not in portland anymore

I've spent the weekend in Kansas, doing various new and different things because I don't get here that much. I came down for my sister's wedding five years ago. Before that, I paid her a visit seven years ago. Anyway, it's nice to see her new house finally and her cats and rabbit. Of course, it's nice to see my sister, brother-in-law and my two adorable (but quickly growing) nieces too. It's nice to visit. I just know I couldn't live here.

I am a Northwesterner. I live and value that label now. For one thing, it's damn humid down here! I am drenched just from walking to the car. With humidity comes mosquitoes which I can do without as well.

Then there's the culture of the Midwest. I'm told my plenty of people from Lawrence, Kansas that it's different there but I'd have to see it to believe it. Surprisingly there are vegetarian options here or at least veggie burgers on sales at the small health food stores and the huge box stores. But there's not much for a gay man to do.

While walking around my parent's hometown in Nebraska earlier in the week, I passed by a few farmer boys by a pickup outside a video store. They eye-balled me and one sneered. At first I didn't see what their issue was. Then I realized that I was nicely color cordinated and my purse matched my sneakers. I high-tailed it out of there casually and didn't really feel like leaving the house without an escort. After all, I only know four other people in town besides my parents.

Here in Emporia, KS, I thought things would be a little better because it's a college town. However, the gay and lesbian shelves are completely dwarfed by the five or six bookcases of Christian history, Christian fiction, Christian kids books, Christian cookbooks, etc. And then there's Hancock.

I didn't want to see this movie. However, I went along with the crowd and followed my family there. Predictably, the movie fell short of enjoyable and everything decent was in the previews. I could have looked past all of that though except for the homophobia in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Will Smith (Hancock) was being shown comics of superheroes by Jason Bateman (cute PR guy/Family man). He asked Smith what he thought of when he saw the pictures. Smith responded by repeating "Homo." He ended with calling the blond superhero a "Norwegian Homo" which Bateman agreed with.

Now, this isn't the worst thing I've heard in movies by a longshot. However, it really hit me because I was in a theater in Kansas with feeling no support whatsoever, surrounded by people who were laughing at the Fag Joke. In a more liberal setting, I would've felt like people were laughing with us queers. However, this was definitely a laughing-at-us scenario. THe only saving grace was that I was with my family who love and support me. Still I was uncomfortable and mad. And I am never watching another damn Will Smith movie again.

I miss home.