the sound of the bottom

There are a few things that go with me everywhere. I always have Aleve, my camera and my I-pod with me wherever I go. I can’t walk without my I-pod. Yesterday, it was the kind of day where I leave work early, give the finger to the dog park and go see the real birds. I grabbed my I-pod and took Dean to Oaks Bottom (if more dog parks looked like the Bottom, maybe I would go there). For the first ¼ of the walk, I was listening to my music. However, the sounds of the birds were so loud that they piqued my curiosity enough to make me take out my earphones. The sounds of the birds and the frogs and what-have-you were so soothing and crazy, they surpassed anything I had on my playlist.

I am from a generation raised on pop culture and portable music. Pop culture movies have taught me that the coolest scenes need to have a soundtrack and portable music has made that possible. I do a lot of walking through the city where cars pollute the sound waves along with the air so my I-pod makes sense most of the time. However, it’s nice to soak up the silence or the sweet song of nature whenever it is available. I walked a different path yesterday at the Bottom after the bird sanctuary and I made a conscious decision not to put on the earphones again until I was back around traffic. It was refreshing. I'll have to tune in more often.

running on empty

I discovered another benefit of having a scooter over a car today. When you run out of gas, you're not stranded and screwed. You just have to walk your ride to the nearest gas station.

Cars have people at their mercy too easily. In order to really screw a person over, a car just has to stop. Not only is the person not going to get where they're going but it's going to leave them stranded with a large heavy chunk of metal they are responsible for and have to move. When you have a 1991 Lincoln Towncar Executive, it's no small feat to move it. Imagine my delight today when I could walk my ride with ease up the sidewalk to the nearest gas station. My gas gauge is broken so I had no idea I was that low. Luckily, it was an easy fix and a light-hearted story instead of being a fiasco. Go scooters!!!

(The pic is a faulty representation of my day. The gas station didn't run out of gas. I did. However, it's just a matter of time before it happens. The gas station nearest to my house alternates weekly between running out of gas and forgetting to renew their liquor license. They're human that way.)

the file den

At one point in my life, I know I was good with computers. I think it was when the school library just got Apple IIe's in. I remember being really intimidated by the Apple macs when we first got them. The only thing I was comfortable doing was changing the background image which was a small image (10x10 pixels or something like that) and emptying out the trash. I liked doing that because our computer science teacher had a program on all the computer where Oscar the Grouch would come out of the trash can and sing, "I love tra-a-a-ash!" whenever you threw something away. Unfortunately, it resulted in numerous necessary programs being thrown away just so people could hear Oscar sing.

Anyhow, I've slowly built up my computer skills again. I am still wary and hesitant to try anything new. For example, Justin sent me a thirteen (!) step process for compressing my photos from Europe and then posting the compressed RAR file online. I sat on these instructions for a good month before doing anything about them. Well, tonight, I finally did it and it wasn't as difficult as it looked at first. If you would like to check out the 351 files, you can download them through the following links but I think you have to have Win RAR on your computer first. You can download a "demo" of it that you can use for free.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/2/27/1783896/2007%20Europe%20Tour%20resized.part1.rar

http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/2/27/1783896/2007%20Europe%20Tour%20resized.part2.rar

out of the office

When I worked retail, any chance that I got to go outside on the clock was a golden opportunity. Going outside usually meant following the smokers on their break or going on lunch. Now, my job requires that I leave the office a certain number of times per week. Hell, it’s gotten to be where I usually enjoy the days where I don’t have to go anywhere more than I do the days when I have to be out and about.

Today I decided to do it different though. I don’t believe that it actually says anywhere in my job description that I have to use motorized transport when I go out but that the accepted norm. I needed to go downtown today for a meeting but I didn’t feel like driving even with my scooter. So I rode my bike. I bet I could have raced someone and made it there quicker when you factor in finding parking. Plus I don’t have to pay for bike parking!

It was an awesome day to bike and a great day to be downtown. My meeting lasted up until lunchtime. Then I took some extra time and just walked about the city. It was a great way to start the week.

love'n the off-leash area

Another day, another embarrassment at the dog park.

This is one reason why I don't usually go to dog parks. I usually go to parks that aren't technically off-leash. When I moved to town, there were only a few off-leash spots in Portland parks. Then so sick SOB started putting poisonous hot dogs in bushes at Laurelhurst Park. They never caught the guy, even after he supposedly sent a communique to The Lucky Lab Brewery. In response, Portland decided to make off-leash areas in several more parks throughout the city. Portland values it's dogs.

Anyway, parks with off-leash areas are like roads with bike lanes. They usually mean nobody is going to screw with you if you stay in them but you have a lot more freedoms in areas without them. However, I decided Dean needed more canine socialization so we went to the Laurelhurst dog area. I know I've walked him around the park before but I don't remember heading to the off-leash area before. There, Horny McHumps-a-Lot found a black bulldog that he really dug to the point where I had to pull him off of the poor guy. Dean usually doesn't fancy non-human animals. He usually like guys that are wrestling around. At any rate, I don't think we'll be going back anytime soon.

songbirds

My very first kareoke song I believe was a duet with my friend Maureen. We sang Kung Fu fighting at the Backlot in Kearney, NE. It was awful...awfully fun I mean! My friend Chele hosted a kareoke night at a different bar so we'd frequent kareoke nights a lot. My favorite kareoke performance EVER was singing Baby Got Back in a cowboy bar in a college town on spring break after I came out to my friends. They had bass pumping and lights going and from the stage, I could see the dance floor packed and my friends Nett, Sarah and Scott in the front. It was awesome!

On Friday night, we went to Chopsticks to sing. I sang Adam Ant for the first time. Stand & Deliver is a tad bit too obscure for kareoke. I think that the key to a good song for me is something fun and familiar but not too common or predictable. Adam Ant didn't go over too well but I made up for it by packing the dance floor with George Michael's Faith. It's been one of my favorites. I would say I do it too much but then Dominic sang Mr Roboto which he also does often but at least he does it well!

farm-iliar

I went to a farm today outside Eagle Creek. Even though a highway wasn't that far away, the farm was off the beaten path enough for me to get a little homesick for my Grandmas. Being on a farm makes me want to eat some chili-spaghetti, watch a rerun of Walker Texas Ranger and go to bed at 8:30 pm. (Sleep when the chickens sleep.)

appethaizing

I've been sick for the past several days. When I'm sick, it's always hard for me to judge when I need to push myself past it and get better already. Today, I decided it was time to venture out and rejoin the world of the living.

After trying a few other places which were all busts, we decided to check out Appethaizing which is on SE 32nd and Division. I've passed this place by more times than I'll ever be able to count and I'm not quite sure why I never go in there. It's decent food at a reasonable bordering-on-cheap price with plenty of vegetarian options.

When we were there yesterday, Raven saw the above picture on their wall and remarked that it was a picture of the funnest day in the history of the world. I thought that was cute.

playing the cupid

Like most holidays, Valentines Day does absolutely nothing for me. However, I have to pretend like I care for the sake of my clients at work.

Yesterday, I helped them make valentines to give to their family or friends. Today, I had to play cupid for the grief-ridden guy from last week. He has a 'girlfriend' at the store he used to work at and he asked me if I could deliver a valentine for her. I was thinking it would just be a card but it ended up being this large bear and a super-sappy card that began with "I believe in love" and contained a long poem.

So I put on my best smile and did the deed. The girl really did like it and ran around and showed everyone. Despite the commercialism of the holiday, I was able to see the purest and most innocent intention of the day, the simple expression of one's affections. Funny thing is that I know he never ever calls her. :)

simply shorter but more intense

In the book, Good Omens, there is a character Newton who is described as very typical and rather dull. The authors illustrate their character's personality by saying, when he went in for a haircut, the most Newton could hope for is shorter hair. It made me realize that's me. When I get my haircut, I don't think of any crazy styles or dos. The point of me getting my haircut is just to get it shorter.

So today, after a new-to-me guy, Kelly, cut my hair, I decided to color it again. This is how I spice up my hair and save myself from "typical and dull." I went with a new color, intense auburn: sweet pepper. I'd like to think of myself as atypical. I think the red helps.

the first cup

I'm always willing to give the underdog a shot. In this case, I wandered into a new coffee shop Cellar Door Coffee Roasters on SE 11th and Harrison and found out that it was their first day open. They seem really nice and I hope they do well but they are another drop in an oversaturated market, especially in that area. Hell, when I stumbled upon them, I had just exited one coffee shop because it wasn't the one with the couches that I like. I was looking for another coffee shop and I walked by at least three others before I saw Cellar Door. Honestly, I wouldn't guess they'll be around for that long.

The one thing they got going for them is they are serving Chainbridge Bagels. Chainbridge is one of the very very few reasons to venture towards Clackamas. And now, I don't have to because Cellar Door is just blocks from my work place. So, I will support them while they are here.

i got the hook up

This is another pointless post that I'm only posting because I thought the title was witty and clever and I'm a big dork.

Unlike most queers, I don't sacrifice functionality for esthetics. We had an empty space and we had a need. We needed a spot to hang our helmets. We've needed one for a while but now that I've got a new helmet, I'm more concerned about scratching up the visor so I bought two packs of hooks instead. The hooks only cost six bucks (for four) but a new visor is $17 so I figured it be worth it in the long run. Plus it gets the helmets up and out of the way.

making my heart dance

I’m not big on Valentines Day but I love love love to dance so I went to a Valentines Day Dance Party at a friend's house and actually enjoyed myself. There was a synchronized dance competition first and then a rocking dance party with a great DJ who really pulled it all together very very well.

good grief

I haven’t dealt with grief a lot. I’ve lot very few people in my life and that’s the way I like it. Today, I had to play the part of a grief counselor to one of my clients. He was missing his parent who died a few years ago and he was feeling lost and alone. I realized that he lives on his own, has a personal agent that he sees maybe twice a year and an aunt and uncle outside the city so I was pretty much it. If he had problems, it was up to me to listen, offer the best advice and do something about it. It was overwhelming, knowing there were very few if any people I could turn to and say, “What can we do about his problems?” I was supposed to be the solution.

I ended up calling his personal agent and forcing her to meet with him because he needs help NOW. It was intense and emotionally draining. This guy hardly ever cries so today was quite a breakthrough because he has issues he needs to deal with. Afterwards, I was completely empty and it was only 11 am. Even though it was tough, I still wouldn’t trade the job for anything.

it's dead to me

Once upon a time, "punk" was slang for a queer. It was what some people called young guy who slept with an older guy. I've held that origin close when applying the term punk to myself. I'm not talking about my specific sexual habits but I'm talking about the broad use of the term punk to describe a queer. However, I'm no longer using "punk" as an applicable term for me. Those origins are gone and forgotten. Punk is dead.

Yesterday, I discovered that Limp Wrist (a widely known queer punk band) is playing a show in town with the Punk Rock Faggots (the straight fuckers from Beaverton who's fans continue to harass me even though our altercation happened two years ago). It was disheartening to find out because, despite the problems I've had with PRF and several other Portland punks, I've championed Limp Wrist as the punks that would school their asses. Finding out their playing together is a slap across the face and a knife in the chest but it only hurts if I care. Today, I no longer care.

The punk music scene here in town has had very few positive things (Riot Cop & MDC being among them) to come out of their apolitical, in-your-face, drunken, abusive recent past. Their ethos is "Fuck you. It's punk. If you're not offended, we're not doing our job." Therefore, writing these brats off is no big loss. I *heart* the cyber-punks, steam-punks and the bike punks as they seem to be subcultures that are doing it right. I'm over the music scene though. Give me the reaffirming gay heartbeat of techno anyday.

the superbored

A friend told me a story today about how she was invited to a friend’s houseboat for a party years ago. It turned out to be a superbowl party on a houseboat with an NFL coach and several players. I know that it would be a dream for some people to be at a superbowl party with an NFL coach and players but it would be a nightmare for me. Being stuck on a houseboat like that too for a football party would be like the last level of hell for me.

When I was in college, my roommate and I used to go over to my former high school classmate’s place for superbowl parties. I would just go to socialize and would spend most of the game in the kitchen with his wife talking about soap operas. Football is just too damn boring.

When I moved up to Portland and came out, I sort of made a vow to myself never to subject myself to another football game. I like soccer and hockey. Hell, I’d even watch basketball but not football. Well, today, I went to a superbowl party.

It was at some friends’ condo and more than half the people there didn’t care about the game so it was tolerable. Plus I got some good party cheese and veggie pate in the food box so circumstances were right for me to go. I could only sit through half of it though.

ready to strike

I was raised in a bowling alley. Well, I was practically raised in one. In Hartington, NE, my parents were at Cedar Lanes Bowling alley a lot! I can remember running around the bowling alley, hanging out in the bar in the basement and falling asleep on the bench where the lockers were. Overall, it was a lot of good memories. Bowling was one “sport” that I actually like. I compare it a lot to golf and by comparison, I like bowling a LOT more.

Throughout college, I would go to the Big Apple Bowl in Kearney NE, particularly on Cosmic Bowling nights. I’ve gotten so used to bowling that way that it has become difficult for me to bowl without a black-light, pumping dance music and other party lights.

I went to AMF Bowling Center on Powell for the first time tonight for their “Extreme” bowling which is just another name for Cosmic bowling. It was a whole lot of fun with the people that I went with and I need to do it more often. Maybe I’ll even get my own ball.