letting the rain win

When I moved out of Long Haus and gave up insuring my car, my supervisor asked me how I was going to get to work when it started raining. I told her I had plenty of rain gear but I could always bus it. I've held out having to take the bus until today but the forecast for rain was bad and I just wasn't in the mood to get wet.

It wasn't a good start to my new bus commute. I bought a five dollar all-day bus pass and quickly regretted it. The Morrison Bridge is under construction which means that the Belmont bus has to go across the Hawthorne Bridge and, in doing so, has to navigate SE 7th Ave. Despite how long this construction has been going on, SE 7th Ave traffic still isn't used to having a bus between Belmont and Hawthorne and I spent around 10 minutes just trying to make it between the two streets. I could have walked it in that time.

As I bussed back downtown for class tonight, I forgot the Belmont bus would make a sharp northern turn as soon as it got across the river so it could correct its construction detour. This took me way far away from PSU. I ended up having to run from SE 2nd and Morrison back up to PSU.

I was pissed and not in the mood to get back on the bus to go home after class. However, as if the universe was offering up an apology for the shitty commuting service I had received throughout the day, I found a $5 bill on the ground before my last bus stop. That kind of made it all worth it.

health concerns

On Saturday morning, I had brunch with Tim, XBox, and Sophia. Tim talked about how he and a friend have given up drinking for a week. While that sounds really easy, I thought it would provide enough of a challenge to make it interesting. Jennifer agreed to do it with me so we had our last drinks on Friday night and haven't drank since.

Today, I felt wonderful. Maybe I really needed to detox my system! It was a bit of a challenge on Sunday when I met up with Sophia and Justin at the Horse Brass pub. They have an excellent beer selection but I held strong and chose an orange soda instead. I know that when I started drinking in college, I had a drinking problem. However, I don't really like to drink that much anymore but it has become routine for me to have a beer in the evening or drink socially with friends. I'm glad Blowpony's not this weekend because I would pretty much have to drink then.

Along with stopping a negative, I added a positive, or five pounds to be more specific. I increased my bench press rep weight again. I now bench 185 lbs. That's me and a baby! With doing 4 sets of 7 reps, that comes to 5180 lbs I lift whenever I go to the gym!

What else?
On Sunday, as I was biking over to Long Haus to work out, I had a revelation about my work. I can't go into it here but it made me realize that I have got to start getting some things in order. That was my new thing yesterday.

This week, Dexter took place in Kearney, NE. Crazy! If that wasn't enough, he mentioned going to Portland from Kearney!

it's the final countdown

Earlier this week, Portland's Mayor Sam Adams announced that people would have to evacuate the occupation by 12:01am on Sunday morning. While I am unsure about the exact intent of camping in a park, I agree with the general message of dissent and dissatisfaction with the current system. I also expected that there would be police violence. Why else would you evict someone in middle of the night? However, I didn't expect so much community support.

I don't want to write about the whole experience again as I have already posted a story about it here on Indymedia. I will however say that it was unbelievable. I spent all night downtown with a couple thousand people standing off against the cops until the sun came up. Absolutely surreal.

It wasn't easy. It was rainy and cold and I should have brought snacks. At around 2:30am, I was ready to go but instead I just took a break, got some food and cocoa, and went to the bathroom. I was able to last until dawn after that. Shortly after returning, I filmed this video:

After 6am, I hit my wall and had to go home. I was in the street for what would be an entire work day which also meant that I was also up for almost 24 hours. For the rest of today, I hung out at Long Haus, uploading my videos and pictures and writing the story.

discontent is the first necessity of progress

Yesterday, as I was biking to work, I realized that I had forgotten to register for classes...again. This school year has been hard for me to remember to register on time because for the past two years, I have had to register on Tuesdays, not Mondays. By the time I got to work and logged onto my computer, I saw that the classes I had originally wanted to take on Mental Health were all full. So I was screwed.

As soon as I discovered that I couldn't get into these classes, I wrote to the instructor who was teaching them. I took a class with her my first year and, although she's the only instructor to give me a B as a final grade so far, I still thought she would let me in. So, with that settled, I proceeded to have an awesome evening, doing all of my laundry, patching my clothes and sorting the garbage, recycling and mail. Then, at 10pm, I got an e-mail from the instructor, saying she couldn't add me.

My plan was to take as many classes on mental health as possible so I could graduate with a lot of knowledge about the topic and move to New Zealand in the near future where they have an excellent Mental Health program. Now all of that is shot to shit. I contemplated taking a quarter off but then I thought how work would deal with that. Then I thought, if I'm not going to school, maybe I should just look for my dream job: working with animals.

The Pixie Project is hiring for an animal care specialist/clerk. I don't have any professional experience but man do I want this job! I stayed up until 1AM adusting my resume and writing a cover letter. If I got this job, it would mean that I would have to postpone school indefinitely which I am fine with doing. I'm following my gut here which has almost always led me down the right pathways.

However, I am not putting all of my eggs in Pixie's basket. Today, I wrote to the counseling department at PSU to see if I could take a class on the medical aspects of disability. They said yes and signed the special register paperwork for me. Even though it's not a part of my plan, it is still wonderful that I get to take a class geared specifically towards disabilities.

What else?

On Sunday, I had the Cricket Scramble for the first time. It was wonderful. Later on, I met up with Andrew and I found my wallet in his couch while I looking for my hat which I have lost.

On Monday, I discovered how to filter out certain terms in e-mails at work. I filtered out "Santa" since my big boss is already pushing Secret Santa stuff on us. I then taught several of my co-workers how to do the same thing. I guess we're the Secret Scrooges.

Ashes and I ate at Homegrown Smoker today for lunch where I had the fake fish Fillet of Fu for the first time. I also picked up a new hat from Double Darn that was custom made for me. This time, it's dark brown with light pink stitching.

shonen knife!

Shonen Knife has got to be my favorite band to see live! They are so much fun that I went to Dante's tonight to so see them. Normally, I would never be in Dante's on a Saturday night for a punk show but I love this band. Last year, I didn't know who they were when I went to their show. Since then, I have got a lot of their CDs and listen to them a LOT. So this was special to see them, know their songs, and know that they were going to be awesome!

For Dante's, I was surprised by the crowd. There was a mix of young and old. I was definitely not the oldest person there. When the band started, they opened with Capybara which is a delightful song to pogo dance to. This led to continued dancing which meant a bunch of us were shoving each other and we danced together. After a couple songs, the dude directly in front of me stopped dancing suddenly, goes over to his girlfriend, motions at me and reaches over and shoves me. I just went on to enjoy the show. The dude later comes back to dance and ends up tossing a beer back which hits the four or five of us directly behind him. Props to the bouncer who then put the guy in a headlock and threw him out. Despite that, it was an awesome show!

What else?
Five of us went to A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas which was stupid fun and probably the best 3D I've seen. Right afterwards, we went to Horse's Brass where I had the veggie pasty for the first time.

After Shonen Knife, Jessica dropped me off at Mattachine, a dance party at Branx named after the Mattachine Society. John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig) was supposed to be DJ'ing but I didn't see him. I did see someone wearing a fur, complete with the animal's head and feet still attached. I was so disgusted that I left and walked home. Still, I maintain that it was a good night.

dog bones

Dean has been limping really bad for a few weeks now. This morning, I touched his right hind leg and he yelped so I figured he broke something. Initially, I thought it was just arthritis but since there was a definite tender spot, I thought maybe it would be treatable.

I took him to the vet and they decided that they wanted to X-ray him. They told me it could possibly be bone cancer which I really wasn't prepared to deal with. They showed me the X-ray so I got to see his bones which were actually in good shape. They said his hips look great which was a shock. Thankfully, it was just a partially torn ligament on his knee. The vet gave me some meds for him and told me to keep him on short walks for potty purposes only for the next two weeks. I also have to ice his knee daily which I did tonight for the first time. $333 later, I have a dog that's on his way to recovery. It's been depressing watching him limp around the house. Hopefully, this will make us both feel better.

he wants revenge

Today, I was eating with one of my clients G who threatens war in the hallway and tries to blow up things like Iron Man. Another client D who like High School Musical was sitting right behind G and getting more upset by the minute. D says that G annoys him with his loud voice but always chooses to sit near G. I told D he could move and I asked another staff member to encourage him to move to a different table but he refused. D also chose to stand next to D as we exited the cafeteria building to walk to their production building. As soon as G gets out the door, he yells "I'm invincible!" in reference to Wolverine. D promptly turns towards G and projectile vomits over G's walker and coat.

It wasn't really vomit but more like spit and food. However, D did make a vomiting noise. G understandably screams and runs across the street towards the production building. I hang back with D and ask if he was okay and he said yeah, he was mad at G. When we get to the building, I ask D to come into the office with me where I ask him if he was feeling sick or if he purposely spit on G. D said he wasn't sick and he spit on G because G makes him mad. I then told D that this was never acceptable behavior and he said he was sorry.

I stayed behind to tell his boss what happened and could hear G in the break room where he was yelling about getting thrown up on. When I went back to the break room, I saw that D was at his locker right around the corner from G, talking about how upset G makes him. G started to walk around the corner and D again turns to him, makes a vomiting noise and spits water in G's direction. Fortunately, G jumped back in time. I told D that he had to go to the bathroom and throw up properly if he was sick. D then screams that he hates G and is going to quit. He throws his nametag at G, misses, and storms off. D later runs across the production room and slams a fist into the breakaway sliding glass doors which breaks them open. A third client runs to him and screams, "What did you DO?!?" I'll tell you what he did. He gave me my favorite client story to date.

halloween 2011

I love this day. I love wearing costumes and today, it's not only not unusual but it's also expected. However, I still love to be exceptionally flashy. I was a protest fairy today. I had to be a fairy because that was the themed costume that my co-workers (pictured in the first photo) and I chose. However, I didn't want to be just an ordinary fairy so I made up a sign with marker and glitter that said, "Occupy Never Never Land" on one side and "Fairy Pay for Fairy Work" on the other. Plus, a dog is a great accessory so I put Dean's wings on him and we went for a fairy walk down Hawthorne.

My new thing today was attending the clients' Halloween party. Last year, I told the bosses before Halloween that I didn't want to have the clients paraded through the offices in costume on Halloween. We always tell people not to refer to them as children or treat them like children but the Halloween parade was very childish. Instead, we threw a party. I was at my internship last year on Halloween so this was my first work Halloween party.

It should have been better organized. To say that there is discomfort at my work right now would be an understatement. This has led to a "Can't someone else do it?" attitude which allows for a lot of projects to fall apart. I was concerned that the party today was going to be one of them but we all stepped up and made it a successful party which was pleasantly surprising.

What else?
In years past, we've walked with Raven as he's gone Trick or Treating. This year, he decided that he and his friends wanted to go it alone so we hung back at the coffee shop in Ladd's Circle while they went out. Sigh, I'm going to miss Trick or Treating. I need to either make it a point to head to Seattle on Halloween in the future or make more friends with parents of younger kids.

my great pumpkin

 

Out of all of the holidays, I gotta say that Halloween is my favorite. Still, I can't say when the last time was that I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. Sophia and I decided to get more festive today so we went to the store, bought pumpkins, carving kits, party snacks, and beer and invited people over to celebrate with us. It's the first party-like gathering we have had at the house since I moved in last June.

It was a light, easy-going evening with music, Apples to Apples, and good friends. Only Sophia's man X-box (that's his nickname) and I carved pumpkins. I chose to do Guy Fawkes. I'm so terribly proud of the pumpkin. It's by far my best. I didn't do so well at Apples to Apples but I had a lot of fun.

What else?

I got my Halloween costume together this morning too. I went to Classic Collections on Hawthorne an bought a new blue hat. I then biked to Sock Dreams in Sellwood and bought some blue striped socks. Afterwards, I ate at the Blue Kangaroo coffee shop for the first time. Finally, I found a blue suit at the Woodstock Goodwill and some glitter at Fred Meyer. I always think that I'll get this costume thing done earlier in the year but it never happens. I'm going to say here and now that I will have next year's ready earlier!

honey badger don't give a sh*t

I love Halloween but I haven't really gotten in the mood yet until today. I known that I was going to be a fairy for work since all of us case managers are going to be fairies but that's really all of the planning I have done. Tonight I went to my co-worker's house party (for the first time) where another co-worker was dressed up like a honey badger (in the middle of the picture above). The creativity of the costumes was inspiring and gave me the push I needed to get in the spirit. I went as a rancher, wearing a western shirt, brown pants, a straw hat (impractical for a rancher) and my grandpa's coat. I'll definitely be more festive on Halloween. Due to my late night with Andrew last night, I turned into a pumpkin early though and left the party after only an hour or so. I may be festive but I'm still not overtly social.

motivation for change

At my work, we have annual meetings with each client and their team to review their progress for the past year and make goals for the next year. I've done so many of these meetings that it's ridiculous but I've never really felt that they were that effective. It's similar to my evaluation at work. The day to day criticism means more to me than a 30 minute summary of how my bosses think I've been doing. Normally, I conduct these annual meetings in a very formulaic manner. I care what the clients think and I almost always focus on their successes. However, it's still my evaluation of them and my plan for their future. Sometimes that works because the client simply does not know that the next step is and needs the reinforcement. However, most of the time I feel that I'm being condescending.

When we did our motivational interviewing exercise in yesterday's class, I initially believed that this form of intervention wouldn't work for my clients because of the high suggestibility among people with developmental disabilities and also the lack of self-determination. But that is even more of a reason to use it. During class, I kept thinking about the meeting I had scheduled today for my most challenging client. This client has had competitive jobs in the past but has failed at them because he lacks ambition and focus. I can relate. Anyway, I was going to go into the meeting today with a set of goals that I had constructed for him at the request of his supervisor. One goal was to only use the bathroom once between breaks because this guy will spend more than half of his day in the bathroom using his cellphone or just avoiding work. Given this client's potential, I knew that this goal would upset him and I was having a hard time justifying it.

First thing this morning, I took my list of motivational interviewing questions to this guy's work site and began to interview him. I didn't offer up any criticism or suggestions. I simply asked questions like, "What do you feel you need to be working on in this program?" "Why do you want to change this aspect of your vocational training?" "How important is it to you to change?" "What are the top three reasons for change?" Basically, he came up with a short list of issues that he sees he has and potential ways to turn them around. It was WONDERFUL! This was by far the best meeting we have ever had and he opened up about some light personal stuff and we found common ground.

It's nice to know that school isn't just about getting a piece of paper or three letters behind my name. I give my professor a lot of credit for making these concepts into interventions we can work into our practice. I know that motivational interviewing won't work for all of my clients but it is so simple that I think I will most likely try it with everyone and I told my boss that I want to train all of my co-workers on it!

What else?
Andrew and I went to Apizza Scholls tonight and split a pizza there. We had the New York White with half red and half white sauce. It was good but not as good as the Tartufo Bianco. 

moving past first impressions

They say that you never have a second chance to make a first impression. That's true but people should also never make decisions based upon first impressions. When I initially meet people, I am usually shy and awkward if not just rude. If some of my friends had made their final decision of me based upon my first impression, I'm sure I'd had a lot less friends now.

In my class, there's a guy who always ALWAYS shows up late. Initially, I thought of him as lazy and/or irresponsible because he was late. He was then late to the next few classes as well and by now we have all just come to expect it. However, I did a motivational interviewing exercise with him today and got to talk to him for the first time. We did this exercise in regards to his tardiness and why he wanted to change that aspect of his character. It was cool because I got to really understand where he was coming from, he got to come to his own understanding about why he is always tardy and I got to change my perspective about him. I doubt we'll be hanging out but it's cool that I am at least not jumping to judgements about him.

In other renewed opportunity news, I gave Hungry Tiger Too another chance today. Sophia and I had been offended by their veggie Reuben a while back and then they gave us an animal leg in our tofu basket months ago. I heard that they rearranged their kitchen so I decided to let bygones be bygones and give them another chance. I had an awesome tofu veggie scramble and biscuits and gravy. I'm glad I came back.

What else?
I had to take a client on a community business tour today so we went Kruger's farmstand market and to the Flying Fish Co. where I bought some good organic eggs.

jessica's birthday

I'm very bad at staying in touch with people. I blame facebook for a lot of that because it makes me lazy. The fact that I see someone's status every other day leaves me with the impression that we are still in touch. However, I don't write a long letter to them anymore and I don't call people and have long conversations. And everyone that I knew from a while ago is back in Nebraska so I don't hang out with them regularly. Jessica is the exception.

Of all of the people that I knew from my college days, Jessica is the one person that I talk to regularly. I love all of my friends that I've met in Portland but it's nice to have someone that knows a different side of me. Hell, most of my friends from here only met me after I was out. Jessica was the first person that knew me from before Portland that I came out to. I love hanging out with her once every other week or so and just catching up or reminiscing or whatever.

Tonight was her birthday and to celebrate it, I met her and her friends at the Slingshot Lounge in felony flats where they let a cat run free throughout the bar. It was cool to see her in her element with her Portland friends and then a few of us from Kearney. I think I may have to try to get together with her and our friend Shawn who we never see even though he moved up here years ago, and catch up just to stay in touch.

mr whiskers

After the excitement of ZomBcon, we took today to hang out with friends and chill in Seattle. We all went to Highline, a vegan bar on Capitol Hill where they were playing the 80's movie Ghoulies at 11am. Then we went to Espresso Vivace. I also found some big blue fairy wings for Halloween at Metro. However, the best part of the day was waking up at Josie's and spending time with little Mr Whiskers (Ian) while drinking mimosas with Josie, Michael, Jennifer, and Jesse. I love kids, especially around 18 months. Mr Whiskers is in a cute 'monkey see, monkey do' phase where he'd repeat a lot of what I said. He was also petting one of the cats a lot and, when I went to pet it, it lashed out at me. It just got me with one claw but I said Ow and waved my hand around. Mr Whiskers then dropped a plastic toy grasshopper on his hand and repeated Ow while he waved his hands about.  Too precious!