I've usually had more female friends than guy friends. That's just the way it is. I guess I've usually been more comfortable around girls. When I came out, I had several good girl friends back in Nebraska and just a handful of guys. Out of those guys, aside from family, only one still talks to me.
It's weird and I've never really thought much about it until today. My guy friend from the Midwest finally got around to moving to Portland last year. We've been playing phone tag for a while. With the holidays and all that they involve, it's easy for me not to call someone back right away. Anyway, so today, I called him and actually got a hold of him. We got the chance to talk for a while.
I don't know if it's because guys are worse at communication (typically) or it's because I was better at communication with the ladies (which was also typical) but it still is a mighty coincidence that almost none of the guys talk to me anymore. It hurts a little. I understand that they might be feeling lied to but I think I could more easily chalk it up to a slight case of homophobia in the purest sense of the word. I think they're afraid. I would never ever think that any of them as a bigot but I'm pretty sure that I'm one of the few gays they've ever been close to in a friend-like way.
So I don't hold it against them. I'm just really thankful for talking to a guy that knew me before I came out. I'm thrilled he's in Portland and I'm thrilled with the chance to reconnect.
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