how it ends

So...I'm done.

If you've been hoping that I would start updating this blog more regularly, I've been sorely disappointing you. I could say that school has been getting in the way but it hasn't been the only reason for my laxidasical posting as of late. Life has just been too much of a good thing lately and I've found more relevant and quicker ways to get out what I want to say. So rather than have this blog turn into more of a burden to regularly update, I figured I'd just put it to rest.

I've enjoyed blogging a lot. It's allowed me to have a venue to put ideas, stories and/or pictures out there that I really want to release. However, it's just not important enough to me to worry about maintaining. I'll miss it and I'm sure there are times to come soon where I will think, "I can't wait to blog about this."

I may start another blog at some other point but I feel like this one is done. If I decide to do another, I'll post a link to this page. I'm going to continue to do new things daily. Just because I haven't been posting them doesn't mean they haven't been happening. Recently, I've been house-hunting for Andrew and me. We're going to move in together which is a huge deal for me. It will involve all sorts of firsts. Also, I only have another two quarters of school to go before I'm done. I may also look at quitting my job when I'm done if things go sour. That will open up even more firsts for me.

This past weekend was wonderful for me. For the first time, I spent the Christmas holiday with just my boyfriend and dog. We took a beach trip back to Gearhart and stayed at the same house that I rented for our birthdays. It was wonderful. Tonight, we went out for Chinese food and drank Absinthe at the Rainbow Room which was served by a lovely bartender in fabulous drag. So, I'm really really happy right now.

Maybe that's why I haven't been posting more. Maybe this whole blog spawned from a gaping hole in my heart which is slowly being repaired...or maybe I've just gotten more lazy. Whatever it is, I feel like this is the right thing to do at this time. I've gone through longer stretches without updating and I just don't feel the need to pick it back up. This story has been told. Let's move on. It's been fun.

to the top of tabor

Not much to write other than I loved this walk and this day and my dog and my man. It was a great day to hike up a volcano. Fortunately, it's also the closest nature walk to me. Dean loved it although he's hurting now. Poor old guy.

What else?
For my new thing, I tried new drinks at Sapphire Lounge and had a new special at J&M today for brunch.

Yesterday, my new thing was hitting a new bar/restaurant while Andrew and I waited for the doors to open for the new Bond film. Daniel Craig is great but it was a very formulaic Bond movie. The villain would have been better without blonde hair.

getting ethical

I  consider myself a good person but I have to admit that my views may not always be the most professionally ethical. Today, I took a course on ethics as part of my internship. I signed up for it only to easily answer one of the points of learning in my internship guidelines. However, I actually learned a lot and it's made me think.

With my job, there are things that I do that may not violate policy but may be under scrutiny when looking at the ethical considerations. I think I'm gonna be better about it. I can justify what I do in a number of ways but when it boils down to it, it makes me less of an ethical worker. I could be all 'radical' and think, "Well, screw the man," or I can just keep my nose clean and do the right thing. Huh, and I thought I knew everything. :)

thank the gods

I don't believe that Obama is the savior and I don't agree with a good amount of his policies. Yes, it sucks to have to side with the lesser of two evils but that's what I felt I had to during this election.

I'm not as glad that Obama win as I am that Romney lost. As a feminist gay man, the ideas that he & his party were pushing made me nervous. Facebook hasn't eased my concerns, hearing friends & mostly family that supported Romney. It made me nervous.

Tonight, I rejoiced with Andrew & his friends & a good bunch of Portlanders at the Bagdad Theater. I'm also celebrating for Washington State for supporting gay marriage & Wisconsin for electing the first openly gay senator.

Yeah, the political parties suck and so do a whole lot if government policies. However, starting slightly ahead instead of 50 years back is definite progress & I'm happy for tonight. Tomorrow, I'll work towards real change.

saga

Nothing extraordinary today but I started a new comic series, Saga. It's written by Brian K Vaughan who did Y the Last Man which is my favorite so I'm giving it a chance. I saw the first volume when I was at Powell's yesterday but didn't buy it. Today I was meeting Andrew at happy hour directly after work but wanted to read while I waited for him so I went into my work's store and found the first issue for 99 cents! Score! I liked it. I'm hoping it will grow on me more.

looking forward

I've been in a rut for a bit. That's part of my excuse for not updating my blog. The rut mainly consists of school and work and the rainy weather. However, we had a semi-dry weekend, I'm skipping school this week to watch the election coverage and I got caught up on my work last Thursday so here's a blog update.

Today, I had a great day, working out in the morning, getting a latte around noon at Powells while I read the latest Walking Dead comic, walking around the hood with Arturo and eating vegan milkshakes at Dick's. I also booked the Gearharts beach house for Christmas with Andrew since I'm not going back to Nebraska until my new nephew's born in January. The beach house is what I'm going to be the light at the end of this school quarter's tunnel.

What else?
I thought about going back to update October but for the most part, my new things consisted of new foods or new experiences at my internship. Here are the exceptions and/or the things that stood out.

On Saturday, October 6th, I went to the last night of the PLGFF in which they showed Cloudburst, a lesbian road trip movie with Olympia Dukakis. I can't recommend it enough. Afterwards, Andrew and I went to the afterparty at Crush which was fun but I liked the kickoff party better.

On Sunday the 7th, I watched the Timbers game at Long Haus on a projector in the back porch which has been nicely redone. Also, I joined Bastard and MLE at Ship's Ahoy afterwards for birthday drinks and good conversation.

On Wednesday the 10th, I woke up to the sound of scratching in the drywall behind my bed.

On Thursday the 11th, I met a new guy, the exterminator named Jason.

On Friday the 12th, Xbox and I had a great conversation about the house. Also, I went to see Margaret Cho who awesome as were her opening acts. So so so funny. I also went to Bare Bones bar with Jen, Ashes and Victory and later Justin and MLE. While we were there, we saw Chris Chandler from OCF. When I stopped him to tell him how much V and I enjoyed his library show at the last fair, he sat down with us and chatted for a while.

On Saturday the 13th, Andrew and I went to Brews for New Avenues. My old internship is really good at fundraising and they almost always incorporate booze into it. :)

On Sunday the 14th, I went to the Walking Dead season premiere at the Academy with Jen. It's a series that's really meant to be seen in the theater! Andrew and I also gave Dean a bath!

On Monday the 15th, I downloaded LibreOffice, a freeware version of Micro-shaft. I like it a lot more and I won't go back.

On Saturday the 20th, I took the day to work on my first paper for the term. I finished it in good time. Sophia made vegan chili so we ate that all day and, after I finished my paper, we played a new game which ended up being a D&D game. Yes, I have crossed that threshold.

On Sunday the 21st, Andrew and I went to see Blood Simple, the Cohen Bros first movie. It was great! We also went to Pastrygirl, the bakery/coffeeshop for the first time.

On Thursday the 25th, I biked to Clackamas for work for the first time since my accident (where the top pic comes from).

On Saturday the 27th, I DJ'ed Ashes' 33rd bday party. Since it was his 33rd, it was a Jesus/religious theme. I went as Lot's Wife (a salt shaker). I was one of only four or five people in costume but I still had fun.

On Sunday the 28th, Andrew and I went bar-hopping up Belmont during the afternoon, lightly drinking and snacking while playing cards. We ended up at Hob Nob Grille for the first time where I taught Andrew how to play Backgammon...and he beat me two times. It was also the 10th anniversary of my coming out. 10 years ago, my friend Joe directly asked me if I was gay and he was the first person I said yes to.

On Halloween, I didn't do a thing except go out to eat with Andrew. I really feel that I failed Halloween this year.

On Friday the 2nd, Ashes and I walked to a client's home on NW 23rd as part of my internship. I love working in the same building with him and getting to do breaks together. It was a lovely day for a walk too!

On Saturday the 3rd, Andrew and I went to the Republic downtown where I ordered a new dish. He's never been there and I haven't been there for years. We also went to Seven Psychopaths which sucked so hard.

And that's it. I'll try to update more often and to take more pictures.

pec-upuncture

Ashes and I tried the gym this week. I was determined to do something since I was feeling well enough to ride my bike. I tried bench pressing, moving my weight down to 135lbs but I was only able to do two reps of 7 before my pec starting hurting. It's the same injury that I had earlier this year which stopped me from working out for a while. I don't want to wait that long to be well again so I went to get acupuncture today.

I saw Matt, a new-to-me acupuncturist at the Brooklyn Acupuncture Clinic who did the acupuncture a little different than I have ever had it done before which proved to me to be more effective. He also gave me some good after-care ideas. I believe that acupuncture works but I've never really felt that it worked for me before today.

What else?
Andrew's been sick this week so we haven't gone back to the film fest. Today, they were showing Men to Kiss, a German film that I thought looked funny so I went to check that out by myself. Before the movie, they were showing a documentary on rape in the military called the Invisible War. I knew it would be a hard documentary to watch but I thought it was important to see and it was. I'm glad I stayed for Men to Kiss though because I needed a good distraction after such a heavy topic.

an internship in three parts

Second week at my internship and I'm still loving it.

Since I'm going by bike again, I was able to bike in to the first time (pictured above). They have two bike rooms on the first floor of the building and more bike parking in the basement parking garage as well as several sets of racks out front. The commute was pretty much a straight shot from my house although I don't like biking over the Morrison Bridge that much due to the incline(s).

At my internship, I had three distinctly different contacts with three different clients of my supervisors. One lives in a nursing home and has been diagnosed with "Failure to Thrive." She's 90, unresponsive and only weighs 82lbs. It's jarring to hear the nursing home staff talk about her impending death.

The second person that we saw was a young woman with profound DD that lives in a group home. We were there mostly to check in on the group home and talk to the manager. We looked at the facilities and I realized that I knew one of the other residents there from my real job.

The third person was a client in her 60s who lived independently. She has some mental health issues so we bring her medication to her to take. I guess that will be one of my responsibilities soon which is cool by me.

It really interesting seeing all the variety that this job encompasses. I have to admit that I was out of my element with the nursing home situation but I think I can learn to be okay with it. It'll just take some more time and experience.

weekend at the movies

I don't think I've ever gone to the theater this often, even when my friend was the manager of a theater. Yesterday, Andrew and I went to see Raid on the Rainbow Lounge, an independent documentary on the raid of a gay bar in Fort Worth, Texas in 2009 on the anniversary of the Stonewall Raid. We had met the director the day before at the showing of Gayby and he was happy to hear that we were talking about his film. It was well done and very thorough.

Then today we went to The Falls, a movie about two Mormons on their mission and coming to terms with the fact that they're gay. It was a good drama but I really loved the humorous parts of it. The director and a lot of the cast and crew were there as well since it was made in Portland.

It's really nice being able to see these movies and get in for free. I'm going to have to do something nice for Yvonne who got us the passes.

What else?
My new thing yesterday was eating at J & M. They didn't have much for vegan options but their vegetarian selection (and quality) was good. Plus I just loved the look of the place.

Today, my new thing was hauling a vacuum cleaner and my bike from Long Haus to my house in a car2go. It's good to know that in an emergency or bad weather this winter, I can opt for a car2go with my bike.

pdx lesbian & gay film fest '12

This evening, I went to the opening night of the Portland Lesbian and Gay Film Fest. It's always been of interest to me but never enough to get me there. Andrew's friend is a driving force behind the FF so she got us full-access passes. We went tonight to see Gayby, the movie about a gay guy who likes comic books who lives with a straight girl who does bikram yoga. It's a strangely familiar setting.

Anyway, the movie was HILARIOUS and then we went to the opening night party which was fabulous! We met the director of one of the films and a couple who is driving from Edmonton, Canada to Hondurus. They happened to stop through Portland tonight with a craving for a movie. They saw the marquee pictured above and they were welcomed with open arms. The whole party felt very classy but yet comfortable. I just probably shouldn't have had as much vodka as I did.

my day in court

I spent the morning in court for my internship as a learning experience. A client was in court and they wanted me to see what the trial would look like. I had the chance to see lawyers, witnesses, cross-examinations, pleas to the judge, and a settlement that left everyone satisfied. It was great!

saddling up once more

I haven't worn my bike hat since I crashed on Labor Day.

It's been so long since I've ridden my bike that it almost feels like a new thing. I've been running this week every direction to catch the bus (I'm soooooo tired of the bus) and it didn't really hurt my tailbone so I figured I could start riding again. It was a short ride but I felt great in doing it. I feel whole again.

What else?
My new thing was taking the HIPPA test at my internship today. It was silly but a nice set up for the test and a lot more educational as a course on information releases than I have ever had.

my professional placement

Earlier this year when I interviewed for my last internship, I was really nervous about the prospect of working in cubicle culture. The transitional house for homeless youth where I worked for my first internship was very relaxed as my current job can be. Today, I realized what I've been missing.

My internship is great! I'm so excited about it. Today, I went in with butterflies in my stomach and left with a song in my heart. It's a professional environment but the change from my current job is this place actually appears to be filled with professionals. It appears to be actually about making a difference instead of a dollar. Plus, my friend that got fired from my current job now works at my internship, just one floor above me. This is going to be awesome.

I met with the division's director today who's a cyclist. He was friendly and knowledgeable and easy to talk to for hours. Later on in the afternoon, I met with my supervisor who's also friendly and experienced in the job. She's got a lot for me to do but she seems willing to let me get my feet wet first before just throwing me in.

This year is going to be awesome after all. Yes, it will be busy and challenging but I think I've been missing having a good challenge lately. I think I'm up to it.

the beginning of the end

This is it.

I have 9 more months to go.

Today, I started my last year of higher education. I can't believe it's almost finished. I've got to not get ahead of myself and actually settle in this year and focus. I'd be lying if I wasn't tempted just to keep my head low, get the papers done and graduate so I can be done with it all. However, I'm not one for biting my tounge.

I had a new instructor today. He was my first white straight male instructor at PSU. I kind of enjoyed the fact that I was always taught by someone who wasn't a white straight male because that's the oppressive class but he recognized that today which was cool. I did call him out on his outdated teaching material (he had a evolutionary chart of theory which showed how it has evolved from 1970-1990 and then just stopped) but I'm willing to give him the benefit of a doubt. He has many years in practice so he's not all academic which is nice.

My main issue with the class is it appears that a large chunk of it is going to be family therapy. I don't want to be a therapist and I definitely don't want to be a family therapist. I'm hoping that's just my initial impression and it will be more varied as we move along.

Anyway, the above clip is a video that he used to start the class. I already have senior-itis. Starting the school year by showing what is essentially a commencement speech is not going to ground me any quicker. :)

by the power of gay skill

The diabetes walk is okay but the AIDS walk is fabulous! So many more people show up and dress up. A lot of costumed people were mythological beings, hence He-Man and She-Ra above! Too AWESOME!

Andrew came with me this year as well as some of my regular friends and co-workers. It was a small group of us in comparison to last year but I liked it more. Dean came again this year and did great!

Also, we went straight to Ashes' soccer game afterwards so Dean got to come there too. The game was fun and Dean got a lot of excitement today although he looks pooped in the picture above. It was great because I'm anticipating being really busy next week and really for the next 9 months as school starts again so I was thrilled to have a great weekend with friends and Dean.

happy fall!

What a beautiful fall day! I got up this morning for the Diabetes walk. My new thing was helping to recruit strangers to walk with us so we would have enough people to satisfy my work and the money they donate. We had a lot of people signed up but people aren't so great about showing up.

Later, Andrew and I took Dean to Mt Tabor and let him roam free-range while we played cards and drank wine. Afterwards, we went to Dove Vivi for awesome pizza but a LONG wait. Still, just an awesome day!

part of the recovery process

I'm feeling a bit better since my accident but I'm still hurting. I can't ride my bike due to my tailbone, I can't work-out due to my ribs (which I tried to do yesterday and failed miserably) and I can't really bend over because my back is so torqued. I figured I could fix the back thing by loosening the muscles around it and that meant a massage! :)

I didn't go back to my usual masseur, Jeffrey today because he's all the way up in NE Portland and I'm not biking. Instead, I decided to try Earth Body massage on Belmont. It was great and I think it did help my back some. This evening, it was easier to bend over to pick up Dean's poo so I must be a bit better. :)

What else?
Andrew and I met downtown to eat at Beau-Thai and then go see the swifts. It's a great date activity and it's free. For the first time, I saw hawks appear to try to grab the swifts. It's pretty awesome that so many people gather to see them every year here.

when it all falls apart

Today was rough.

I found out last Friday that the teacher that I was planning to take my next year's classes with had quit. This threw my plans into a small frenzy because I was taking the class at an inconvenient time just to take it with that teacher. Since she was no longer teaching that section, I dropped that section and tried to sign up for a different section. The computer told me I needed department approval.

Today, I called the PSU registration office to see what was wrong and they told me that they didn't have record of me as being a registered student at all. I said, "Well, you're sending me a bill!" They told me I had to go down there to talk to them in person. Since my plans had become messed up for next year, I thought about just saying screw in and drop out. However, I knew that I wouldn't actually do that. In person, I found out that I had signed a privacy agreement a while back which prohibited them from telling me or anyone else over the phone my registration status. So I got that taken care of.

Then, I went to register for the class and the registration office told me that the social work department had put a hold on these classes for some reason so I'd have to fill out a special registration slip. My new soon-to-be instructor wasn't there but the department director said he's send the instructor an e-mail to get me signed up.

Next I went to buy a book that PSU printed for the instructor. When the cashier went to rang me up, he said that my book didn't have a price and wasn't in the computer. He ended up telling me that the book shouldn't be on the shelves until a later quarter.

So, my day came down to this. I couldn't buy a book for a class I wasn't signed up for in a university that I wasn't actually attending.

After jumping through these hoops and going through this runaround, I found comfort in a small pick-me-up written on the front of a condom machine.

what relationships are made of

Andrew left town this past week for a vacation with his family in Montana. He got back on Friday and we hung out all this weekend, doing fun relationship things. On Saturday, we met for brunch at Circa 33. I had their special which was French Toast encrusted with Cap'n Crunch and filled with goat cheese and berry compote. Then, we went to the PSU Farmer's Market. I'm not sure if I've been there for the Saturday Market before. It's huge! We also stopped into Museum Grounds for coffee and tea.

Today, we went to Ken's Artisan Pizza for dinner and then Safety Not Guaranteed for a movie. It was a fabulous date movie. In fact, I'd say it was a fabulous date weekend. It's times like these where I'm truly grateful to have found a guy that I can be around so naturally and enjoyably.

getting back on that horse

While transferring buses for work, I stopped by my bike shop yesterday to see if my bike was done. They had originally told me it would be done on Saturday but I was in no hurry to pick it up so I figured it could wait. However, it felt weird to walk by the shop today and not at least stop in. They told me it was ready and started to get it for me but I hesitated and said I'd be back for it later. I didn't return for it that day.

Back in the fall of 1993, I rolled my parent's car. It was a jarring wreck for me and the first time I realized just what damage those big machines are capable of doing. Afterwards, it was months before I drove again. Around six months later, my aunt Jeanne was driving my cousins and me from my grandparent's old farm house to their new one. She pulled over on the side of the country road and told me I was going to drive. She didn't reason with me and she didn't ask, she just told me that this was enough and it was time that I drove again. I always appreciated that.

I felt like I needed that kind of push with my bike. It's only been a little over a week but I have noticed how I pause at cyclists now, wondering how they can be so care-free and if they know that their bike can turn on them and cause them great pain. However, I couldn't leave my bike at the shop forever and I knew that I wouldn't get back on it again for quite some time if I just didn't go for it, like jumping in the deep end of the pool. I just needed to ride again without putting too much weight into the situation.

Fortunately, I found it emotionally easy to do. Once I was back on, it felt so very natural...until my tailbone started to hurt. Physically, I'm not ready for it yet. I left work early today, putting my bike on the bus and heading to the pharmacy to refill my pain pill prescription (for the first time. I've never renewed a prescription.). I hated not being able to ride the bike to the doctor's office but at least I know that emotionally, I'm ready. I just wish my body would hurry and agree with my mind.

brian

 

Years ago, when I came out, I was faced with the task of telling (almost) everyone. As much as possible, I tried to gather people together to tell them so I wouldn't have to do it so many times. It's really nerve-racking. 

I tried to tell as many people in person as I could but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to tell Brian in person. Brian, on the far left in the picture above, was my roommate in college. I started hanging out with him and Nate (in the middle) my sophomore year. After the three of us graduated from McCook Community College, we went to the UNK where Brian and I roomed together in a variety of houses and apartments for the next four years. After that, he moved to Hastings and I stayed in Kearney. We kept in contact but we were on different paths.

When I moved to Portland, I would still talk to him here and there but it wasn't regular. When I came out to some other friends from Kearney in person, I came back to Portland and called him. I chit-chatted for a bit and then just said, "So, I'm gay." Now, I imagine it's a bit of a shock (although most people weren't that surprised) but Brian seemed speechless and then, he said, "So, do you wear women's clothing or something now?" At the time, I was a little offended that this was his understanding of gay men so I said no. However, I was wearing women's pants but not in a cross-dressing fashion. I just liked the way they fit better.  So I said, "Well, wait, I guess I am wearing women's pants." I don't know if this was too much to process for him or if he just didn't want to think about how he had just unknowingly lived for several years but I haven't heard from him since. I should say that Brian isn't a bigot at all. We had a mutual friend in college who was out and it was fine. I think I tried to call him shortly afterwards and was unsuccessful. I also sent him a letter, saying that I would like to hear from him and I never did.

It's always bothered me how he reacted and how I should have handled the situation better. He was on my mind last night because it was his birthday so I had a dream about him. In my dream, we were meeting at a restaurant. I was meeting Nate (who was totally fine with it and whom I still keep in contact with) and we found out Brian was there. His big brother (who is non-existent because Brian is the oldest in his family) was there and said that it would be okay for me to talk to Brian. We had a really good talk and he got to ask some questions, very much like I remembered Brian would have and I got the chance to explain why I hadn't told him earlier.  I woke up feeling refreshed and at ease like I finally had closure on the situation.

What else?

I knew I wanted to write this post and I knew that I wanted to use the above picture. I decided to break down and buy a scanner today. I got a Epson Perfection V500 after reading several good reviews on-line. I scanned in a lot of photos from McCook and then some from Hastings (the video store) and the Archway. It was nice looking through those old photos and sharing the memories with friends via facebook.

Yesterday, I also went to Andrew's to take care of his cat and climbed out onto the roof with her for my new thing. And I ate the BBQ sandwich at Eastside Deli. That's my new regular place.

net rippin'

Today I watched Ashes play with the soccer team the Net Rippers at Delta Park (my first time there) with Victory. Bastard also played but they were at the same time and the Net Rippers' game had seating. If my ribs and tailbone didn't hurt so bad, I think I would've gotten a lot more into it. It was still fun though and it was a nice lazy thing to do on a Sunday.

a decade passed

A lot can happen in ten years. Ten years ago, I pulled into Portland with a carload of items and checked into the Economy Motel on Interstate Ave. I was unsure what I was going to do but I knew I was going to make it here even though I didn't have friends, family, a job, a house, money, or even my dog with me.

Now, I'm celebrating with my good friends outside of my home in the street with my dog. I love it when a plan comes together.

I can't say that I always knew that I would make it but I have to say that I was determined. There are many roads, many choices, many chances, and many instances of good fortune that have led me to where I'm at now. This is the reason that I don't believe in regret.If I had made some different choices along they way like coming out of the closet sooner or getting out of Nebraska sooner, my life would be a lot different and I wouldn't want that. I love everything about right now. Well, maybe I would have gone a little slower down that hill last Monday and not wrecked my bike but live and learn.

I'd like to think that I made more positive steps today. Not only did I have a handful of my good friends over to the house today to celebrate my 10 years in Portland but it was also our block party day. Over five years ago, I came to Sophia's first block party here. Last year, there really wasn't a party so I was excited to see that we were having one this year. Chad, one of the neighbors across the street was organizing it. There are two couples across the street who I had never really been introduced to before today but I recognize from seeing them around every single day. Today, I made some cookies for the party and went and introduced myself. I talked to Shannon and Casey for quite a while. I also talked to Matt from down the street and Robert who lives directly across from me. I love this neighborhood and I've only met the neighbors who border us before today. Now it feels more like a community. Now I can wave politely or greet my neighbors with some familiarity without there being this awkwardness of not having been properly introduced. Now, I feel more at home.

Also, Dean was quite at home laying in the middle of the street that was blocked off as long as his bed was there and people were sitting around him. He's so adorable.

What else?
Andrew and I headed to the Belmont Street Fair with Dean today and I bought a tshirt with the design below which I love. It's available at lonelydinosaur.com.

momos and masu

Today I met Andrew and Bastard downtown for happy hour at MoMos and then sushi and sake at Masu. It was my first time at both places. They were each decent places for drinks and food but they have distinct downtown vibes about them and I'm definitely a southeasterner.

What else?
I'm also a bus person. Since I've been injured and my bike's in the shop, I've been taking the bus and car2go. I thought taking the bus was just a common experience for anyone who lives in inner Portland but it's a very foreign concept to my co-worker Erin. She and I had to bus to Beaverton this afternoon for a training. It's just odd to see someone who expects the bus driver to give them change.

damage report

This week has primarily been me recovering from Monday's accident. On Tuesday, I went to the doctor to get some pain meds. I saw a new PA, Ms Sellers who took good care of me. She said I may have broken ribs but they couldn't really do anything about it anyway so there's no point in getting x-rays. This is the third instance in which I have broken at least one rib so I'm familiar with not getting x-rayed. They did x-ray my thumb though which was not broken. I got my pain-killers which is what I came for.

I didn't sleep at all on Monday night. I was in too much pain and when I did start to nod off, I would envision my bike tire skidding off the road or hitting a wall. It was terrifying and I absolutely hated it. Therefore, I was not only busted up but also sleep deprived and felt no shame about only working for two hours.

Today, I took my bike in to Seven Corners. Corey gave me an estimate of $160. I need bike insurance. I also tried a new med that the doc recommended.


I'm looking forward to feeling well again one day.

the wreck

 And things were going so well.

Andrew and I were on a long bike ride, heading towards the Canby Ferry. I found the route online but the route led us out of the way. I thought I was being smart by finding a road that cut out a lot of the excessive mileage. The road was SW Petes Mountain Road. We couldn't bike up it because it was just too steep and a little treacherous. Going down felt awesome for a while. I should have been a little more cautious when I saw the "Slow. 10MPH" curves. I looked for a second off to the countryside and thought, "This is gorgeous," and then thought "Oh shit, pay attention to the road." Right then, my back tire fishtailed to the left and my front tire went to the right and I flew off Superman style onto the side of the road.

It happened in a matter of seconds but it felt like 15 minutes or so to me. I hit the ground facedown with my hands and arms in front of me. Somehow my bike tumbled in front of me and crashed against the fence. I lifted up my head and saw the front bike tire pop and my bike collapse a little more. I looked down and saw a small puddle of blood in front of my face. I could see though so that was good. I could also move my fingers and toes and that was good too. I couldn't breathe easily though. Andrew biked up shortly afterwards as I had gotten ahead of him. My priority at that point was conveying to him that I was okay.

Some time later, a physical therapist biked up and was able to assess me. He determined that I was okay to roll over eventually and I knew that I wouldn't need to go to the hospital since nothing seemed to be broken except some ribs. I used my phone to pinpoint my location and I messaged that to Ashes, asking him to pick me up. I eventually and painfully stood up but I needed to not be laying in the dirt anymore.

Ashes came and picked me up and drove me home. Xbox stayed with me while I cleaned my wounds, offering to help but really was helping just by talking to me while I was doing it. Andrew ran out to get more medical supplies. My knees and elbows were the worst. I was worried about my face and head but I ended up with a small mark on the bridge of my nose and a half-inch cut on my forehead. Luckily, I was wearing my bike gloves which completely saved my wrists (and I was also wearing my helmet). The hydrogen peroxide stung a bit but I feel 100x better after I cleaning myself up.

My bike is screwed up pretty bad. My front tire is taco-ed and I think my back tire might also be a bit bent. Also, my pink bike bell was shattered. However, my new-ish solar-powered front light was unharmed. I'll be hurting tomorrow but I still plan on going to work because I have a lot to do. This wreck wasn't fun but it wasn't as bad as it could be. I'll be thrilled if this is the worst bike accident I ever have.

muddling aroung

 Three day weekends are the best because they allow for days like this. Looking at my blog, it's easy to discern my weekend schedule wherein my time is divided somewhat evenly between Dean, Andrew and my housework. I did housework today but then I set aside the second half of the day to doing nothing but hanging out with friends I don't hang out with often enough.

Justin, Jen (Miss Ample Snacks), and I got mojito fixing and snacks and made mojitos in the park. It was a nice chill time. Bastard, Jesse, Gail and Beth joined us later. It makes me wish that all weekends were three days long (or that I was unemployed).

What else?
I tackled the bathroom hard today. As I said on my twitter, It's me vs the bathroom today. May the odds be ever in my favor. #TheCleaningGames

it'll be anarchy

Andrew's going on vacation in a few weeks and I'm going to watch Maria while he's gone. I'd like to be able to hang out with her more but I have my own needy pet at home so I figured I could put those hands together by bringing Dean to Andrew's place to visit now while Andrew's still here. Dean likes cats that don't run from him or attack him and Maria luckily isn't one of either of those. She backed up into the attic and held the stairs by growling at him. Then she slowly creeped into the living room, making his roaming area smaller. Eventually, Dean just sat between Andrew and me. When he tried to get up, Maria would growl and he would sit back down. It reminded me of when Loki used to put Dean in a corner and they lived together successfully for 7 years. I'm not saying that Dean and Maria (and therefore Andrew and I) are going to live together anytime soon.

What else?
We went for a small bike ride down to Sellwood and biked around the Waverly neighborhood which is the oddest little gated community around. It's very suburban and fancy. 

the gang at the game

When we all went to Oneanta, Andrew had mentioned that he had a friend years and years ago who was always taking pictures of all of their friends, almost to an annoying level. However, many years later, he started uploading those pictures and was able to share those moments which all of his friends thought were lost and they were very grateful to be able to relive those times.

Tonight was one of those nights that I knew I'd want to capture. I don't think Jesse has been to a game before and I haven't been to a MLS Timber's game with my friends (except for the reserve games) ever either. Plus it was an awesome game that we won!

I also walked back downtown with Bastard from the game so he got to show me his work at the courthouse while we retrieved his bike.

What else?
On Tuesday, August 28th, I helped Victory haul her art project from PCC to Al's studio and then I helped haul Al's band equipment to Laughing Horse Bookstore where Dominic repaid me for the favors. It was fun just to hang out with everyone and to be able to help.

On Wednesday, August 29th, I ate a the Denny's in Wilsonville and I felt like I needed to shower afterwards. Yes, I'm a food snob but that crap was gross.

On Thursday, August 30th, I contacted people through Craigslist about getting tickets for the game. I also wrapped my brake-line around a pole in the Corridor because I spaced out while listening to the Nerdist podcast (my new favorite podcast). I know I said earlier that it was safe and I will pay a little more attention now. Still, it's an easy fix and Corey fixed it already for me.

I ended up getting onto the Facebook page Timber's Ticket Exchange which was a lot easier than trying to contact and wait for a reply from Craigslist posters.

the word of the savage

I typically listen to music when I bike. Some people consider it unsafe but then again, some of those people will talk on their cell phone while they drive so I don't care. Instead of music today, I listened to the Savage Love podcast while biking 40 miles round trip to one of my stores for work. Since 95% of my ride is on bike paths, it's safe and very entertaining. I've never downloaded podcasts onto my phone before since I didn't have the available GBs. However, my new phone has a lot more memory so I have room for delicious new material. Jen mentions Dan Savage enough that I decided I could try his podcast. I think I ended up listening to four of his shows just today while riding around everywhere. I love the idea of not just listening to music (although there is a time for that) but listening and learning at the same time.

The above picture is from a debate that he mentions on his podcasts wherein Brian Brown challenged him to a debate about the word of the bible. Brian Brown got his ass stomped. Watch it here.

What else?
We didn't get a package delivered today but Dean still decided to turn down my bed by evenly pulling down my sheets and quilt halfway down my bed and taking the pillows that I put on a shelf every morning (so he can't get fur all over them) and setting them properly side by side on my bed. Oh, then he took half the shoes out of my closet. What an odd fellow. Because I was a little bewildered by him,  I made him pose for a dog-shaming picture which I submitted to the site.

national dog day

Since I gave up my car months ago, I've been meaning to get Dean into the bike cart. Really, he's been doing well walking so it hasn't been an issue to get him to places. Also, Bobby the cat will most likely beat him up if I take him back to Long Haus so there hasn't been a need for him to travel far. However, today was the SouthEast Sunday Parkways and the path passes close to my house. Also, it's National Dog Day (they only get one day?!?!) so I thought today's the best possible day to try to get him to ride in the cart again.

If I had to grade it as a pass or a fail, we barely passed today and that's only because he redeemed himself at the end. He jumped out of the cart maybe 14 or 15 times, nearly injuring himself a few times. I have to say that I think it's the hills. He hates riding up or down a hill. On the flat roads, he was remarkably good. But for the hills, he was frustratingly impossible. Another cyclist recommended getting a Burley cart for him which I will probably do. However, I think that he really just needs to be able to see me so a cargo bike would probably be best but a cart's cheaper. I will make this happen though, one way or another.

What else?
Andrew and I walked around the Hawthorne Street Fair which was delightful. On the walk, we saw this sign which I kind of loved:

the orchard ride

Laying in an apple orchard on a late summer evening after biking sounds as delightful as it was. I love this time of year.

We biked to Powell Butte today and walked our bikes up to the top from the Springwater Corridor. There, we played our card game and sat and talked. It was just beautiful.

Afterwards, we biked down (which was a bit steep at parts but very thrilling). It could have been the French countryside by the looks of it in parts. We ended up craving margaritas so we went to the closest place (thank you, Siri) which was La Costita where we had gigantic margaritas which were much more sugar than booze. Surprisingly, the food was pretty good.

We concluded the fun day with an awesome ride through the Springwater Corridor at night. I've never ridden it at night before and it was the perfect night for it. The air was just crisp enough to be invigorating and the crickets were singing and all of the other people who I'd normally have to navigate around on the trail were non-existent. It was fabulous!

What else?
On Wednesday, August 22nd, I made up for my jerkishness the day before and met Andrew for a nice dinner at Circa 33. I had the drink A Drop of Poison for the 1st time.


On Thursday, August 23rd, I homemade a new veggie pizza with tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, and goat cheese in an olive base. It was okay but I should have let the dough sit out longer. I also fixed the screen door latch again by switching the handle with the old screen door and getting creative. It works now!

On Friday, August 24th, I invited Andrew over to the house so we could watch a movie on Xbox's TV while X and Sophia are in Boston. We've been dating for 16 months now and this is the first time we've watched a movie at home together. It was nice but I kept falling asleep because that's what I do.

dog day afternoon

I don't see how parents do it. How do you hold this responsibility constantly? I guess kids are generally smarter than dogs and wouldn't destroy an office and then hide in the closet just because the FedEx guy opened the screen door to put a package in between the doors.

After I saw this, I sort of lost it. I don't mean that I lost my temper but I had lost my patience. It was so initially frustrating (why is he doing this? did i make a mistake moving him over a year ago? can i really support myself and be happy by working out of home so i can at least help keep him from doing this again possibly??) that I knew I should have just excused myself from everything else tonight just to fret over it all and come up with some answers.

Instead, I arrived at my date with Andrew and was just preoccupied.I was bordering on cranky about the fact that I had to deal with it. I had an awesome soup at Blue Moon Lounge downtown while waiting for a Science Pub at the Mission Theater. We went to the theater to discover that they were at capacity. This added disappointment and confusion to my frustration and crankiness and I had to tell Andrew that I was done and I needed to go stew over it all.

It was the best idea because I didn't want to take it out on him and I needed time to think about it and properly process it. I felt bad about leaving tho because I've never left a date before and it just seems rude. Anyway, I did get a chance to ponder it with my beer and hammock and book. I realized I can't be mad at the dog because he's obviously just scared and that's not his fault. I'm not going to pay for therapy so I'll just employ some harm-reduction. I asked everyone to not get packages delivered to the house. I'll ensure that the office and shower doors are each closed properly so he can't go in there if he wants to hide. I'll also leave the bathroom door open so he can choose to go in there and just shut the door if he must hide. I've been home when we've gotten a delivery, unbeknownst to the delivery guy so I know that the delivery guy isn't deliberately frightening him. If I didn't, my first step would be to survail my house to see if he's doing something messed up.

So, yeah, I'm good. Now I just have to make it okay with Andrew tomorrow.

What else?
I finished the Hunger Games series today. I burned through book 1 and book 2 but took my time with 3 because I enjoyed the storytelling and I was a little less ready to let it go. It's a surprisingly radical series that I'd definitely recommend for a fun summer week read. 

big girl

This sweet cat greeted Andrew and me as we exited the Reed Lake hike onto Reedway Lane near 39th St. She was probably the heaviest, most docile cat ever. If I was going to own a cat, I hope this is how she'd be.

What else?
Brunch at Detour for the 1st time. I remembered I don't like Frittatas.

After brunch and walk, we hung out with Andrew's friend/ex Mark and then the two of us (Andrew and I) went to grab food and play our game, Battleline. We play this game a lot and we've even developed our own names to recognize ways to win. And then we  made it a drinking game of sorts too but only in the respect that, if you win that way (by getting what we call a peacock cuz we're gay like that), you owe the other person a drink. Andrew got one shortly after we named it and it's been a while but I finally got one today!

duty calls

On a weekend in August in Portland, there is any number of fun things to do. The rain is gone, the heat settles down and the days become our reward for putting up with the rough year-round weather. For example, on this weekend, they're holding the soapbox derby on Mt Tabor near my house. I've been invited by a handful of different people to attend with them but duty calls.

My friend Jen from Country Fair has a five year old son named Sam. Earlier this year, Sam was diagnosed with brain cancer. He's been in the hospital for months now undergoing chemo. While he's in good hands in Doernbecher's Children's Hospital, his mom has been with him the whole time and they will be facing a lot of bills when they get out so my friend Stacie organized a yard sale for this weekend to help raise funds for him.

It began early in North Portland this morning so I had to wake up earlier, load up last minute donations on my bike, and head up there but it was all totally doable and I was glad to do it to help out. Cancer is such a daunting disease and there's nothing I can do about that but I could help in this way. I got there this morning, set some stuff up and helped manage the rush that followed shortly after we opened. A lot of awesome people donated, including the widow of a guy who owned a whole lot of new and nice athletic wear. Two of the first guys to come to the sale were THRILLED and bought a lot of it up before we really had time to research the value. However, they also gave us some tips on what to price some of the other items so it all worked out. In one day, we made around $800 and there's still another day of sale to go!


If you'd like to donate to Sam's fund, here's a link to a site that was set up to help raise money for him. Thank you in advance.

Even if they hadn't needed help at the yard sale, another friend needed help cleaning out her house that she is selling since she was recently widowed. It can be a shitty world sometimes but it's nice to have friends that will pitch in and help out. Plus these hard times remind us to remember and value the good times.

What else?

 A good number of people showed up in the early afternoon to help out at the yard sale so I was able to leave a little bit early. I managed to get home and have enough time to walk Dean up to Mt Tabor quick to catch the very end of the soap box derby. Apparently, Sophia and Jen took him up to the derby last year so I was happy to be able to keep his tradition. I wish I could have seen more of it but there's always next year. I don't regret a bit of today.

robot in my pocket

 During Trek in the Park, my camera on my phone stopped working. Then earlier this week, my music controls stopped working. This all appears to be residual from the water damage. Sigh, I knew the rice trick was just too good to be true.

I tried to put up with it and I even thought I could get it fixed but then last Sunday, when we were taking a break from helping Gail move, I got to play with Bastard's Iphone 4S that had Siri and I knew that was what I wanted.

It's weird having a phone that I can not only dictate to but one that can process things through for me. I can tell it to remind me that I have an appointment coming up when I return to the office. I can tell it that Sophia is my housemate and it will remember that relationship. I'm sure there are a lot of other uses for it that I have time to discover too.

I do have a twinge of guilt about not holding onto my old phone longer but I may try to get it fixed now and then sell it off. I just don't want it to be completely scrapped when it's not a complete piece of junk (like the droid was).

What else?
Sophia came to my work today to teach my clients some yoga. I enjoyed it and I think it was fun for her and the clients. Afterwards, we went to Pacific Pie company for my first sit-down lunch there. I also tried my new favorite kombucha, KooKooLan.