyone else sick while I'm in the house, I'm just going to stay here.  I'll e-mail my boss in the morning and tell her I'm at least not coming in on Monday but possibly not on Tuesday or Wednesday either.  The doctor didn't say I had to stay home but I do have a contagious disease.  I don't know at work who has or hasn't had chicken pox before.  I also don't know who's pregnant or who has HIV.  I don't want to be the plague dog that infects the whole office.  I don't even want to be responsible for one more person getting sick.  Plus, I'm in pain and a lack of movement definitely agrees with me right now.

Rather than wallow though, I think I'll try to use the time to write or read when I have the energy.  When not, I'll watch movies but I did take today and catch up on this blog.  I also went back and wrote some entries for May, catching up the 18th (entitled gimme shelter) thru the 24th (entitled avoiding the office water cooler).  Feel free to check it out if you're so inclined.  I don't know how many people if any would but it's okay.  It's really just for my referencing anyway.  Plus, it's helping to look back at May because it really was a fun and exciting month for me.  I need to know that I did just have a good time to prepare me for the days of solitude awaiting me.

Who knows though?  I haven't had a significant time away from it all since my birthday and I'm able to basically just chill out in the comfort of my home now so it may not be so bad.  Like I said, I'm not incapacitated so I may be able to get some stuff done around here that I've been putting off for the last few weeks.  Eh, we'll see what it brings.

What else?
I had the Super Falafel today at the Mediterranean cart nearby.  My new things will most likely not be fascinating for the next several entries so I may just exclude them all together and allow myself just to write.  Hope that's okay.