what I'm looking for

Years ago, my friend Shawn and I were sitting around being stupid and he asked me what is my end-goal, like what would my ideal situation or setup be. Back then, when I envisioned absolute peace and tranquility, I envisioned me having the time and the tools (a computer) with which to sit back and write. I also envisioned having a house with a dog and a yard so I could run out there and chill with him whenever I got tired of writing. What can I say, I'm pretty damn simple that way. Now, I have time, a computer, a backyard and a dog. I should be more satisfied.

Today, my new thing was going to Virginia's Cafe in downtown Portland. It's a charming little place with a lot of ambiance and I went there with the perfect person to share that with me. We drank some warm drinks after a cold bike ride and talked about expectations. The conversation went from A to B to G (as good talks tend to do) and we came to whether or not I'm happy. I had to stop and think about it.

There is so much crap in the world that is wrong and it's hard to be happy under these conditions but, aside from that (which is a LOT), I think that I am happy. Screw all the expectations. I think I have what I want now. The American ethos of "More is always better," is so pervasive that humbleness and satisfaction are often unheard of. It's refreshing. There are still things I would like to do and ways I would like to see things go but I'm not going to neglect what is today while waiting on what may be tomorrow.