When I came out to my parents in 2003, I waited til the last moment in my visit home. I went home for my sister's wedding so it was hard to bring it up without taking any focus off her occasion. Also, it just wasn't something that I really knew how to say. Fear of the unknown reaction and potential disappointment had me all twisted up inside until I finally realized I just had to blurt it out. When I did, it went better than I could have expected (love you, Mom and Dad!) and I felt like floating because the dread of it all had weighed on me so heavily. Today, I had to have my second most uncomfortable conversation.
I've broken up with boyfriends, quit jobs and stood up to homophobic crowds. This was still harder. I decided a little bit ago that I wanted to move in with my friend Sophia. She has a room open and I believe that as single people in our mid-thirties, we're both at similar places in our lives and this is what I need to do right now. I also adore her, she adores Dean and she lives in a great neighborhood.
However, living with her means that I can't live with my current housemates whom I have lived with for seven years. That's a significant time investment. Really, I haven't lived in a house for seven years straight since third grade. Wow! Not only will it be an adjustment moving to a different location but not living with Ashes, Victory and Raven (and the cats) will be a hard adjustment for everybody. It's not a decision that I made lightly and there was nothing negative that brought it on. I love them all. I just feel that I need to try something new.
Again, I've been dreading this conversation. However, I wanted to let them know so they have time to prepare for the change. It happened today that they were both home and Raven wasn't. (If you're a Portland person, don't tell him yet because he doesn't know. We figured it would be best to have a plan first before telling him.) I just blurted it out. It wasn't easy but, like my coming out conversation, it wasn't a complete surprise to them either.
Anyway, the next few months will bring about a lot of change for me. I can't say that it will all be for the best because I don't know that. I'm looking forward to it and dreading it all at the same time for a number of reasons. Mostly because it's something new and unknown.
What else?
Reuben month is over and I'm a couple of pounds heavier. I finished with a bang today, having three Reubens; one from Chaos and two different kinds from Vita. The cool thing was that they were the best three Veggie Reubens of the month too.
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