Back in the fall of 1993, I rolled my parent's car. It was a jarring wreck for me and the first time I realized just what damage those big machines are capable of doing. Afterwards, it was months before I drove again. Around six months later, my aunt Jeanne was driving my cousins and me from my grandparent's old farm house to their new one. She pulled over on the side of the country road and told me I was going to drive. She didn't reason with me and she didn't ask, she just told me that this was enough and it was time that I drove again. I always appreciated that.
I felt like I needed that kind of push with my bike. It's only been a little over a week but I have noticed how I pause at cyclists now, wondering how they can be so care-free and if they know that their bike can turn on them and cause them great pain. However, I couldn't leave my bike at the shop forever and I knew that I wouldn't get back on it again for quite some time if I just didn't go for it, like jumping in the deep end of the pool. I just needed to ride again without putting too much weight into the situation.
Fortunately, I found it emotionally easy to do. Once I was back on, it felt so very natural...until my tailbone started to hurt. Physically, I'm not ready for it yet. I left work early today, putting my bike on the bus and heading to the pharmacy to refill my pain pill prescription (for the first time. I've never renewed a prescription.). I hated not being able to ride the bike to the doctor's office but at least I know that emotionally, I'm ready. I just wish my body would hurry and agree with my mind.
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