halloween 2011

I love this day. I love wearing costumes and today, it's not only not unusual but it's also expected. However, I still love to be exceptionally flashy. I was a protest fairy today. I had to be a fairy because that was the themed costume that my co-workers (pictured in the first photo) and I chose. However, I didn't want to be just an ordinary fairy so I made up a sign with marker and glitter that said, "Occupy Never Never Land" on one side and "Fairy Pay for Fairy Work" on the other. Plus, a dog is a great accessory so I put Dean's wings on him and we went for a fairy walk down Hawthorne.

My new thing today was attending the clients' Halloween party. Last year, I told the bosses before Halloween that I didn't want to have the clients paraded through the offices in costume on Halloween. We always tell people not to refer to them as children or treat them like children but the Halloween parade was very childish. Instead, we threw a party. I was at my internship last year on Halloween so this was my first work Halloween party.

It should have been better organized. To say that there is discomfort at my work right now would be an understatement. This has led to a "Can't someone else do it?" attitude which allows for a lot of projects to fall apart. I was concerned that the party today was going to be one of them but we all stepped up and made it a successful party which was pleasantly surprising.

What else?
In years past, we've walked with Raven as he's gone Trick or Treating. This year, he decided that he and his friends wanted to go it alone so we hung back at the coffee shop in Ladd's Circle while they went out. Sigh, I'm going to miss Trick or Treating. I need to either make it a point to head to Seattle on Halloween in the future or make more friends with parents of younger kids.

my great pumpkin

 

Out of all of the holidays, I gotta say that Halloween is my favorite. Still, I can't say when the last time was that I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. Sophia and I decided to get more festive today so we went to the store, bought pumpkins, carving kits, party snacks, and beer and invited people over to celebrate with us. It's the first party-like gathering we have had at the house since I moved in last June.

It was a light, easy-going evening with music, Apples to Apples, and good friends. Only Sophia's man X-box (that's his nickname) and I carved pumpkins. I chose to do Guy Fawkes. I'm so terribly proud of the pumpkin. It's by far my best. I didn't do so well at Apples to Apples but I had a lot of fun.

What else?

I got my Halloween costume together this morning too. I went to Classic Collections on Hawthorne an bought a new blue hat. I then biked to Sock Dreams in Sellwood and bought some blue striped socks. Afterwards, I ate at the Blue Kangaroo coffee shop for the first time. Finally, I found a blue suit at the Woodstock Goodwill and some glitter at Fred Meyer. I always think that I'll get this costume thing done earlier in the year but it never happens. I'm going to say here and now that I will have next year's ready earlier!

honey badger don't give a sh*t

I love Halloween but I haven't really gotten in the mood yet until today. I known that I was going to be a fairy for work since all of us case managers are going to be fairies but that's really all of the planning I have done. Tonight I went to my co-worker's house party (for the first time) where another co-worker was dressed up like a honey badger (in the middle of the picture above). The creativity of the costumes was inspiring and gave me the push I needed to get in the spirit. I went as a rancher, wearing a western shirt, brown pants, a straw hat (impractical for a rancher) and my grandpa's coat. I'll definitely be more festive on Halloween. Due to my late night with Andrew last night, I turned into a pumpkin early though and left the party after only an hour or so. I may be festive but I'm still not overtly social.

motivation for change

At my work, we have annual meetings with each client and their team to review their progress for the past year and make goals for the next year. I've done so many of these meetings that it's ridiculous but I've never really felt that they were that effective. It's similar to my evaluation at work. The day to day criticism means more to me than a 30 minute summary of how my bosses think I've been doing. Normally, I conduct these annual meetings in a very formulaic manner. I care what the clients think and I almost always focus on their successes. However, it's still my evaluation of them and my plan for their future. Sometimes that works because the client simply does not know that the next step is and needs the reinforcement. However, most of the time I feel that I'm being condescending.

When we did our motivational interviewing exercise in yesterday's class, I initially believed that this form of intervention wouldn't work for my clients because of the high suggestibility among people with developmental disabilities and also the lack of self-determination. But that is even more of a reason to use it. During class, I kept thinking about the meeting I had scheduled today for my most challenging client. This client has had competitive jobs in the past but has failed at them because he lacks ambition and focus. I can relate. Anyway, I was going to go into the meeting today with a set of goals that I had constructed for him at the request of his supervisor. One goal was to only use the bathroom once between breaks because this guy will spend more than half of his day in the bathroom using his cellphone or just avoiding work. Given this client's potential, I knew that this goal would upset him and I was having a hard time justifying it.

First thing this morning, I took my list of motivational interviewing questions to this guy's work site and began to interview him. I didn't offer up any criticism or suggestions. I simply asked questions like, "What do you feel you need to be working on in this program?" "Why do you want to change this aspect of your vocational training?" "How important is it to you to change?" "What are the top three reasons for change?" Basically, he came up with a short list of issues that he sees he has and potential ways to turn them around. It was WONDERFUL! This was by far the best meeting we have ever had and he opened up about some light personal stuff and we found common ground.

It's nice to know that school isn't just about getting a piece of paper or three letters behind my name. I give my professor a lot of credit for making these concepts into interventions we can work into our practice. I know that motivational interviewing won't work for all of my clients but it is so simple that I think I will most likely try it with everyone and I told my boss that I want to train all of my co-workers on it!

What else?
Andrew and I went to Apizza Scholls tonight and split a pizza there. We had the New York White with half red and half white sauce. It was good but not as good as the Tartufo Bianco. 

moving past first impressions

They say that you never have a second chance to make a first impression. That's true but people should also never make decisions based upon first impressions. When I initially meet people, I am usually shy and awkward if not just rude. If some of my friends had made their final decision of me based upon my first impression, I'm sure I'd had a lot less friends now.

In my class, there's a guy who always ALWAYS shows up late. Initially, I thought of him as lazy and/or irresponsible because he was late. He was then late to the next few classes as well and by now we have all just come to expect it. However, I did a motivational interviewing exercise with him today and got to talk to him for the first time. We did this exercise in regards to his tardiness and why he wanted to change that aspect of his character. It was cool because I got to really understand where he was coming from, he got to come to his own understanding about why he is always tardy and I got to change my perspective about him. I doubt we'll be hanging out but it's cool that I am at least not jumping to judgements about him.

In other renewed opportunity news, I gave Hungry Tiger Too another chance today. Sophia and I had been offended by their veggie Reuben a while back and then they gave us an animal leg in our tofu basket months ago. I heard that they rearranged their kitchen so I decided to let bygones be bygones and give them another chance. I had an awesome tofu veggie scramble and biscuits and gravy. I'm glad I came back.

What else?
I had to take a client on a community business tour today so we went Kruger's farmstand market and to the Flying Fish Co. where I bought some good organic eggs.

jessica's birthday

I'm very bad at staying in touch with people. I blame facebook for a lot of that because it makes me lazy. The fact that I see someone's status every other day leaves me with the impression that we are still in touch. However, I don't write a long letter to them anymore and I don't call people and have long conversations. And everyone that I knew from a while ago is back in Nebraska so I don't hang out with them regularly. Jessica is the exception.

Of all of the people that I knew from my college days, Jessica is the one person that I talk to regularly. I love all of my friends that I've met in Portland but it's nice to have someone that knows a different side of me. Hell, most of my friends from here only met me after I was out. Jessica was the first person that knew me from before Portland that I came out to. I love hanging out with her once every other week or so and just catching up or reminiscing or whatever.

Tonight was her birthday and to celebrate it, I met her and her friends at the Slingshot Lounge in felony flats where they let a cat run free throughout the bar. It was cool to see her in her element with her Portland friends and then a few of us from Kearney. I think I may have to try to get together with her and our friend Shawn who we never see even though he moved up here years ago, and catch up just to stay in touch.

mr whiskers

After the excitement of ZomBcon, we took today to hang out with friends and chill in Seattle. We all went to Highline, a vegan bar on Capitol Hill where they were playing the 80's movie Ghoulies at 11am. Then we went to Espresso Vivace. I also found some big blue fairy wings for Halloween at Metro. However, the best part of the day was waking up at Josie's and spending time with little Mr Whiskers (Ian) while drinking mimosas with Josie, Michael, Jennifer, and Jesse. I love kids, especially around 18 months. Mr Whiskers is in a cute 'monkey see, monkey do' phase where he'd repeat a lot of what I said. He was also petting one of the cats a lot and, when I went to pet it, it lashed out at me. It just got me with one claw but I said Ow and waved my hand around. Mr Whiskers then dropped a plastic toy grasshopper on his hand and repeated Ow while he waved his hands about.  Too precious!

zomBcon 2011

 

Despite my self-proclaimed fanboy/dork status, I have to say that ZomBcon today was my first convention ever. It was interesting and I even had a moment I got all starstruck by Sam Trammell who plays Sam Merlotte on True Blood. He is sexy as all hell and I got to find out that he's also a pretty decent guy too, judging by how he appeared in his panel. My favorite part was when someone asked him about the dream sequence that he had with Stephen Moyer (Bill) where Bill was seducing him with his vampire allure. Sam stated in the panel that he was surprised to hear that straight female fans also loved that scene. Hopefully that means there will be more of them in the future.

Overall, the con was okay. Sean Patrick Flannery was a coked-out douche that was begging to get punched in the throat almost literally and I was expecting a bit more with the costuming but I still was not disappointed by the event as a whole.

What else?

Afterwards, we had pho (my first time) at Pho Than Brothers and walked around until we found Redwood which is a dive bar/college bar. It was nice but tiring as vacations normally are.

seattle driving

Today, I drove in Seattle for the first time. Five of us came up here for ZomBcon which we're going to tomorrow. I rented a Zipcar for the weekend to get us all here even if the Mazda III did make for a tight fit, I still managed to get us where we needed to be. The car had just over 2000 miles on it which is one great advantage to taking a Zipcar. It's in great condition and the gas is paid for. Plus, if I'm going to navigate around the biggest city I've ever driven in (which also has a reputation for horrible parking possibilities), it's good to be small and functional. The Zipcar has California plates too so if I make any mistakes, which I did, the Seattle residents can cuss out Cali.

We met up with Josie and headed out to Bamboo Garden where the food is great and strictly vegetarian. We followed that up by heading to the Streamline Tavern. I love exploring Seattle with Josie because she knows all of the best places to go that aren't touristy and packed. Plus it was all within walking distance from her house. After a LONG drive up here, I was ready and willing to walk. Hell, Jennifer and I even ran down Queen Anne Hill.

my first photo voice

I use photos in this blog most of the time to illustrate my post. Sometimes the picture is the post and sometimes I include a picture just because I like it and not because it necessarily has anything to do with the post. I would like my pictures to be more purposeful than pretty though. I have had 1111 posts so I have a little experience with using photographs to illustrate a point. Therefore, this photovoice project should be easy for me.

Initially, I had a lot of ideas about how to portray the Mental Health issues regarding aging. Most of these ideas revolved around using human models but we're not supposed to have people be the focus of the picture so I've got to think outside the box.

For my first set, I included the above picture to illustrate isolation. I also a picture of a tombstone with two spouses on it with only one of them having a date of death to illustrate loss and grieving. I also found the concept of putting your name on a tombstone at the age of 56 to be disheartening. Even though your spouse dies, you don't have to just start counting down the days until your own death. I however am jaded on relationships and undying love and all of that so what do I know.

Anyway, my new thing for today was using the D2L program at school to submit these photographs.

What else?
I also visited the PSU hot tub first thing this morning for the first time this quarter. This is going to have to start happening more regularly. 

hunting the elderly

With the weekend being full of pedi's as well as birthday and pity parties, I didn't have any time to work on my homework and we had a lot of reading due this week, not to mention two photos and three short essays. Therefore, I took a sick day and just read all day until the afternoon when I went to shoot some older people in the park.

My initial concept for my first PhotoVoice picture for my class was to take a picture of an elderly person spending time with a dog at the park. The idea was to look at what brings about positive mental health for people as they are aging. For me (and I'm sure many others), dogs always make things better. They'll get people outside more, get them exercise, and provide them with a purpose, companionship & love. It was a bit weird trying to capture a picture without people knowing but I didn't want to ask because I'm too shy. Besides, the teacher said we weren't supposed to take pictures of faces so the person wouldn't be able to be identified. However, I also read through the syllabus and saw that the teacher didn't want a person to be the primary focus of the picture. So my hunt was in vain. At least I got all of my reading done and some other photos taken.

my bad day

Sigh, today started off well enough. The Mars Hill Church had it's first mass today in my neighborhood. This church opposes queers and yoga so they're really in the wrong neighborhood and, while I'm all for freedom of religion, I don't care for someone telling me that I'm wrong in my own backyard. So, I met the protest outside the church where we listened to a lot of Rihanna really loudly. It was fun and the day proceeded to quickly go downhill from there. I guess that's what happens when you start a day picketing a church.

Sophia and I went to Circa 33 where I have always been impressed with the food but today I tried the Breakfast Bruschetta for the first time and it was almost impossible to eat. To help fill me up, I ordered a biscuit that ended up tasting more like chemicals than food. After that, I headed to Seven Corners where Corey got me a new tire. It sucked having to buy a new one but at least he had one readily available and I'm sure he gave me a good deal on it but it was still $92 that I shouldn't have had to spend. Then, while biking the tire home on my other bike, I ended up wrecking. It was like a dark cloud was hovering me today. Hopefully, my luck will change tomorrow.

What else?
The one shining bit of today that shined through all of the dark clouds was that Zachary Quinto (Sylar from Heroes and Spock in the new Star Trek) came out as a gay man. That's enough to make the dark clouds part and that angels sing in my world. Thank you Mr Quinto! You have made my day.

Also, I finished the Y series. So good but so hard to let go.

muffin pedi time

Oh Saturday. I got my second pedi ever today. This time, I went with Sophia to Vogue Nail where I not only got a pedi but I got my toes painted a dark silver and I was repeatedly violated by a invasive massage chair. Not that I didn't enjoy it though. ;)

What else?
After our pedicures, we shopped around Hawthorne for a while and went to Classic Collection which appears to be a hat shop that had to incorporate other items into the store to justify the space. I'll most likely buy something there in the near future.

In the evening, I met up with Ashes and Victory to celebrate his birthday. I helped his family celebrate it yesterday as well when we went to his parents' house and I got to meet his new nephew Charlie for the first time. Tonight though, it was bowling, dinner at the Red and Black and then karaoke where I got to sing six songs. That would have been a perfectly satisfying end to a great day but no, some butthole had to ruin it by stealing the front tire off of my bike. I normally only lock the front tire up maybe 15% of the time so I was probably due but it really sucks. Why the hell would someone need just the front tire?  With something like this, it appears to just be thoughtless vandalism. If they were going to steal the whole bike, then I could at least think, "Well maybe that will at least be one more cyclist and maybe they really needed it," but this was just one tire. What a dick! 

photo research

This is a very different school quarter for me. For one thing, I'm only taking one class. It's weird because I'm used to having my energies divided and now I can focus them on this one class. It's also different because it's so very specialized to one population and then there's the fact that I don't have any major papers due at all. My grades will be based upon simple one paragraph answers to questions about each of the readings and also upon photographs.

For this class, I'm going to be taking pictures that represent some aspect of aging. Tonight, we had our research instructor come to class for the first time and explain this project. I also selected Mental Health and aging. It's going to prove to be interesting and unique as well as refreshing. I love to take pictures anyway so the idea of getting graded on my photographic creativity is intriguing to me.

What else?
On Monday, I raised my bench press to a new high, 180 lbs!

On Tuesday, I tried Zach's Shack's new apple and sage veggie sausage. It was awesome. I talked to Zach himself about it for a while. He was never keen on the veggie dogs but he said he's addicted to the veggie sausages. Like I need another reason to keep coming back to this place. :)

marathon marching

I made up for missing the big Occupy Portland march on Thursday by attending today's solidarity march(es). I believe there were two marches originally planned today, one heading from PSU south park blocks and one heading from the Rose Quarter. Ashes, Nathaniel and I met Victory down there to try to cover the marches for Indymedia but then I ran into at least two other marches besides the two that were initially scheduled. Add on top of that the Portland Marathon which was going on at the same time and it made for a busy day.

Anyway, I bussed around for a while, trying to chase after the marches and I ended up just meeting them when they all came together at Natio Parkway, following the main group of Marathon runners. It was pretty impressive in size and I saw a lot of people there that I don't normally see at protests, including classmates from school and neighbors. Whatever becomes of this movement, it's good that people are finally paying attention.

Here is a quick youtube video of the march:



What else?
After a long day of marching and marathons, I met up with Justin, Jesse and Sophia for drinks and I got to ride in Justin's new car for the first time.

encamping

Today, I checked my cynical ass at the door and went into the encampment for the first time. Wow. Okay, so yesterday, having not walked through the camp, my perception of it all was that it was some punk squatters saying they wouldn't move until everything was fixed for them and they didn't have to pay their college loans back. Well, that was exactly what I DIDN'T see there. Instead, I saw a community full of a variety of ages, classes, races and backgrounds coming together to voice their frustrations with the system and to brainstorm how change can happen. Just...wow!

It really reminded me of the Oregon Country Fair, except nobody was trying to sell me a three dollar lemonade and I wasn't wearing a skirt. And it wasn't just because I saw Jimi Hendrix (pictured in the third-from-the-top photo. As Community Village is, the Occupy Portland encampment was full of caring, awesome and organized people. They weren't an elite group that had survived camp and now only identify with other campers. They were people doing outreach and just talking to one another and whoever came through the park. In fact, they were having sanitation issues so they were encouraging people to not camp if they didn't have to but to come, learn, talk, hang out and then participate in support activities like the marches and rallies going on tomorrow.

This really put my mind at ease and blew it away at the same time. They had committees organized, they had an information booth, a safety booth, a library with rotating speakers (and anyone could sign up), a food booth with free food and people designated to help if you experienced conflict with anyone, sexual assault or just needed medical attention. And this is ALL in this one little park. It was beautiful. I am soooo damn proud of this city!

Also, the occupy movement has won me over as well. Almost every state has at least one Occupied city (c'mon Wyoming and South Dakota, North Dakota is making you look bad!). Oregon has a few Occupied cities. One of them is Seaside. This surprised me but Ashes filled me in on what is happening in Seaside. It's a very sought after vacation spot where people own beach houses. Therefore, the rent is high and the land is expensive. So expensive in fact that people who work in Seaside can't afford to live there. There have been reports of people having to camp in the woods outside of Seaside and then hike into work each morning. Part of their Occupation revolves around finding a solution to this problem. That's inspiring and so awesome. On a side note, maybe I should have done some remote reporting for Indymedia and headed to Seaside to do report from there for the weekend.

What else?
It was a clear and sunny day for the most part today and I spent it chilling with Dean. I also cooked breakfast today using potatoes that Tim had planted in our front yard when he lived here. He comes over and digs them up on occasion. They were really good and it's awesome that they grow under my bedroom window

preoccupied with yesterdays

s

When all you've got is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

I screwed that phrase up last time I blogged it out (which was more than 2 years ago) so I decided to restate it after today's experience.

Portland Indymedia's webradio has been in a state of transition for the past year and a half. Because of that, new content hasn't been generated and I'm sure that any listeners we did have have moved on to new sources and grown with the new technologies. In today's world of technological advances, a year and a half is a pretty significant period of time. Factor into that the fact that we weren't really up-to-date before we stopped broadcasting and we have almost become obsolete.

Today, the occupation of Portland continued and we had radio coverage of the event in a different space for the first time. We are using twitter and AIM so I guess we are evolving but Atomic and I had a discussion about whether or not we're just looking for nails in a world that has moved onto screws. As I have demonstrated, it's easy to get your voice out there. Indymedia was developed at a time when blogs and social networking sites weren't common and information didn't spread like wildfire. Still, I think that Indymedia, specifically Portland Indymedia is somewhat relevant right now because it is a central source for information that people can turn to. I'm not Facebook friends with more than 120 ppl and a lot of those people don't regularly update their status and, when they do, it's usually just how they are feeling, not breaking news information. If I really wanted to know what was going on right now, I would follow PortlandIMC through twitter or I would log onto the website.

I just think that we need to reexamine what we are doing, why we are doing it and if it is effective. I think that about the occupation though too. I biked by there today and was thrilled to see that they still had the street between Chapman Park and the other block occupied. Barricades are up and it looks very well put together. I found out later that the barricades are actually for the Portland Marathon which happens on Sunday but it still looks cool. However, all I know is that it's a bunch of people down there who want an end to debt and the 1% to stop lording over the rest of us. Um...how? I want world peace or at least an end to animal/environmental suffering but, again, how? How is camping in a park going to bring that about?

I don't know. Maybe I'm just frustrated with my inability to do anything. Shit, I couldn't even get out of my job today to come down and join but really I don't even know what I would have done down there if I was able to come down.

What else?

Although I am frustrated with a lot of things right now, I don't want anyone to think that I didn't enjoy today because I did. Capping it all off was an awesome conversation that I had with our friend Kim. She's a great source of comfort and a great listener. If nothing else, talking with her made my whole night worthwhile. 

occupy portland

The Occupy Portland protest happened today in conjunction with Occupy Wallstreet movement and several other cities (there's a good but not completely comprehensive list here at the Detroit site). I fully support this movement but I don't quite understand how people sitting in a park in Portland are going to eliminate debt. I guess you've got to start somewhere though and this movement has got more people talking about the financial inconsistencies. Big businesses get bailed out, get tax breaks and the people get screwed over, thrown out of their houses, laid off, and/or go hungry. It's not a clear and visible path that we're moving down, toppling the 1% that oppress the 99% but it's uplifting to see that there's movement in that direction.

What else?

The march started at 12pm. I was originally planning on taking a long lunch break and heading down there to see it. However, I was eating lunch with four of the clients, including G and W. G's girlfriend asked me when our next inservice was and, although we were all just told not to be on our phones during client breaks, I had to glance down at my phone to get the date for her. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the assistant to the president of the company do a double-take by my table. I looked up and W was flipping off the clock on the wall and the assistant was standing between him and the clock.

I immediately told him to drop his hand and he started screaming, "F*** you, you motherf***ing b****!" W has screamed before but never this long of a string of profanities and never in the presence of the assistant to the president of the company who, by all measures, actually runs the company and could fire anyone at anytime. Luckily, W is a client and he can get away with this. In a way, I'm jealous.

I did head to down to the protest right after work, experienced it for a little bit but then biked over to Seven Corners where I got new pedals for the first time. They switched it out quick and even fixed two broken spokes for me. Those people are awesome!

the old and the frail

Years ago, I was discussing my fears with Jessica. I told her I was afraid of tornadoes, the Amish and old people. It was over 10 years ago and my fears have dissipated or changed now but I realize that my fears were based upon ignorance, which is usually the case. At the time, my only experience with older people came from my grandmas (who I didn't categorize as old people because I knew them as individuals and not as a generalization of the elderly) or from Abe Simpson. At the time, my grandmas were each independent enough to not fit into the elderly stereotype. I didn't even consider them old. Memories of my great grandma in the nursing home were my primary reference whenever the elderly were discussed.

Now, I have a greater comprehension of what being elderly means. I don't buy into stereotypes anymore because through my work, I've seen enough variety. Also, I've educated myself with documentaries such as Sunset Story and now with my class. We just watched a documentary called Living Dangerously about two very different elderly people, choosing different paths and dealing with different issues. It's sad because both people die at the end of the film but that's to be expected. Also, I'm learning in class that dying doesn't have to be an awful thing. Even if I don't go on to work with the elderly after this, I think that this class will be good for my overall experience with life and my own aging process.

So, boom, one fear diminished. Since I'm in Portland, I don't have to worry about tornadoes. Now if I could just find a way to protect myself from the Amish... (*kidding*)

cascade aids walk 2011

 It's time again for the Cascade AIDS walk. This is my fourth year organizing it through work and, like every annual event that I enjoy, I had to amp it up a bit. I had everyone wear black again this year but I also brought matching red feather boas for the dogs. We had 12 people in the photo this year and five dogs, each wearing feather boas. It looked fierce and that's what matters. ;)

We weren't the only group that brought it though. A bunch of people were dressed as various superheroes. I didn't get pictures of all of them but one lady was a nice Mystique and a guy was a body painted Green Lantern who was only really wearing his undies. It's also just a fun, festive walk. As I annually do, I went to the diabetes walk last month and it's very tame compared to the AIDS walk. We queers really liven shit up! It was a great time and I got to meet Zilla, the lil pup pictured in the last photo. She was as big as Dean's snout. She wanted to play with him badly but I was afraid he would step on her and that would have put a damper on the day.