bontiac ponneville

I drove my new car today. It's a lot bigger than the Metro but it runs a lot smoother too. As per usual with me and cars, my first priority was the stereo. I took it to Best Buy where they installed my previous car's stereo and even hooked it up to the controls on the steering wheel.

There are some features I don't like about the car but it was free and I'm very grateful and glad to have it. After I drive it around for a while longer, I'll start to feel more comfortable in it.

moulton falls hike

This weekend, Andrew went to his brother's in Reno to get me a new used car. My Geo Metro is about to break down. The transmission is failing and the brakes don't inspire confidence so it was time for a new car. His brother coincidentally asked him a few weeks ago if he wanted the Pontiac Bonneville that he was getting rid of and he initially turned it down but then asked me. I said sure, why not, and he flew down there this weekend to drive it back for me.

I had just filled the Geo up with gas tho so I had a full tank to use up before donating the car to the Oregon Humane Society so Ava and I took a road trip. We went on the Moulton Falls Hike. It was a quick hike, maybe 5 miles in and out but Ava got to run free for the most part and we made it to a great spot on the river for her to wade through the water. I want to go back sometime with Andrew and just hang out there for an afternoon.

why i bike naked

 

I've had body issues for a while. Actually, I've pretty much always had body issues: too pale, too hairy, too fat in the gut, too skinny in the arms, etc.  I've gone in and out of cycles of what I don't like about my body but there's almost always something. I can think of very few times in my life where I've said that I'm happy with how I look. But that's the aim of the mass media and their advertisers, right? We're not supposed to feel happy with how we look. We're supposed to feel unsatisfied and willing to make purchases to either make ourselves look better or at least feel better.

Within the last several months, I've put on about 10 lbs. I could say that it's muscle but I know I'd just be lying to myself. I blame the car and Ava for needing me to use to the car to get home on my lunch and let her out daily. I blame my apathy and pizza and my relationship for being so comfortable and stable that it's made me lazy and complacent about how I look. I'm glad I don't have to try to impress others to attract them in hopes of finding a mate but I do want to feel better about myself so I bike naked.

Last year, after the World Naked Bike Ride, a friend of mine said that he would have gone but he's been having some body issues. And he's in great shape! I told him that the ride is the best way to help you with body issues and I had to remind myself of that recently in preparation for going on the ride. On the WNBR, you see people of all genders, ages and body types with varying levels of mobility get out there, strip off their clothes (to whatever degree they feel comfortable) and say, "This is who I am!" I saw people heavier than I am, with less muscle than I have. I saw bears hairier than I am. I saw kids and the elderly. And I saw joy and pride in them all. I quickly stopped comparing myself to others and just enjoyed the moment. If they can all be proud of their unique bodies, why can't I? 

Yes, there were some people that looked like Abercrombie models but there was many many more people who did not. And I found most of those people to be attractive because confidence is sexy. It should also be noted that I do not find Abercrombie models to be sexy. I like my fellas older and fuzzier. :)

It was a great ride. The spirits were high and the route was easy. I do wish we hadn't taken Division St but it ended up being okay. Jesse and I were ride buddies so I wasn't alone. The ride ended on the waterfront but we saw people still going back up Salmon and decided to join them. They tapered off here and there and then, around Salmon and 35th, we lost most of them. We rode for a few more blocks and Jesse turned around to go home. I pulled over on the corner of Taylor and Caesar Chavez to get my clothes back on but a naked couple biked up behind me, talking about riding the same way I was going so I biked naked in front of them. They turned away on 50th and Lincoln so I rode just two blocks to 52nd naked on my own before I pulled over to put some clothes on.

Normally, as soon as I've left the ride, I usually put on underwear at least if not get fully dressed but it was hot and I was comfortable naked which is a pretty awesome state to be in.

take me home

 

Today I drove back to Denver International Airport from Nebraska to catch my flight home. My new thing was stopping in a Safeway at Ft Morgan to use their restroom.

The flight back was way better than the flight down. I wish Alaska Airlines flew back to NE. I would get rid of my Frontier card then and just start using them.

When I got back to Portland, I took the MAX down to the Glisan and 60th stop and walked over to Normandale Park where Andrew and Ava were. Andrew saw me walking up and let Ava off leash to come greet me. She jumped and cried like I've never heard her cry before. It was really sweet to know that she missed me so much. Everyone should be able to come home to such a greeting!

fathers' day

This is the first year I've been home for Fathers' Day Weekend since I left Nebraska in 2002. Typically, I come home in July for the 4th and Hayleigh's birthday. Also, Portland Pride has always been on Fathers' Day Weekend except for this year for some reason. I had a trip planned back through accidental calendar confusion on my part for the weekend as my family and I were all going to head to a cabin in the Black Hills. Since my dad had a minor stroke, my mom cancelled the cabin but I came home as planned anyway just to see my dad (and the rest of the family).

He seems to be doing well. We learned a new card game (Five Crowns) this weekend and he not only picked up on the rules but won a few games and was consistently on top. I've never been so happy to lose at cards! Speech is his main issue and I'm happy to see that my mom is making him talk more, giving him topics and telling him to speak on them.

Today, we didn't do a lot, mostly just sat around playing cards. I got to babysit Ethan while the rest of the family went to church. He's a really smart and funny kid. It's cool to watch him try to figure things out, like how he was spraying the hose, turned it on underside of his ball-cap and shot water onto it and it would come back down on his face. He would stop and be stunned for a second, and then would realize that he liked it so he would do it again and for longer. :)

For my new thing, I changed out my mom's bike tube with my dad providing some assistance. I love changing out tubes and patching them. We waited until late so I didn't feel like patching it and we had an extra tube anyway so I just changed it out. It's kinda cool that I was able to do this with my dad. When I was a first or second grader, he would force me to ride my bike and I would throw a fit but I managed to learn. My love of bikes didn't really manifest until I was in Portland and saw how easier they were for transportation but I don't think I would have ever considered them if it hadn't been for my dad.

rollin' on the river

 

It's been a weird couple of days. I've been getting a lot of texts from my family with varying reports of progress and there's nothing I can do about it so I have a lot of guilt. I'm headed back to Nebraska next weekend on a pre-planned trip and I'll be able to assess for myself what I can do for the family. Until then, all I can do is move along. Today, I did that on a boat.

We've had this boat ride booked for months now. I wasn't sure what to expect. I think that most of the delight for me was just being on the Portland Spirit, floating down the river. I can't believe that I've been in a city that is ruled by riverways for 13 years now and this was my very first time on a boat on the Willamette River!

The Big Gay Boat Ride was my only real Pride experience this year. We skipped the parade in order to stay home with Ava so she wouldn't be kenneled the whole day. The festivities on the boat were great. The drag performers were awesome and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were fabulous as always. I'm hoping to make this a tradition. Andrew and I also talked about possibly getting kayaks! I love that idea. Hopefully that will be another new thing in the not-too-distant future.

What else?

To catch up, on Friday, I had City State Diner make a vegetarian Reuben for me. It's not on their regular menu but it should be because it was delicious!

On Saturday, Andrew and I met friends at Bridgeport for a pre-elopement celebration. It was nice and the chocolate cherry stout was amazing although I should have stopped at just one.

on the anniversary of my dog's death

I woke up today knowing that today was going to suck. A year ago, I went through one of the worst times in my life as I had to choose to terminate the life of my best friend for his own good. I've healed a lot since then, thanks to the support I've gotten from Andrew and Ava. However, I wasn't really prepared for this day either.

Shortly after I got up, I checked my phone and saw that my mom had sent me and my siblings a text, notifying us that our dad had a minor stroke. She recognized the symptoms and got him to a hospital but then there's a lot of unknown. We don't know what the care will be afterwards, we don't know the extent of the stroke, and I'm all the way up here, so far away.

Fortunately, my brother and sister are closer and are able to get there soon. I feel so damn helpless right now.

diner dreams

I romanticize diners, particularly when they're mentioned in song. Just sitting alone, people watching, waiting at the counter for the man to pour the coffee. However, when I go out, it's either with someone or with a book so I rarely just sit and think and people-watch. And I don't want to dine alone more often but I do want to be in the moment, instead of escaping into a book.

Last week, I went to Red Square Coffee on my bike ride into work. I used to live right near there and I've been carrying around a punch card for years with nine punches on it, just waiting to finish it off so I went there once and got a coffee to go a few weeks ago and last week, I got my free coffee. The other card I've been carrying around for years is for Common Ground Coffee Shop. I decided to get my ninth punch on that card and indulge in some diner/coffee shop love. It was what I needed. I listened to Eddie Vedder sing the 'Into the Wild' soundtrack and got to take stock of where I was and how I am doing. I need to do that more often.

Yesterday was a bit rough for me, as Tuesdays often are. We had our weekly staff meeting and I again thought about what it would be like just to walk away from it all. It's also my busy month so I have felt a lot of pressure. I desperately needed something new and all I could come up with was ordering the #54 at Pad Thai Kitchen which was tasty but still didn't satisfy my newness need. Breaking my morning routine today to stop and savor the environment was enough to snap me out of my rut and allow me to appreciate my life.

nerd cred

Today, my new thing was meeting some of my teammates for next months's Geek Olympathon. Again, if it wasn't for this blog and my vow to try new things, I'm not sure I would be doing this but it does sound like fun. Basically, there are several events around town (rumor is 32 separate events) that you and your team of 5 try to take part in and win. We don't know what the events will be but in the past, they've ranged from Pinball competitions to rolled-up-sock corn-holing to beer and potato chip taste testing. And we're supposed to do it in costume. I love an excuse to dress in costume so that was the first hook for me.

Anyway, the people that I met today were nice and I'm looking forward to doing this with them and my friends. Hopefully, it'll all just be good, silly fun. In talking with them though, I began to doubt my nerd credibility. I can't speak a lot of the lingo and I roll my eyes at extreme nerdiness. Like, there's a line I've got to draw. Of course, that line gets pushed back and blurrier all of the time. Initially, I was thinking that it would be full of trivia like naming the engine capabilities on the x-wing or some shit like that but I've heard that the trivia portion is just looking for people to have general knowledge in a wide variety of genre which is cool cux that's what I got, unless you're talking Buffy trivia because then, I'd slay.

pedalpalooza kickoff ride 2015

They're predicting hot weather from here on out. It's gonna be in the 90s over the weekend and then in the mid-80s after that. While I don't like it any hotter than 72, I am glad that it's going to be nice weather for Pedalpalooza this year! I don't have any plans to attend a lot of rides. Really, it might just be WNBR which is on the last day of Pedalpalooza this year.

I wasn't planning on going to the kickoff ride but our friends Alex and Jude were going and Andrew mentioned going. Then I figured out what to wear and I started to get excited about it. It's the biggest ride of the year following WNBR bike by quite a margin but still, there were hundreds of cyclists in various costumes or street wear. It got slow in parts but spirits were light and it was well organized. We went through the Lone Fir Cemetery (my first as part of a group ride). While I've enjoyed many of the kickoff rides over the years, this was probably one of my favorite as of late because I did it with friends.

Back in the day, we all used to bike. Every one of my close friends had a bike. Very few of us had cars. We would ride to parties and occasionally do Critical Mass rides or Pedalpalooza rides together. I miss that. More bikes, less cars.

work work work, like an old dog

Ava isn't old and she doesn't know the meaning of the word 'work' but the title is an old catch-phrase of my dad's. My new things for the last few days have all been work related. On Monday, June 1st, I met the family member of one of my former clients who is going to start working with me here. On Tuesday, June 2nd, I met another person agent at a different agency who works with the roommate of one of my customers, and today, I met the baby of my office mate. She's off on maternity leave so Ava's been coming in more often, as pictured above.

Every Tuesday and Thursday, I usually experience a little bit of tension, anxiety, or boredom at work which leads me to check my Megabucks ticket from the night before. But really, this is a good job. Sometime last year, Andrew was criticizing my ownership of a car and I said that it was required for my job unless he wanted less rent money. He said that would be fine so, really, I don't need to work this job. I could find something that pays less but this job is rewarding and the atmosphere is great. I love the fact that I can bring Ava in and I haven't worn pants since the week before Memorial Day and I don't plan to put any on until maybe the evenings at Country Fair. So, I probably won't be looking for a new job soon but, as much as I do like the job, I will keep buying Megabucks tickets because a boy has got to dream.