Friday, August 31, 2007

drinkin' buddies


Today I went to Tennessee Red's for the first time but more importantly, I went with my co-workers. I think that you can work alongside people eight hours a day for five days a week for quite a while and never get to know them as well as you do when you sit down with them for a drink. Unfortunately, it was a going-away party for one of my co-workers Megan. I wish I'd drank with her before now because she can tell stories that nearly had me in tears.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

making bank


Today I cashed in my coins I have been saving up. I made over $70 for the first time. It was 12 quarters, 410 dimes, 342 quarters and 1451 pennies. I needed a haircut and I couldn't afford one otherwise. Plus my coin jug thing was full so I had to turn it in. I went to a coinstar at a Fred Meyers which sucks because they take 9% out but at least I didn't have to count it myself.

I needed a haircut because it was starting to poof out and I was afraid that, with my glasses and shaggy hair, I was starting to look emo-riffic. And I couldn't have that.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

cage 'n food


Today I made lasagna for the first time but it’s really hard to get a good picture of lasagna so I’m using a picture from last Thursday. This is the dance floor at Embers, my favorite place to dance.

My housemate’s parents came over and I cooked for all of us. The lasagna turned out okay. I was pretty unsure about it. I had a coupon for pizza just in case. It probably could have used more salt/pepper and maybe some veggie sausage. But hey, it was edible, just not very pretty.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

waiting for the night

This morning, there was a lunar eclipse. I got up at 3:30 am to see it. My housemates were already up and outside. It was fascinating only because it doesn’t happen very often. I’m not sure it was worth getting up at 3:30 am to see. I haven’t done that before and I’m not sure I’ll do it again.

I don’t know what I was expecting. I guess I was hoping to see something a little shinier like a solar eclipse. Okay, that’s a lie. What I was hoping for was the sudden realization that I had super powers like those on Heroes. Is that too much to ask?

Monday, August 27, 2007

clark kent camouflage

I feel phony at work sometimes, like I am playing the part of someone who should be in my position. I think a lot of it has to do with my clothes. We have a 'casual' day at work on Fridays but every other day is business 'casual.' I usually wear short sleeve button up shirts and slacks which I feel do not represent me at all.

I was a little more dressed up today because I had to go to the YWCA (for the first time) for a quarterly provider meeting (whatever that's supposed to mean). With my glasses on, I really felt like I was wearing a disguise, like Clark Kent except I'm not Superman. When I left my meeting, I spent sometime looking for a phone booth to take a picture in but I didn't have any luck finding one. I need to start wearing tights underneath my clothes just in case I happen to stumble upon one.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

rocking the horse


I went to a Laughing Horse Bookstore collective meeting today. There's a group that meet regularly at the bookstore and there was issue with one of their guest speakers earlier last week. The main issue was the the guy is an active member of a right-wing homophobic, pro-life political party and he did not allow for a safe space in this radically progressive bookstore. That, combined with the events of last Sunday, compelled me to go to the meeting. A lot of people were writing on Portland Indymedia about how they wanted to see Laughing Horse change their policies. Since it's an open collective (meaning anyone can go and join up) I decided to be the change I wanted to see.

After an hour or so, I wanted to run screaming from the place. Either that or I wanted a paintball gun with different paintballs assigned for each of the issues that arose their. 'You're a homophobe, you get a pink paint-cartridge. BAM! You're a holocaust denier. Black for you! BAM! Orange for the ageist! BAM! Multi-colored for the privileged older straight white male who puts himself in charge! BAM! BAM! BAM!'

I love some of the members there and I strongly feel for them for the shit that they have to put up with on what appears to be at least a weekly basis. But, wow, me and Mary Blige will stick together and walk away. No mo' drama!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

muggling through the day


Today was one of those days where you just want to curl up with a book, drink some coffee and not much else. Especially when the book is the new Harry Potter!!! I am so excited to read it. I could have done just that today and called it a good day. It's like a superbly cooked meal when you're starving. As easy as it would be to do, I don't want to just rush through it. I want it to last and I want to savor it. It's the LAST ONE after all.

So in order to not just read it all in one sitting, I forced myself out of the house with the help of my roomies. We went to Timberline Lodge on Mt Hood. The only other time I had been there it was snowing. We went right from the car and into the lodge to get some cocoa last time. This time, I was able to walk around the place and take in some of the sights. I went under the ski lift and checked it out. The view from the lodge was impressive but I didn't really fully appreciate it because I would have been more content with my nose in the Deathly Hallows. When we got back, I volunteered to be the sitter for the night so everyone else could go out and I could do what I had been waiting for...

Friday, August 24, 2007

no more contact


Today was another day where I did something new but I'm not going to say what it was because it would be stupid to do so over the internet. It was enjoyable though. The picture is from the Riot Cop show yesterday at Satyricon.

I can say that today was the last day I will wear contacts though. I've started on my two week period of wearing glasses. Before I can get laser eye surgery, they have to examine my eyes to see exactly what will need to be done. Before they can do that, they have to have my eyes reform their natural shape and to do that, I have to be contact-free for two weeks. I stopped wearing glasses when I started my junior year in high school so it's been a while since I've worn glasses full time. This is going to take some adjustment. I am not really comfortable wearing them in public right now so I will be hiding in my cave for the next two weeks.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

i am a rhino


Tonight, we took our Chi Kung class outside. They are paving the road outside the dojo and the smell was wafting in through the windows and was almost choking us. We exited the building for a park upwind across the street. While we were doing our thing outside, I had two primary thoughts.

First, as we were doing our shaking exercise, I thought we must look like freaks. The shaking exercise consists of us standing in one spot and shaking our whole body like we are puppets suspended by a string with our feet secured to the ground and being bounced up and down. My friend Arturo has expressed concern about looking ridiculous doing this in particular exercise in public. Fortunately for him, he wasn’t at class today. On the other hand, I reveled in making people stop and stare. I love to let my freak flag fly.

My second thought was: “I am a rhino.” While doing the shaking exercise, I tend to go with whatever image pops into my head with my eyes closed. Usually the perceived shape of myself and those around me are distorted in my mind like they would be in a funhouse mirror. This time, with the tall grass tickling my bare calves, standing underneath a half moon, I thought of myself as sturdy and alive in the present and for some reason, I associated those ideas with a rhinoceros. The point of the exercise is to shake off any diseases or illnesses. I also let any bad mojo go. My thought drifted to my financial tightness right now and the fact that I may not have money when I get back from Europe. But I let those thoughts shake right off of me. The rhino doesn’t worry about money or the future. The rhino is the present, only concerned with what is here and what is now. Here and now, I was in a park, bouncing and loving every minute of it. That’s all I had to worry about. I will deal with the future when it is the present.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

early to bed


My friends the Eclectic Bastards returned from their nation-wide tour tonight. To wrap up their tour, they played one more show at the Ash St Saloon here in Portland. It was originally announced that they would play at 9 pm. They later sent out an e-mail saying it would happen at 10 pm. When we got to the Saloon (for the first time), we found out that there was two opening acts before them.

I love the Bastards and I really wanted to go ape-shit dancing to them but it was a “school night.” I have to be up at 6:20 am to work tomorrow. I ended up leaving around 11:20 pm which is early and I didn’t even get to see them play. I did get to watch Renegade which is this multi-media performer who apparently makes his own videos that go along with the song that he plays next to the video being projected. It was…unique.

Seeing the Bastards right as they returned did make me a little more anxious to go back to touring Europe with Riot Cop. That’s another thing I did yesterday. I paid Justin for the plane tickets! We fly out October 2nd and return on the 29th! I’m very excited about it now that it’s set up! Soon, I will not be going to bed early. I will be up til 4 am about every night drinking and dancing. Ah Europa!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

it's not easy eating green

When I cook, I still add a “meat” even though I’m a vegetarian. By “meat” I mean soy chicken, tempeh, tofu, veggie sausage or textured vegetable protein. It’s weird how we still cling to old habits like that.

Tonight, I made a pesto pasta with green beans and potatoes for the first time. It was okay but nothing spectacular. I had an excess of green beans and potatoes at the house and a hankering for pasta so that’s what I went with. The recipe didn’t call for any veggie meat and I didn’t have any that would taste good so I made it without any. There’s some protein in there with the cheese I put in the pasta but it’s wasn’t quite the same. It’s strange because it’s all vegetables anyway. I guess these are the concepts (meat for supper) that we’re raised with that are difficult to shake even though we have a completely different diet.

Monday, August 20, 2007

technophobe


I hate technology. It can be so convenient when it works but then you get used to it and it goes to shit on you and then you don't know what to do.

I am a technophobe. I resisted getting an I-pod for a while because I love my discman even though I would go through more than one a year. Well, one day it skipped on my excessively and that was the last straw so I went to craigslist and found an older I-pod with around 20 gigs of memory for $100. Then it became invaluable to me. I needed to have it with me wherever I went. Inevitably, I dropped it a time or two and it stopped being able to upload new songs. I figured that it was okay. At least I had my songs on my laptop. Well, then my laptop comes up with this error message of death and decided to not load up anymore.

I had over 1000 songs on my I-pod but my random selection kept playing the same stuff over and over and I started to download more songs onto my computer that I would rather be listening to. So I decided to go with a clean slate. It pulled up an error message when I plugged my I-pod into it for the first time and said that it could restore my original settings. I knew it'd erase all the songs I had but hey you've gotta move on sometime. However, it cleared all of my old songs out of my I-pod and refused to load up any new ones.

I may get a new I-pod sometime down the road but for now, it's back to the discman. You can't get too attached to these rotten technological devices. The stuff you own ends up owning you.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

amerikkkan punx


When I was thinking about what I was going to write about earlier today, I thought about how much I can enjoy the punk crowd. While watching MDC play at a street fair today, I thought, “I really like this.” However, by the end of the night, I was back to my mantra of “F-ing punks!”

Riot Cop and MDC played at the Laughing Horse Bookstore block party today. It was a decent show and it was the first time I had sold merch outside (and incidentally sat behind the bands while they played. It was going great when Ohnny showed up. Ohnny is a little punk who has been around the scene for a couple years now and who has been ostracized for his fondness of saying, “faggot.” Ohnny is not queer but thinks that he can reclaim the word being used as a joke. Ohnny IS a joke. Anyway, Ohnny has been asked to leave the space before and was asked to leave again. Instead, he sat like Ghandi and refused to move. Yes, I did somehow manage to refer to Ohnny and Ghandi in the same sentence. A concerned person came over to me and asked for help with security because Ohnny has a history of not respecting the safer space policy. I stopped the show and we tried to get Ohnny to leave. Ohnny wasn’t so much the issue as his friends were who were so quick to defend the word ‘faggot.’ After a while, MDC said we should chill out and the show should continue. Riot Cop held off for a little bit, the drummer told Ohnny to get out and then they continued with their show. The Ohnny ordeal wasn’t huge but there was little in show of solidarity from the performers which was disheartening. Luckily, several awesome activists were up for confronting Ohnny. Dave from MDC is queer and he has been around the scene for quite some time. I know this is very small potatoes for him but I would've liked for the bands to be a little more confrontational with fucks like Ohnny.

After the show, there was a stand-off on the corner between Ohnny’s crew and a bunch of activists. One little punk who I thought was a girl and turned out to be a 13-14 year old boy asked me who he was hurting by just sitting there. I asked the punk if he would just let a Nazi sit there and he said yes, he would stand in front of a Nazi. “What’s one Nazi going to do?” The punk then said that he uses the word ‘faggot’ and wanted to know if I have a problem with him. I said, “Well, yeah I have a problem with you. You’re a Nazi sympathizer.” That’s when the little shit shoved me. I’m not a violent person but I could’ve broke him in two. However, assaulting a minor was not on my to-do list so I stood back and someone held him back.

I'm looking forward to going back to Europe simply for the punks. American punk as a culture can be so fucked.

Friday, August 17, 2007

lady-like?


Tonight, I went to see Storm & the Balls play at the Wonder Ballroom. I'm attracted to guys but there is nothing quite like a strong woman. Storm exudes so much force and energy, it was difficult not to fall at her feet. I don't know if I've ever seen someone with so much stage presence. And damn is she beautiful. If Eliza Dusku was 6'2" and blonde, she'd look like Storm. And I think Eliza is amazing so that's saying something.

The band Kleveland opened for Storm. They were okay but I'm glad they weren't the band I came to see. They kind of reminded me of the band off 'Better Off Dead.' The singer even had a fan blowing in her face so her hair was all flowing. When I was watching them, I was still complaining to Ashes about how much I had to spend on the tickets. But Storm & the Balls were worth the price and so much more.

Victory has Storm's song "What the fuck is lady-like?" as her cell phone ring. I'd heard a little of Storm but I wasn't convinced that they were great or anything but seeing her live was completely different. The drummer was fair, the keyboardist was amazing, the bassist was sexy like Wolverine but Storm's voice was amazing and her guest background vocalist Nicki had a sweet subtle sexy sound and Storm played really well off of her. And, to top it all off, as the last song of their set before the encore, they covered, "Where is My Mind?" and almost made me melt.

Afterwards, four of us hung out with Agni who handles their myspace page and her two friends who were fucking amazing funny. Love lesbians! Nicki came out and hung out with us and we all joked around until we closed down the bar. Awesome night.

B-B-Q


I know I've said it before but I do LOVE my job. I feel like I'm actually doing good there too. I was pissed about something that was decided yesterday so I went and talked with my boss's boss (because my boss was gone and I couldn't talk to her) and gave her a better solution to what had been decided and she said that my solution was "simply brilliant" and we went with that.

Later on we had a BBQ for the clients. We don't regularly have these things. In fact, it's a first for me but I think that they will happen more often. My friend Connie thought of it and got approval from my awesome bosses and all of the clients liked it. One guy who regularly has behavior problems was SOOOOO excited by it that I was a little afraid he would have a seizure or stroke because he was working himself up so much. Fortunately that didn't happen. We served up hamburgers, hot dogs, veggie burgers for me, chips, cookies and pops all on the house. And I got paid for it!!!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

everything's waiting for you


I love downtown. I love biking downtown. Forget driving around there. It's a mess now with all the construction but it's usually unbearable anyway. Even scootering around downtown is rough. Biking is the only way to do it.

Pioneer Square downtown is called Portland's front porch for a good reason. You can just sit there, not feel out of place and just watch everything happen around you. Usually it's just the hacky-sackers but there's always something going on there.

I met my friend Jennifer down there today to sign her up on my cell phone plan. Afterwards I took pictures just because I love the place so much. My new thing was going to Cash N Carry and shopping (for a work BBQ) with a furniture cart instead of a shopping cart but downtown was far more fascinating. It always is.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

moving karma


After working in a thrift store for so long, taking people's donations everyday, handling and sorting out the product, moving's easy. If you figure in the fact that I have a big car and I like to exercise, I'm a prime candidate for helping people.

Today, I helped a friend's mom move. This is after I got off work where I helped two co-workers move their office. The work move was a new thing for me. Unfortunately, helping my friend's mom move has practically become a hobby. But hey, like I said, I like the exercise. Plus I got paid. Normally I'd be all humble about it and say it was nothing and not take the money. However, from this lady, I have no problem with accepting it. I feel like it's well earned. Especially on a day like today.

It was very warm outside today but it was downright hot in the creepy storage area where she keeps her stuff. The place makes me fear prison because that's what it's built like; a makeshift prison. There is no air, just these long impersonal hallways with marked doors like cell numbers. It doesn't help the aesthetic that the place is surrounded by a big fence with a big gate up front. As soon as you walk in the door of the building, an automatic voice warns you that your image has been recorded. Then you ride in a padded elevator to the units. It's very eerie. So yeah, I took the money. I think I built up major moving karma as well for all the times I've done this.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

no power in the 'verse can stop me

I DO hate TV. I hate commercials and I hate the persistent sexism and heterosexism that is so prevalent in mainstream media. However, there are certain shows I like. I appreciate good writing and cool action scenes. I don’t usually watch shows on TV though. I will download them and watch them without the ads. They are much more tolerable that way.

I know it’d be all bad-ass of me to say ‘Fuck TV’ altogether but I love Battlestar Galactica, Lost and Heroes. However, there was never as sharp of dialog as there was in Joss Whedon’s shows Firefly and Buffy. Yes, I am a big damn dork but I can recite lines from random Buffy episodes. Firefly was awesome and it was put down before it’s time because it was so awesome and because they put it on a bad night to try to get viewers. But there are still legions of fans out there, even though it didn’t make it one full season and last night, I hung out with a selection of them.

The Mission theater downtown showed three Buffy episodes a week last year until they got through the whole series. Seeing the musical episode there was amazing. This summer, the Mission is showing two episodes of Firefly every Tuesday. I went to it for the first time and participated in Firefly trivia. I didn’t win anything but that’s because I didn’t get called on, not because I didn’t know the answers. Like I said, big damn dork.

Monday, August 13, 2007

decadence


How does Topher indulge? A veggie burger, potato and cheese pierogis, strawberry wine, a black forest torte and italian tiramisu gelato (my first) does it for me. It was a good supper rewarding a strenuous weekend. I did go workout afterwards though. I can't be over-indulgent.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

running down that hill



There’s nothing like waking up to the view of an awe-inspiring mountain and a beautiful blue sky. On Sunday, I crawled out of the tent, faced the mountain, stretched, took three good breaths and I was healed. Wishing works because I was ready to go again. I washed up in the creek, we had a breakfast of scrambled eggs with bits of bread mixed into it and packed up our things to head back.

The hike back up the ridge was difficult but I made it through. My legs began to ache slightly but nowhere near as bad as the day before. The view from the peak of the ridge is simply amazing. Mt Jefferson is the mountain in the above picture and the ridge is in front of it. From the top of the ridge, I could see Mt Hood, Mt Jefferson (obviously), smoke from a forest fire in the hills to the left of the mountain and more mountains than I could fathom beyond that. Since my legs didn’t ache as much, I was able to enjoy the scenery that much more.

Plus, the majority of the hike back was DOWNHILL! YAY!! I did a LOT better going back, barely needing a break at all. Arturo’s neck was bothering him though so we did take a break of two but we made it back in great time. When we got back to the car, we had to drive down through the river bed that passes for a road. I got out of the car several times to move large rocks out of the way.

When we made it down the road, we had to go towards Salem instead of Estacada/Portland because there was a gas station closer by the Salem way. I saw Detroit, Oregon for the first time. It seemed like a seasonal town in it’s peak right now due to the hikers and the river rats. After we filled up, we headed to Salem and then finally to Portland. We got stuck in a long traffic jam outside Woodburn. I hate I-5. We finally arrived in Portland around 7 pm. I ate something quick, showered and had the best sleep I’ve had for quite a while.

It was an adventure. I don't know how soon I'll be up for repeating it but I know I won't be forgetting it any time soon.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

done in by a hike

I’m in relatively good shape. I like to think that I get enough exercise. Yet, on Saturday, I was sure that the hike was going to kill me. We hiked ½ mile to the Jefferson trailhead and then another 5 ½ miles up to this ridge that overlooked Jefferson Park and then another 1 ½ miles down into Jefferson Park. Normally I could hike 7 ½ miles without any problem. However, this time I was hauling a 40-45 lb backpack that another hiker dubbed “the Winnebago.” I didn’t get enough sleep the night before and I wasn’t quite sure what this hike would be like. When I was hiking down from the ridge, my left leg was shaking like it does after 20 minutes of doing stances in chi kung.

On the other hand, Arturo was a fucking jack-rabbit. I don’t know where he gets his endurance but sign me up for a double dose of it! The guy was always about 20 to 50 yards ahead of me and I was the one that had to call for break all the time. He literally cheered me on at one point. When we got down to the park, I could hardly move so he volunteered to run around and find a camp spot for us. All I wanted to do was get off my feet, take the backpack off and sleep. And as soon as we found our spot, we set up the tent and that’s what I did. I felt like I wasted the evening but I was tired, cold and in pain. When nightfall came, Arturo and I laid out under the stars and watched the beginnings of the meteor shower. Arturo was sweet enough to let me use his mummy bag while he laid there in layers of clothes. I used up eight of my falling star wishes on fixing my legs and giving me the strength to get back to the car. Either that or I wanted a helicopter to come down and get me.

Friday, August 10, 2007

the boy scout

When I was in sixth grade, my dad started up a Boy Scout troop in our small town. Since I wasn’t into sports or anything like that, he figured this would be a good way to connect with me. I really did enjoy it and I have always been grateful to him for making that effort. I was a lousy camper though. Early on, my dad saw that, whenever we would go camping, this other scout Drew and I would always go goof off while everyone else set up camp. Dad then split us up into small groups and left us on our own to make it. He put Drew and I together and it was amazing that we survived. I barely remember how we came through it. I think that we got help from one of the other groups. I still enjoy camping but I still usually leave the hard parts for someone else. I’ll go gather firewood.

On Friday, Arturo and I went to the Willamette Wilderness area to go camping. It was nice out. For Friday night, we drove up to a spot and set up camp there. Arturo has become quite the outdoorsman so I pretty much relied on him to keep us alive. We discussed where the tent should go and he said he was going to go take care of the fire. I decided that was my cue to set up the tent. I have set up tents before but never on my own. I have “assisted” others in setting them up. This time though I was on my own. It was not a challenging tent or a difficult setup. However, I did it (for the first time) without help (or instructions) and it didn’t collapse on us. Dad would be proud.

Also, this picture of the tent was taken with my digital camera on the night scene setting. I did not alter it to look this spooky. This is just how it came out. When I first saw it, it was a challenge to put the Blair Witch out of my head.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

a fresh reflection


My former supervisor once summed me up in one sentence to his boss. He said, “His best and worst quality is that he doesn’t have an ego.” I’ve always considered that true. I’m not full of myself but I could stand to demand a little more respect and think a little more of myself. Today, I met someone who helped me do just that.

My good friend at work brought in her best friend Janine from outside to come see our job today. It was interesting because it gave me a fresh perspective on my friend and also on how odd our job can be. We’re all used to it but Janine was taken back by it all. Also, my friend told Janine about me and had me tell her stories about Europe and my activism and my general activities. Janine looked shocked and then sarcastically asked me why I don’t go get a life.

I don’t think of my life as that exciting but when I looked at it reflected in Janine’s eyes, it looked downright fascinating. I thought, “Damn, I AM pretty cool.” I don’t think this is going to give me an over-inflated sense of myself but maybe a little ego is healthy every now and then. From time to time, if I can see in myself what Janine saw today, maybe I’ll be able to hold my head a little higher and have more of a positive reflection.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

playing the part


I actively try to disarm stereotypes and to work against the mold built to generalize people so I surprised myself today when I fit into a cookie cutter of a stereotype almost exactly. I went to the Dancing Beans coffee house (for the first time) on my break from work with a book to read. I was dressed rather nice because I was at work and it is close to laundry day. So there I am, an anarchist reading a political theory book at a coffee shop while sharply dressed all in black. All I needed was a long cigarette and someone to discuss Bakunin with and I would have been set.

I will think about my wardrobe and where I will be going more carefully tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

next door


I go to It's a Beautiful Pizza a LOT. I used to go there more. However, I had never ventured right next door until today. It's crazy to think how much is right under our noses that we don't know about. My office is near an industrial area. I bet they make all sorts of cool shit around there but I'm not sure what because I never check it out. That's why I like this blog. It gets me to places I wouldn't have bothered with before.

Today, my new thing was going to the Aalto Lounge. It's not amazing or anything but it was something different. My friend Sarah from 'Braska and her husband were there with her brother-in-law and his girlfriend and I met them there. It was really great seeing Sarah and Lane again and meeting her brother-in-law Ryan and...goddammit...I am horrible at names. Sarah, if you're read this, please refresh my memory. Anyway, they live in SE and go to a lot of the same places I do. It was great meeting them.

And they were here all along, right around the corner.

Monday, August 6, 2007

support group


It's hard when people let you down. Trust crumbles and soon the only thing you can count on them for is disappointment. I don't mean to rag on people and I'm not going to name names but it just feels like that is the way the tide is turning right now.

On the other hand, looking the glass-half-full, it does give one an astute sense of who they can count on by seeing who consistently comes through for you. I love my friends (and that includes my rock, Dean).

I had a video showing today. I do these things because I think they should be done. I don't look for a pat on the back, congrats or a payment. I just want them done. In this case, I wanted to show 'Hard Pill' which is a drama about a pill that could turn gays straight. I opted for this film because it's timely. However, I ended up working at the showing by myself (for the first time) and for the first time ever at one of these showings, the movie wouldn't work. I ended up showing 'Beautiful Thing' instead which is one of my top ten and a way better film, although not as immediately relevant. I was really upset at the advertised movie not working so much so that I wanted to start yelling and throwing shit. Still, I got to show one of my favs and it turned out okay. I think it left me in a better mood than 'Hard Pill' would have anyway. How's that for half-full?

Anyway, I've been counting on help from friends and comrades this past weekend and tonight. I was a little disappointed in broken promises and abandonments but it was reassuring to see other people consistently show up and come through.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

hitch your wagon

Today I rode in a little trailer home while it was being pulled about town. I know, it’s not really necessarily legal but someone had to be with it in case the hitch came undone and it ended up in the middle of Powell Blvd. It turns out it didn’t (YAY) but it was a possibility.

We didn’t take it that far. We towed it to the Red and Black café for our benefit rummage sale. It turned out to be a great sale. We made some decent money for them. All of the money came from free items too. No overhead! After the sale, we hung a sheet over the side of the trailer and projected “Sicko” onto it. It’s still an awesome movie and I urge everyone to go see it and to take eight of their friends!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

summer summer summertime


The weather has been very odd lately. I know it’s due to unnatural climate changes and it should have me more upset but…I hate the heat! I like a break from the rain but if there’s light cloud cover and it doesn’t get above 80, you won’t hear any complaint from me.

However, today felt like summer. It didn’t feel like a HOT day but it was warm. I rode my bike around a lot. I cleaned out old junk for our rummage sale the next day. Then I went to a bonfire garden party with good food, friends and musical entertainment by Victory and the Lads. That feels like summer to me. It’s nice that, despite what the weather says, we can create our own summer.

Oh, and my new thing was trusting Beez Restaurant when I ordered a breakfast burrito there for the first time and asked them to substitute bacon for veggie sausage. Yes, it’s a cop-out.

Friday, August 3, 2007

my first

I was going to blog about this funky soy fish I had for the first time but Arturo told me that was a cop out so here we go:

When I first came to Portland five years ago, I had one goal in mind: go to a gay bar. I can't remember what made me choose Silverados but it was the first gay bar I stepped foot in. Damn, I was nervous. I remembered the fear of the unknown. However, as soon as I stepped in, that emotion was replaced with comfort. I was taking comfort in the fact that for the first time ever, I knew I was in a bar where I was not going to get my ass kicked for being different. If you're not queer, it's hard to explain the sense of relief and utter joy I felt.

Being my first, Silverados has always had a special place in my heart. I have a hate/love relationship with it now after five years. I love it for it's debauchery and I hate it for it's queer conformity. Everybody is too damn clean cut there! Sadly, Silvers only has one more month to go and then it closes. Some entity of gentrification bought the building and is kicking them out. I went back tonight because I haven't been there in a while and I'm really quite sad that it's leaving. With it gone, there will be no more gay strip joints. I know that sounds really superficial of me but it sucks, especially when Portland is the strip club capital of the US.

So tonight, for the first time, I introduced myself to one of the main-stays of Silverados over the last five years, Trevor. Trevor was the first bartender in Portland to get my drink ready before I ordered it. I've known Trevor for five years now and I introduced myself to him for the first time tonight. Silvers is supposedly going to move to a new location. However, the move-out date is only a month away and they don't have a new place yet so I'm not holding my breath and I'm saying my goodbyes now.

About the picture, it's not mine. Silvers has a policy about not taking pictures. So I was FORCED to take one off their website to illustrate my blog. They shouldn't be upset. It's free advertising after all and they can use all the help they can get right now.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

in the dark


Chi-kung was awesome today. I missed last week's due to the Riot Cop show so I was anticipating this week's class.

We did our standing excersize for 21 minutes which is a new record. It felt like a new record!! My legs were a-shakin' and my arm ached afterwards so I was really glad when we were told to get chairs for our next meditation which is a first. Then, after a few of the standard excersizes, we did a new one. One person would stand behind the other person with their hand on the person's opposite shoulder so they were off to one side or the other to the leader. They would close their eyes and follow by touch (not grabbing) the person. It was quite a sensation being led around by someone, following their movements and just trusting that they won't lead you into a pole.

There's a visually-impaired guy at work that I work with a lot of the time. He's the first blind person with whom I have had consistent contact. It's odd because I lead him around a lot and I've never really thought about putting myself in his shoes. It was an experience, walking around blind and depending on your guide and trying to keep up with them. The guy at work constantly pulls me back and it always had kind of annoyed me because I can never walk at a decent pace with him but I guess he's just being careful. Maybe he doesn't fully trust me as a guide. I think this is an exercise I will try to get more people at work to do.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

the independents


I developed a love of independent films when I worked at Hastings Video Store in Nebraska. My boss DJ always would talk about how he'd love to buy a theater in town and play old classics and independent films only. Instead, one of the theaters in town was bought and turned into a dentist office. What a waste.

Portland is arguably the independent theater capital. As I said, I'm a big fan of the independent flicks and I have yet to make it to each theater that shows them. Tonight, I made it to one more for the first time. I went to Cinema 21 to watch "
Tekkon Kinkreet" which was a sweet although predictable and simple japanese animation film. I liked it but I did feel like I was watching a marathon of a Liquid MTV show. The price of the movie was higher than I'm used to paying for theaters in town but I guess it's worth it if it keeps them open.