a real gift

(there's no purpose behind the picture.  I just hadn't used it yet and thought it was cute.)

I got my paper back from my professor today through the PSU student webmail.  It's nice that she is really doing all she can to go paperless.  That's just one reason to like her.  Another is that she gave me a 96% on my paper!  Honestly, it's better than I thought I deserved.  I think she would have given me 100% except cited (incorrectly, according to her) two websites in my paper but I didn't list them in my references list.  It was a mistake that I am kicking myself for and I'd almost like to resubmit the paper to her.  However, I think I'll take my 96% and run.  The best part was the comments she made in the paper.  She stated that a phrase I wrote was 'Wonderfully written."  She added, "You have a real gift."  That's so damn nice to hear.  I've heard that she was a hard grader and she appears tough but I've gotten a 100% on the presentation from her and a 96% on my paper so either she's not all that tough or I'm just that good. :)

The unfortunate thing about all of this was my paper's subject matter.  The subject was good but it's unfortunate that it is a subject.  I wrote the paper on the lack of recognition for people with developmental disabilities who are GLBTQ.  One client and the drag show is what inspired me to write about this issue.  I thought that eventually I could get a field placement through PSU at Bridges to Independence so I could learn more about how they are advocating to get people with DD who are GLBTQ recognized.  However, I found out today that Bridges is closing up shop on Friday due to financial problems and a whole lot of stupid bureaucracy.  Damn.  Well, that just means I'll have to pursue this line of advocacy on my own.

What else?
I woke up early this morning so I could get down to PSU to workout and use the hot tub.  It's a fine way to start a day!

I made it through the second item on the Homegrown Smoker menu which was the MacNnocheerto which is a burrito with their veggie bbq meat, totally baked beans, peppers, onions and vegan mac'n'cheese.  It wasn't the best thing every and I will probably never get it again because I think the other options on the menu have got to be better.

different angles

I got to see one of my clients in a new way today, through her in-laws.  It was weird because I've thought the worst of these people for the four years I've known this client.  She's painted them as being oppressive and manipulating.  However, after meeting them for the first time and getting a more rounded story, I'm beginning to see that she is a difficult daughter-in-law (with an equally difficult husband) and these in-laws are just trying to make it all work out.

It makes sense that I don't know all sides of her.  Even the people that know me really well at work still don't know just how I am at home.  And my friends would be surprised to see me at work.  I guess I'm kind of ignorant in assuming that I was getting a clear and consistent picture of this person who I only work with 22 hours a week and even then I only see her about an hour per week.  I knew that she didn't see all there was to me so why do I assume I'm a one-way mirror.  Anyway, it's gonna give me something to think about and change the way I deal with some of my more reserved clients and all of my clients' home staff and family.  They often go through shit that I couldn't imagine.  My obligation is to the client but I can and should assume that I'm not always getting the full picture from them.

slosmomofo with stfu puppies

Today I simply wrote off the fact that my dinner was vegan to justify it being healthy.  It was good but I can't honestly say that it was good for me.  I have had every intention of eating more greens but then there's such a wealth of awesome veggie and vegan meats available around town that it becomes tempting to go with them instead.

Sophia mentioned this place to me the other day and since the cart is right by PSU I decided to try it.  Homegrown Smoker Natural Barbecue has a good all vegan menu.  Good as in tasty good, not healthy good.  I had a monster sandwich (SloSmoMoFo in Mellow Yellow [not the soda] sauce) today and fried bread (STFU [shut the f*** up]) puppies).  Despite that it may not be the most healthy option, I'm damn tempted to make my way through the entire menu just because I've been missing decent BBQ since I went veggie.  It's nice to have the options now!

!powderkeg!

Tonight was my first !POWDERKEG! show.  My housemates are in the band and they've had a handful of shows within the past few months.  I don't have a really good excuse as to why I haven't seen them yet so I decided to go.

On the way there, I realized too that I haven't gone out on a Friday night for a while, especially to a party in Northeast.  Circadia is right off the 75 line so it's easy enough to get to.  Getting back from there isn't as easy but it's manageable.

!PK! was great.  The show was short though.  It was almost a teaser to what they would be like in the streets.  I'll definitely be seeing them again but next time it'll hopefully be in more of a riotous manner.

the body electric

Today, I saw Eli Clare speak about body imagery.  Eli is a self-identified white, disabled genderqueer.  If I was to venture a guess and I am only doing so to further elaborate on who it was that I was listening to, I would guess that Eli is a female to male transgendered person who has Cerebral Palsy.  I've known other people with similar mannerisms and speech patterns who had Cerebral Palsy.  That's why I'm guessing CP.

Still, that's oppressive of me.  By stating what separates Eli from me, I'm labeling what's normative and what's deviant according to societal and cultural standards perpetuated by mass media.  I won't try to replicated Eli's presentation but it was damn powerful.  Basically, we've been told that people with disabilities are envious of and should aspire to be able-bodied which is perpetuating the idea of inferiority.

I think of myself as being more attuned to this sort of idea than your average bear but I found myself labeling myself as the service provider at the start of the presentation and putting people into two basic categories at the presentation: those who are experiencing this form of oppression and those who professionally help them.  However, this lesson can be applied to everyone and I'm no better than them.  Eli had us break into pairs and answer some personal questions about body image.  A lady I had met in the beginning of the presentation and I paired up.  Initially, I wanted to bolt because I hate group exercises.  But I'm glad I stuck around.  The lady was awesome and I'm glad I stayed.  I'm glad I went.  I'm glad I am who I am and I do this for a living and for a learning and life experience.

let's talk about pecs

Working out started for me as such an difficult thing.  In high school, I remember our basketball team one year (either my sophomore or junior year) going to the gym one time as a team.  I had no clue what to do.  Shortly after senior year, my friend Jeff and I started going regularly.  I got a little more comfortable with the equipment then but still had absolutely no muscle tone.  When I went off to community college, I started going to the YMCA to continue to work out.  When I went to the University, I got a weight set from my parents which saw me through to the apartment complex gym in Portland.

People seem to have this fear of the gym.  They fear going into a gym and not being able to lift anything.  The pressure of wanting to not appear like a lightweight (or a no-weight) is legitimate but their body is not going to magically overnight transform into a buff, gym-ready machine, unless there's a radioactive spider bite involved. 

I'm not super-buff guy but I got me some pecs now.  However, it took years and years to get there.  I also don't want to impose any sort of social standard for health and appearance on anyone.  However, if people want the body but are afraid that they don't have the body enough to go out and try to get the body, then they're screwed until they get over it.

What else?

Madonna + Glee = gayoverload!  I watched the Glee Madonna episode all the way through twice just tonight, got the songs and then watched several clips over and over again.  It was just so damn entertaining.  I love the Glee songs usually but there's always a performance or two that I could do without.  However, this episode was just one gleeful moment after another! 

walking on petals

Oh happy day.

I took the chance today to stop and walk on the flowers.  I think I could get used to walking on flower petals.  A co-worker was complaining to me about how the flower petals create such a mess when the weather acts up.  If an excess of vibrant flower petals at your feet is a problem for you, you need to stop complaining. :)

I gave myself a day of no worries.  I took a line from Meredith from the Office's St Patricks Day episode.  Just one perfect day.  No hassles.  No worries.  (No school.)  Nope.  Uh-uh.  Not today.

What else?

Due to the roughness of yesterday, my boss kindly gave me two hour paid off today so I went home early, chilled out and then went to C-Bar with Arturo.  I am still holding a grudge against The Pub At the End of the Universe.  Plus the food at the C-bar is good (I tried the Enchiritto for the 1st time) and the staff is super nice.  It was a sharp and much needed contradiction to yesterday.   

this is a disaster

I should have left my phone at home.

It was supposed to be my day off...sort of.  I am still getting paid but it's my school day.  I was going to do some training with a supervisor at the downtown store in the morning but ended up getting into a power struggle with a client who refused to use his walker to prevent himself from falling down.  I had to have a 30 minute meeting with him and it sucked.  I like him a lot but damn he is stubborn.

Before I got out of the meeting, I got a call from another co-worker that said a different client's mother injured herself and may not make it home from the hospital to care for her daughter so I had to get creative and then pushy and call all sorts of people throughout my statistics class.

Before my other classes, I was exhausted.  I keep telling myself that this is as rough as it's going to get because I never have to take three classes during the same quarter for the rest of my academic career.  I'm not so sure work won't get harder though.

What else?
Oh, speaking of school, I got a 100% on the group project where I was the social democrat.  Whoo-hoo!

bridgework

I biked the Morrison bridge today.  It's the second time I ever did it but this time I didn't endanger my life.  There's a new bike path on the bridge.  I biked down to Saturday Market and bought some sunglasses.  It was a beautiful biking day.

What else?
I went to SouthEast Grind for the first time.  Sophia talks about it a lot so I decided to check it out.  It happens that today was their 1st anniversary so I got a free coffee!  It was a good place to study and it's open 24 hours so I'll most likely be going back.

I also had a Country Fair meeting today.  It cannot come soon enough.

don't attempt a three pointer

I took a crew of people on a tour of the Rose Garden today.  This isn't my first time there but it's the first time I got to see one of their suites.  But really, the bathroom in the suite was probably the highlight of the tour for me.

strange fruit

This is some bizarre ass stuff right here.  So, for a while, I've been planning to eat durian with Sophia.  Last weekend, Yi and Sophia bought a durian so we made plans to eat it.  I love the concept for getting a big hunk of food, especially fruit, and scheduling activities around it.  There's just something so lovely and simple about that idea.

However, most people wouldn't describe a durian as lovely or simple.  It's bigger than your average coconut and it's spiny.  The spines actually hurt if you pick it up without it being in a plastic net because it's weight digs the spines into your hand.  This is a fruit that kills people as it falls out of trees though.

The inside is even weirder.  The fruit is divided into four or five sections.  Each section has a split down the middle of it and can be accessed from the husk.  Inside each section is four or five seeds.  These seeds are surrounded with the meat of the fruit which is like a slightly more solid vanilla custard.  It's filling too.  A whole durian has approximately 2000 calories.

It was definitely an unusual experience and made me think about what exactly is out in the world that is 100% alien to me.  It's good to shake me up so violently.

What else?
Also on Sophia's recommendation from last week, I went to give Give Pizza A Chance a chance today.  It's apparently the same people/business that runs Pyro Pizza in cartopia.  I really enjoyed the GPAC and I will most likely be back.  It may even be a viable alternate to eating DC Vegetarian so much but the values not quite there.

After durian, Sophia, Yi and I went to Por Que No for yet a third new dining experience for the day.  Good quality, good prices, nice place.  We were there late talking which was really pleasant.  Damn good day.

riyadh's

Despite the fact that I've had this blog for going on three years, I have yet to try the Lebanese Restaurant only a few blocks from work.  Today, I fixed that situation!  I went to Riyadh's.  It was okay.  The falafel is just at good at Fat Kitty but it's a lot more relaxed here and closer by.  I'll probably be choosing to go here more often since I frequently get mad falafel cravings and I can eat them everyday for a week without tiring of them.

j.c.

After years of drama in high school and productions in college, I still get stage-fright.  Today, we did our presentation of social paradigms in my macro theory class.  By luck of the draw, I got social-democratic theory.  I am not a social democrat but I liked being in a position where I could 'in character' and out of character recant the evils of capitalism.

However, I wasn't quite prepared to do it along.  I needed J.C. (Jose Cuervo) to see me through this process.  I ran and got a shot from the Pizza Schmizza Pub and ran back to class.  It was just enough liquid courage to see me through the process.  I think it went okay.  I'm just glad it's over.

slap! chop!

Homomentum, Slap Chop and karaoke at the Ambassador is how I spell relief.  After spending most of the day yesterday and all day today studying, I gave myself a deadline today of stopping, no matter what my progress was, by 7:30 pm.  At 8pm, Homomentum was going to start and it was going to be my break from Statistics.

It was the last show of the season.  It wasn't great and it's probably a good idea to do a season.  I think that people's interest is waning and spring brings new alternatives.

My alternative today was the slap chop video.  Ashes showed it to me the above video today and I loved it.  It was just a precursor to karaoke at the Ambassador though.  There, I sang Surrender by Cheap Trick and attempted to sign up for it on a computer.  I bet before too long (and if they don't have it already), there'll be I-Phone Apps which will allow you to sign up for songs shortly after walking into the bar.

a cubicle with a view

While I worked in the retail side of my company, I was transferred roughly every six months to a new site.  It kept things fresh but then again it lacked needed stability.  When I took the case manager job, I finally knew where I was going to be stationed.  I've been in the same cubicle for the past three years.  It sounds monotonous and drab but I liked where I was.  There was a skylight above my desk, I wasn't out in the open for many people to walk by and I was in earshot of my supervisor so I could help her out or ask for her help without leaving my chair.

A month ago, they announced that we would be moving around.  I was very resistant but I also didn't have a choice.  I'm the most long term case manager so I got my pick of the open desks.  If I had to move, I was gonna take a window.  Today, I picked up my stuff and moved.  Within a half an hour after I unpacked, I started to dig my new setting.  Nothing like a big window view to give me a fresh perspective.

the other half

When I was a kid, we moved to South Dakota for a year to live in Yankton.  One evening, we went to my dad's boss's place for a party one night.  Somehow, a bunch of us went into a hot tub that sat in a hilltop overlooking the city.  I remember thinking that it was truly how the other half lived.  I also assumed that I would be there someday.

Today, I went to my classmate Kim's house in Beaverton.  (The pic above is the result of a google search for Beaverton.  Props to the photographer mccun934.)  It was very beautiful and made me realize again how I don't live and how I probably will never live.  It's beautiful and I could see it working for people but not for me.  I don't think that I could have it even if I could afford it.  The indulgence of it all would be a constant source of guilt for me.  Kim's awesome and I think that she's put up with a lot in her life and is totally deserving of this space.  It's just not my endgame, at least not right now.

I went to Kim's place to work on a group presentation for this next week.  We've got this bigger idea for our presentation instead of just doing your standard powerpoint.  I don't know how I feel about it but my partners are confident so we'll give it a shot.

What else?
I did a lot of running around today.  I bussed downtown, went to class, walked up to one of my stores, came back to workout, went across the bridge to workout, headed back over to PSU to catch a ride to Beaverton and was there until 10pm.  I cannot wait for summer. 

charting my course

I haven't taken a math class since college algebra in high school (14 years ago) and then I relied heavily on my friend Jeff.  I think I went into English to primarily avoid math.  Therefore, I wasn't thrilled when I found out I would have to take a statistics course.

So far, it hasn't been as bad as I originally anticipated.  It's mostly dealing with charts and a lot of it's done on the computer.  Today, we had our first class in the computer lab and got to work with a program that creates charts after you input the data.  I can't say that I really understood it all well but I think I got it just as much as anyone else did in the class.  We're social workers.  Math is not our friend.

What else?
I went to the Pizza Schmizza Pub near campus.  When I was walking by, some of my classmates from my culture class my first quarter were there.  I thought it'd be fun to join them but it really ended up being a lot of shit-talking, not just about professors but about other students.  It's good to know that I won't be missing anything if I don't go hang out with them again.  We don't want no drama.

I also got to watch 'Capitalism: A Love Story' in my Human Behavior class.  It made me appreciate my teacher infinitely more.

observing easter

I've spent this whole weekend (Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday morning, afternoon and evening) studying.  The weird thing is I'm actually enjoying it.  My Human Behavior in the Social Environment: Macro Theory looks at the society's problems as society's fault and not necessarily the individual's fault.  I just read a few chapters about how capitalism is screwing everyone over except the wealthy.  It's cool because I've been studying this for the last eight years.  And my statistics class is actually not so bad.  I made a histogram today on my computer.  I like having concrete numbers and displaying them in the most effective way.  However, I needed to get out of my self-imposed tomb so, on the third day, I have risen.  (Yes, that's probably blasphemous but I'm not a religious person.)

Pictured above is the little bit of sunlight that I managed to see today.  My friend Jen was heading to the Observatory off SE Stark and 81st so I practically ran out the door to see her and not be in the house.  I walked 10 blocks to 39th Ave (Cesar Chavez Blvd) and caught the 75 bus.  As it was pulling up to my stop at Burnside, I saw that bus pull away so I fiercely walked around 45 blocks to the Observatory.  I'm lucky it did not rain.

Anyway, the Observatory was nice.  I'd definitely be going there more often if it wasn't so far away.  They had a drink called the Capricorn which was strawberry puree, vodka and something else with salt and peppercorns on the rim.  That drink will probably be what lures me back.

What else?
While at home, I did the first third of my take-home statistics test that's due at the end of the month.  After I finished that, I felt the need to instantaneously reward myself by watching 3 episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race.  I love this show.  It's put "fierce" in my lexicon and it got me through 45 blocks quickly as I did my best, fiercest strut the whole way. 

an open space

It's great when things change for the better.  A few months ago, I was pretty sad that the Funky Door went out of business.  They had a good couch and were within easy walking distance from my house.  However, not too long ago, The Open Space Cafe moved in.

The Open Space is distinctly different from Funky Door.  They have a more expansive menu, better decor and a liquor license.  They also offer vegetarian biscuits and gravy.  It's not the best B&G in town (I now give that title to the Food For Thought cafe at PSU) but it's very convenient.  Also, the owners seem cool and they have great taste in music.

Many Saturday mornings-afternoons will be spent here this quarter.

the keys to the kingdom

I had my evaluation at work today.  Two years ago, I told my boss that I wanted to manage the Alternative to Employment department eventually.  Today she told me that I have the job as soon as the current manager retires. :)  That's cool but she also told me that I'm in her succession plan.  She has to pick someone to replace key positions in her department should something happen to one of her key people or should they chose to leave.  Apparently, I'm her #1 replacement for my direct supervisor who is the #2 to her #1 in our department.  Wow, that's some pressure.

I do a good job at work but that's because I like my job.  I'm not sure if I'd like it if I continued to move up the ladder  I know that's why they're sending me to school.  They expect big things out of me.  However, the function of our business is the promotion of vocational training.  My schooling is vocational training.  The company can rest assured that they have promoted my vocational training and fulfilled their mission without keeping me in the succession plan for years.

I don't plan to go anywhere at this time but hearing that my vocational future is being planned out for me makes me feel like a chess piece.  I don't like the idea of someone else moving me around the board.  I'm more independent than that.  However, I will play the game, get my degree and see what happens.  They have never said that they expect me to be here for decades.  They do expect me to be here for a while after I get out of school which I'll do.  But I will be looking around to see what my possibilities are.

What else?
I did get some other good news at work.  They promoted a job coach to be a case manager like me so I'll get someone to take my small store off my hands which will be necessary by the time I start the fall quarter and my internship.  They also gave me more hours at one of my stores so I can move my client from the Safeway Milk Plant (which is agitating his depression issues) into a store full-time.  That means I'll just have my two favorite stores to look after soon and a considerably smaller caseload. :) 

somebody put something in my drink

During school this week, I went to new places instead of hitting up the Chit Chat for my bubble tea.  Today, I wanted a bubble tea badly so I headed back to the place where I first got bubble tea, Fat Straw.  During the Hawthorne Street Fair, I got a peanut butter bubble tea which was thick but really good.  I was going to get it again today but they had a special, Nutella bubble tea.  That sounded too decadent too pass up.  However, it came with custard slices along with the tapioca bubbles.  It truly was dessert in a cup.  It was an experience but I'm not sure if I'd get it again.  Slurping up custard through a large straw is a weird sensation.