it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

 

This neighborhood in which I live feels more like a neighborhood than any other place I've lived in since I was a kid. In western Nebraska, the towns were all too small. In college, I wasn't really comfortable enough with people to be neighborly. In my apartment here, I didn't like my neighbors at all. In my last house, the neighbor were fine but the location didn't lend itself to a neighborhood feel. It was nice being at the end of a dead-end street but it meant a lot of people didn't pass by and, if they did, they were transitory people temporarily living in the apartments next door. Here, there's something lovely and peaceful about the neighborhood but also busy. It's kind of perfect.

Since I got my hammock, I've been all about the back porch of the house. Today, I moved to the front and got some front porch furniture so I could see more of the neighbors and feel more like part of the neigborhood. Jess and I walked around the Hawthorne St Fair after I got helped my hangover via brunch at big Jam. At the street fair, we found Rubber Redone where I saw some furniture made from recycled tires that I kind of love. After riding through the Sunday Parkways and watching a band perform at the neighbors, I took Dean back to the Fair where I bought the furniture. They delivered it later on. Originally, I thought it'd be too big for the front porch so I was going to move it out back but it fits perfect. Yay!

dancing my blues away

A while ago at work, we had a class on the grieving process. During this class, the idea was put forth that grieving wasn't just reserved for death but also for loss. This could mean loss of a friendship, house or job, etc. I think that's what I've been going through. My friend's firing at work was sudden, like a death and it totally rocked my world, like a death would. Looking at it from that perspective helps me understand my emotions but I also realize that it isn't a death and it doesn't have to be an ending but it could be a beginning. He's an awesomely smart and charismatic guy and I'm sure that he'll end up finding a job that pays more.

While it did shake up my future plans at work, it also presented me with opportunities. I was willing to stay at the company for an indefinite amount of time because he was there too. However, with him gone, I'm free to go when my obligation with schooling is done. My work closed a door for me so now I'm bailing out the window.

I did call my boss this morning to make sure that she knows I'm not quitting. I love my clients and I would hate to not get to see them anymore. I'm not happy with the agency but that doesn't change the fact that I'd still do everything and anything to help the clients.

What else?

Since my future plans at work have changed, I felt more comfortable with letting loose with some of my co-workers. Tonight, I met two of them at Blowpony and we danced a whole lot. I got more drinks spilled on me than ever before and my co-worker Erin pulled me up on stage at Blowpony for the first time. I really don't remember any of the songs that we danced to but I know that I enjoyed myself.

the day I fell out of love with my job

At my work, they just fired my best friend. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do.

There was always a plan for him and me to take over eventually. Ever since I've known him, we've both worked for the same company, in different stores and different departments at times but we've both been there, working for the same 'man.' Now, I don't know if I can be there anymore. I don't even know if I'm wanted there anymore. I don't know for sure why they fired him so I don't know if they'll come for me next. Maybe I'm hoping they will.

At any rate, my new thing today was cleaning out my desk at work. I'm not quitting right now but I do want to be prepared. Right after they told us all he was fired (at 3:15pm on a Friday), they continued to say that we're all expendable and the company will go on without us. Wow, thanks.

tasting the rainbow

Today I ate a f'ing unicorn. I love Portland.

There's a vegan cart here that not only serves fake meat but they serve the fake meat of fake animals. They have a fake unicorn, mock loch ness monster and faux BBQ griffin. The beauty of this is that you can put together an outstanding flavor combination without having to try to make it bear a resemblance to an actual animal. It can just taste good and not necessarily like chicken.

I was satisfied with the unicorn. It wasn't what I was expecting but then again, I was expecting something utterly bizarre like deep-fried skittles mixed with pop-rocks. Maybe THAT'S what unicorn tastes like...

What else?
Truth be told, I back-date all of these entries unless I'm really on top of my game. Right now, I'm about two weeks behind and it's been a pretty important (but busy) two weeks so I want to post but it may take me a bit. I'm also going to skip the mundane days. Yesterday (Wednesday 8/24/11) was nice but I don't have a good pic so I'll just write that I went to the Sapphire Bar for the first time because it's supposed to be romantic. It wasn't but Andrew and I still had a good date. We're thinking of going camping together soon. Fancy that...

go wildcats

Every other year, I arrange a big tour of work clients to PGE park or, as it is now named, Jeld-Wen Stadium. Since we went pro, tours are a little more difficult to arrange but I was persistent and the tour department at the stadium was kind enough to give us the school rate since we are a non-profit. A lot of the clients said they enjoyed it but reallly, the tour was for Ashes and me. We were like kids at Disneyland when we saw the players practicing and Coach Spencer!

It was a lot of fun for everyone though, especially since we took the work bus. We have a relatively new short-bus, similar to the Tri-Met lift buses for work usage. One of my clients is in a wheelchair and I typically can't transport her myself since our other vehicles aren't equipped to handle a wheelchair. However, we took the bus out for the first time and she was able to participate without feeling like an outsider or an exception.

My other favorite part of the tour was when our tour guide said he was a Beavers fan. One of the clients promptly puffs up his chest and says, "Well, I'm a Ducks fan." Then, another new client says, "I like the Wildcats." The tour guide asked who the wildcats are and the client turned around and showed the guide his backpack which was cute, pink and black and from High School Musical. Too damn adorable!

What else?
I started another alias tonight. I think I just have too much time on my hands. I'm not going to promote it here and it's primarily used for a social-networking site. It's mainly a venue for me to express my creativity elsewhere.

the other guy

New guy (Travis) tonight at a new place (Muu Muus). He was nice but he's not...I don't know...right. Immediately after our date, I thought about texting Andrew to see if he wanted to go out this week. Tonight's guy, Travis, is only a year older than me and has a dog whom his world centers around. He's almost vegetarian. That's two big positives but it just wasn't clicking. Maybe it will later if we go out again but I'm not probably going to make that effort.

I don't even see Andrew that much because I don't have a lot of free time for dating. Why the hell did I think that I needed to start dating someone else? Maybe I was looking for something super-casual or for cherub's singing and an instant connection. It was a good experience though because it made me appreciate the chillness of what I've got and who I am.

preparing for 90

Today was the hottest day of the year so far in Portland. I think it may have gotten to 90. One of my co-workers is originally from Oklahoma and said that it got to be around 115 degrees there. That's insane. I complained today that it was too hot and Ashes, Victory, Raven and I all headed out to Oneanta Gorge to save ourselves.

It was awesome! I love the hike in there with the log jam and the deep pools in the cavern. It was too deep in parts for most people to touch the bottom and they had swim it. Raven and I tried to climb the rock walls over the deepest pool but you could only go so far so I gave up and dove in. Ashes said that I let out the loudest, highest pitch scream that the Gorge has ever heard because it was damn cold. I also lost my sandal. I started looking around the bottom for it, dreading the seemingly inevitable dive to the bottom to look for it. Fortunately, it floats and some guy down the way found it for me.

What else?

 On our way back from the Gorge, we stopped by Ashes' parents' house where Raven showed me his treehouse there. He and his cousins hang out in there and have even slept in there. It reminded me of the fort that my sister, my cousins and I had at my grandparents' farm. While I was back in Alaska, my aunt, uncle, dad and one of my cousins reminisced with me about the fort. My cousin Tesha reminded me how I pulled a dead chicken out of the bare-bones spring mattress that we wanted to use for our fort. As a reward, they made me a certificate for doing the deed.

It was nice seeing Ashes' parents again. Since I moved out of the house, I don't get to see them very often. While we were there, his mom had us move a treadmill from downstairs to the garage. I was happy to do it just because they're good people.

And...

 I also went to 442, Portland's best soccer bar to watch the Timbers game. We won and it's an awesome bar with great atmosphere. I think we'll be watching games there from now on.

Afterwards, I went to see TrollHunter with Dominic, Jesse, Sophia and her friends. I've been wanting to see it for a while and I think I let my expectations get too high. Still, it was pretty cool.

Overall, just a stellar day!!!

tired of new cameras

Last weekend at Alaska, my camera pretty much gave up. It sucked because I know I would have taken more and better pictures if it had kept working. It didn't travel well in my bag and the preview button became jammed into the case. It also started doing the zoom/shut-off twitch that it did at Bagby. I had a little extra time at work today so I searched for good camera reviews. I ended up deciding on the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-H70. It was cheaper than my last camera and since I seem to go through them every few years, I thought cheaper was the better way to go. Ashes was headed to Jantzen Beach anyway and the Best Buy had one of these cameras in stock so I went ahead and bought it, while talking my way into all applicable on-line discounts.

This camera has a few features in it that my last one was missing, like good night shooting capabilities. Before my camera before my last one crapped out, I took some good night shots with it so I am happy to have that capability in my hands again. Plus it can do panoramic photos. I'm thinking of investing in the $50 2 year insurance plan which covers everything but submersion since I know how brutal I can be to cameras, especially when I take them with me wherever I go.

seein sia

As you may recall, a few months ago I finished Six Feet Under and wrote that I cried during the last six minutes. I give a lot of credit for those tears to Sia and her beautiful song, Breathe Me. Shortly afterwards, Martin sent out a message, saying Sia was going to be in town and I committed to going. I can't say that I was a big Sia fan before the show. I love the song Breathe Me and, a few days before the show, I started listening to her music more on Pandora and Jango. However, I knew in my heart that I was going just to see Breathe Me. Therefore, it figures that she wouldn't sing that song until her encore and even then as the last song. I also had to see two opening bands before she even started to perform. Really though, I think I enjoyed one of the opening bands, Oh Land, just as much if not more than Sia.

First up was Ximena, the artist in the third picture from the top. She was sweet but there really wasn't a lot of instrumentation in her sound. Oh Land, the second picture from the top, was awesome. She reminded me of Goldfrapp but was consistently dancey. She also pandered to the crowd a lot more than Goldfrapp did when I saw her so long ago. I could swear that she also pointed directly at me in one of her songs when she said something about rainbows. I was wearing my rainbow shirt at the time so it made sense and I was definitely visable from the stage. Afterwards, I bought her album and she just happened to come up to the merch counter then so she offered to sign it for me. It's the first thing that I've had signed that's not a book, I believe.

Sia was awesome and fun too though. I found myself surprisingly familiar with her songs and she also covered Madonna's Oh Father which is one of my favorite Madonna songs. Plus Breathe Me was pretty damn awesome, although I didn't cry this time.

how i spent my summer vacation

Today felt a lot more like a vacation than the last few days have been. There was no pre-scheduled get-together, no plans, no limits. My parents suggested that I do what I want to do so I rented a bike from the hostel and biked over 31 miles around the city.

I started off my busing back from downtown where we all perused the Saturday Market. Then, from the hostel, I biked to Kincaid park which was beautiful. I got down close to the water where I was sure a bear was going to come out and chase me into the mud where I would sink to my untimely doom. Fortunately, that didn't happen and I was able to bike up to Point Woronzof (pictured in the first pic above) which had an awesome overlook into the bay and the city. I continued along the coastal trail, stopped in at Snow Creek Cafe (again) and then biked up north along the Ship Creek Bike trail. I came back downtown after hitting a dead end and ended up biking to my parent's hotel. After we went out for dinner, we came back to the hotel and I biked home to the hostel.

It was great. I love my family and it's been nice to spend time with my parents up here but I am an introvert by nature which means I need alone time to recharge my batteries. Today, I was fully charged and biking around on a natural high. I wish I would have seen more wildlife but at least I got to see a lot more of the area. There are some more pics below my What else? section.

What else?
For dinner, we went to the Snow Goose Restaurant and Brewery. I was still full from my biscuits and gravy at Snow Creek but I was plenty thirsty and the beer there was wonderful. Okay, here are the pics:

Here's a panoramic view from Kincaid Park. It doesn't really do it justice.

And this is the Ship Creek Bike trail. It was cool to see a different part of Anchorage which this definitely was.

the waterfall wedding

I'm so damned proud of this photo!
I was expecting a typical family wedding when I originally decided to come up to Alaska for my cousin Kelsey's wedding. Kelsey has always been less traditional than most of the the other cousins that have gotten married but I figured it would an outdoor wedding but otherwise it would be by-the-book. Well, today I found myself in a bus-limo, being driven out to a waterfall outside Anchorage, drinking champagne with four other gay guys and their supportive family. How f***ing fabulous is that?

A half-brother of the groom and a cousin of the groom are both gay and partnered and pretty awesome. The parents, grandparents and siblings are all really supportive too which made me feel super comfortable too. I just loved it all. Plus the ceremony was simple and sweet and under two minutes.

What else?

My aunt, my cousin, my parents and I all went outside Anchorage to see some sights and some salmon. I was a little disappointed by the lack of wildlife around but I did get to see some salmon.

downtown anchorage

I wrote this in the morning before I got out and took pictures. I was going to keep in private but I decided that it perfectly conveys the feeling of this morning.
 
I feel like writing this morning and I didn't bring a journal so I'm using my blog. Right now, I'm sitting in a kitchen in Spenard Hostel in Anchorage Alaska. The rooms here are different colors and none of the furnishings match. The table that I am sitting at has four different styles of chairs with it. It reminds me of the old Red and Black or the kitchen at Lenin's place in Berlin.

I had to wait behind a elderly Russian man who wanted his own room this morning before I could check in. Two guests, presumably a couple, started watching Angels and Demons in the living room. I have no interest in seeing Ewan McGregor play the action-hero priest so I'll probably leave before too long. The guy who slept in the bunk above me last night joined them and is wearing a "Snow Makes Me Horny" hoodie.

The sun is out, the sky is clear and there's a vegetarian breakfast place three miles away that I plan on visiting, even if I have to walk.

What else?
After heading out from the Hostel, I walked almost four miles to downtown for some veggie biscuits and gravy. I ended up at the Snow City Cafe which I highly recommend. The food selection was good, the staff was friendly and the b&g was probably the best I've ever had.

My parents called after I got on the bus and headed back to the Hostel where they picked me up. My dad, my cousin Allen and I ended up hiking up the Flattop Mountain trail which overlooks Anchorage.

In the evening, we all headed to the house where my cousin was having a gathering. Traditionally, it would have been the rehearsal dinner but the wedding is going to be very casual and requires no rehearsal. Therefore, we just used the gathering as an excuse to get together and drink. It didn't get really dark until after 10pm. It's pretty cool because it's like an endless evening. However, it also meant that people kept drinking including myself. We told a lot of family stories from growing up together. It was super-sweet.

I was also happy to see that my cousin's soon-to-be groom has two gay guys on his side of the family and they each brought a partner. Yay! A good hike, vegetarian food, friends and family and other gays! What a vacay!

my piggies' first pedi

I needed to feel like I was actually going on vacation. I forgot my typical 'flying out' rituals and I didn't just want to drink to relax so I decided to get myself a pedi for the first time!  It was awesome. My new thing today will also be setting foot in Alaska for the first time at 11:40pm. However, when I do so, I want that foot to sparkle!

time for a detour

Quick food post: I checked out Detour Cafe for the 1st time today on my way back from one of my store visits and tried their Chronic Burger. They make their own veggie burgers and it was pretty awesome!

What else?
We had a stress management class today at work. It's one of those classes that we have to have every year that seems redundant and ridiculous. A new guy taught it this time though and it really worked. I felt totally calm so I decided to call the person who stresses me out the most, the mother of one of my clients whom I had the problem with last Tuesday. This woman calls me often and rarely can remember the way the conversation went last time so I never really know when she's going to yell at me. Today, I called and made peace, asking if we could come to an agreement about how we were going to proceed. She cried and yelled but I remained calm and eventually said enough of the right things for her to come around and thank me. That's what I needed before I could truly relax during my upcoming vacation.

fun with comics

This weekend, I tweeted out a picture of Dean and me at the park. Justin sent it back to me as a comic book. I about shit my pants right there. For a fan boy, the comic app (HalfTone) is a wet dream. I proceeded to make a number of pictures at work today into comics. My picture above is from the superhero party almost three years ago. I instantly thought of it when I discovered the app.

I also have a number of clients who are big superhero fans like myself, including one of my favorite guys, G. Today, without any prompting from me, he started playing like he was blowing things up with his hands. I guessed he was Gambit at first but it turns out he was Iron Man. I got him to do the pose for me quick and I turned a picture of him doing it into an awesome comic. A few other clients were interested so I made several comics. My awesome co-worker who was identical to me on the Briggs Meyer test said that I can count the day as a win, even if that's all that I accomplish for the day. This was a much needed day of contrast in comparison to last Tuesday.

sweet hereafter weekend

A few weeks ago, another awesome place opened up near my house. It's a vegan bar! I love this hood. However, a lot of other people do too now. When I went to the Sweet Hereafter for the first time yesterday, there wasn't a lot of people there. It was the same way today when I went back (with Andrew this time instead of Sophia & Justin). However, that was during the day. When I've walked by at night, the place is hopping with people spilling out to the sidewalk. I hope it's a summer/new business/temporary thing. I like my new hood but I like it a little more low-key.

What else?
My date with Andrew was awesome.

Sophia and I brunched today on Hawthorne and shopped around a bit afterwards. I went into Masterpeace for the first time. It's a hemp shop. Surprise, a hemp shop on Hawthorne.

deep fried avocado

What happens when you batter avocado slices in cornmeal and fry them up? You get a happy Topher. I love Homegrown Smoker's inventiveness. Not only did I try the fried avocado but I got the Chili Pie with it which is served with Fritos in a Fritos' bag. They may not be the most healthy vegan place but they are probably the most creative!

'getting caulky' or 'locked, caulked and loaded' or 'I *heart* caulk'

I got some caulk today. Hee-hee. I also lost a screw off my bike this morning so I got to tell my cool co-workers that "I wasn't able to find a screw but I at least got caulk."

My new thing was finishing up my hammock in back. I caulked the wall where I screwed the eye hole in so it didn't rot in the rain. I've never used a caulking gun before but it was relatively basic and cheap and a lot easier to do than fix a rotted wall down the road.

I probably won't post tomorrow unless something amazing happens. Most likely, my new thing will be falling asleep or at least spending the entire evening in the hammock.

What else?
A few of us helped Tim celebrated his birthday today at Portobello. It was fun and I tried some new dishes (like the mushroom ravioli and the pole beans).

the world I know

This song has been in my head lately (I wish I could embed it but it's blocked). The song is sweetly sorrowful and inspirational at the same time. I however am mostly feeling sorrowful.

Today, I got a distressing call from a elderly parent of a client. Basically, the parent was admitting to me that they were being neglectful of their adult child with disabilities and engaging in behavior that was endangering people's lives. I know that she knew that I was going to have to report it. I think that she was telling me to absolve herself. If anything were to happen to her or her child, then she could always say that I knew about it so she believed it was okay. So now I get to be the social worker that gets a child removed from the home. This sucks.

I've had doubts about this job and this line of work before but today I broke down and admitted to myself that I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be responsible for this. I don't want to continue to go to school. I want things to be easy and simple and mindless again. I want work to be just that. Screw job satisfaction. I want a paycheck and then I want to be able to move on with my life. I want a job that has no actual consequences on anyone's life and I want to be able to forget about it as soon as I clock out. Hell, I want to be able to forget about it while I'm doing it.......but that's a lie.

I  wish that I didn't want to do this job. From my front step, I can see the video store near my house. A guy who used to do the same job as me at work quit over a year ago and now works as a video store clerk at this store. As I stopped at home today, I saw him bike to his video store job in his shorts and t-shirt and I was jealous. I miss my mindless video store days but only in hindsight. Retail work was boring as hell and when it wasn't boring, it was stressful. As hard as my job is today, it's given me some of the gratifying and best moments of my life. School is difficult too but it has also been amazing.

I think it's just summer. It's weighing hard on me. Thankfully, I have a vacation coming up.

What else?
My new thing today was setting up my hammock in the backyard. Ashes came over to help me and I messed with wire rope and it's now all secure. I've got to put the finishing touches on it tomorrow but, after the way today went, I really really need this hammock.

catechism cafe

August got off to a roaring start.

Lately, I've been really missing going to drag shows and I've been meaning to make it to one. Also, yesterday, Sophia and I were talking and I was hankering for a BBQ. Well, today, I got all of that and more at this month's Catechism Cafe. Sister Krissy Fiction of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence was having her 40th birthday and decided to use the party to raise money for Phame, the performing arts group for people with disabilities for which Jessica works. That's so awesome. Over $1600 for raised for Phame which is completely awesome, especially because Sister Krissy just wanted to give back and this is the first non-exclusive-LGBTQ group that the Sisters have raised money for.

The party was fun! They had a BBQ at Crush and were kind enough to make vegetarian options for Sophia and me. They had other BBQ options like macaroni salad and watermelon slices. Plus, they had vegan gelato which was nothing short of divine. As Sophia said, it was worth the price of admission just by itself. There were a few drag performances including a queen doing 'Beaver' instead of 'Fever' which was just hilarious. Also, one of the students from Phame performed several gay classics (Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Cabaret, etc) acapella. He did a great job and even came out in drag for his last number.

It was a unexpectedly fun night. I was going mainly to support Jess but I stayed because I loved it all; the drag, the food, the fun and the cause.